Ladies, are you worried because your man is looking at porn? Well last month's edition of
WebMD the magazine (the one with Harrison Ford on the cover) wants you to know that his porn addiction is "probably ok."
Sex therapist Russell Stambaugh says, "Often, one partner has a porn interest, and the other thinks that's a problem. It rarely is. The best studies suggest that only about 5% of porn users have a problem that interferes with their daily life."
Another sex therapist, Lonnie Barbach, adds, "Some women feel threatened because they don't think they're as sexy as a porn star. But it's not about what he's not getting at home. It's the novelty. It's a turn-on."
WebMD wants you to know that regarding your man's habits, "The porn was never the problem."
Then you have Dr. Patrick Fagan who, at the same time
WebMD was printing their article, released a study that showed regular viewing of porn can affect everything from the bedroom to the board room.
Men who look at porn are more likely to be dissatisfied within their marriage or their partner. It is a pathway to infidelity and divorce, and is often a major factor. Among couples where porn is a regular thing, two-thirds experience a loss of interest in sexual intercourse. It breaks down communication and leads to a loss of interest in resolving conflict. And a porn addiction can even his work ethic.
WebMD suggests looking at porn together! Dr. Fagan offers a less laissez-faire approach. The best defenses against porn are a close family life, a good marriage and good relations with everyone in the family, and the deliberate monitoring of internet use at work and at home.
Thoughts on porn in relationships?
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Comments (102)
i love watching porn with my boyfriend :) i don't mind if he looks at it alone because i do too! our sex life is great and only continues to get better and better... we've been together for a year and a half and it's awesome :)
i mean, it's not a huge deal. i know my boyfriend does sometimes, and it doesn't really bother me. it would bother me if he did it instead of 'doing it' with me, or if it started taking up too much of his time and actually affecting his/our life. otherwise, it's whatever.
can we stop acting like there's something wrong with porn, and thinking porn is a guy-only thing?
I love how people make it sound like women don't watch porn as well. So lulzy.
As long as it doesn't lead to an addiction or unrealistic and/or unhealthy perceptions of sexual relationships, I don't see why porn is such a big deal. As long as people have libidos and video cameras, there will be porn.
I don't agree with porn. My husband and I don't look at it. We like to laugh at the infomercials of sex toys though =) lol
eh. me and my husband dont watch it. he's more into call of duty. lol.
threatened by the porn star??? really??? wow some women can be SO insecure. she is a fucking PORN star....there is nothing to be intimidated or jealous about. She gets fucked for a living.
I dont mind porn...and to be honest I watch it myself when I feel the need to release some stress. lol
I have never felt jeelous of a porn star. I know its just a turn on and I can be just as sexy or more so in the bedroom. I walk away learning some things too. lol
Hmmm. I don't care if my boyfriend watches porn. Hell, I watch it once and a while. xD I wouldn't watch it together, though. That'd just be awkward.
forget the porn.
If women are so insecure they feel threatened by a PORN STAR, then THAT'S the problem in the relationship.
My ex-boyfriend very rarely looked at porn, if he did, it was just pictures. I was shocked, because I thought guys looked at porn all of the time, and watched videos, ya know. I probably watched more porn than he did, lol. It wouldn't have bothered me at all if he said he looked at it a lot. I didn't really think anything of it. However, my current boyfriend admits that he "listens" to porn at least once a week. Meaning, he doesn't watch it, he just likes hearing girls moan and uses his imagination. He says if he watches it, he feels bad, because he feels like he's cheating. I thought that was so sweet, but I can't help but think he's full of shit. Like, YEAH RIGHT, a guy is going to pull up some porn video just so he can "listen" to it?? I don't think so. Anyway, him saying that he felt like he was cheating when he watched porn got me thinking. And now, it kind of saddens me knowing that he's lusting over other chicks. :/ But like I said, I didn't feel this way at all until he said something about it. I guess I'd rather him watch porn instead of actually cheating in real life, but still, it'd be even better if he did neither. But I can't say that, because like I said, I watch porn too, it'd be a total double standard. It's a lose-lose situation really, oh well, I'm just rambling now, sorry.
I don't really care that my boyfriend watches porn. I've encouraged him to watch it because I know it's something he enjoys and it helps him get off in our long distance relationship. It's gotten to the point where I've bought him porn.
As far as me watching porn. I've watched porn but I can't get turned on by it. That still doesn't mean that I'm against it and would tell my SO to quit watching porn because I don't. My SO can watch porn anytime he wants just as long as he can perform in bed, which he always can.
if he wants to watch it, go ahead, but not with me. seeing him getting a boner while he is watching a pornstar just grosses me out. I'd rather he get his fix while looking at my pictures
why doesn't he just ask me to do a striptease for him
I've seen porn. yeah, it can be hot but it isn't something that I'm addicted to or watch often or even occasionally. I'd rather watch fairytale soap opera dramas than porn I usually make sure that he is thinking of me by sexting him amongst other sexy things when we are apart
Thank God for horny people. I have come to love porn. Its a great stress reliever. In relationships, its great to watch and criticize porn with your SO, because some of it is just downright hilarious at times. As long as you are confident in your relationship and know where you both stand about the issue, I say porn is a beautiful thing. rofl.
Fyi, I would have NEVER said this a year ago.
the only reason it would bother me if my boyfriend was jacking off to porn, is that my sex drive is higher than his. so just come over. :)
and just watching? whatever. get ideas. im down. ive done that before.For me, porn has pretty much been a result of lack of sex. Mostly when I'm single, but my sex life kind of died out in my last relationship, so it was happening then, too. I feel like If I would have had sexual pictures of her, I wouldn't have needed porn, and these situations would have been a lot more gratifying.
I feel bad for guys who are in relationships where porn is forbidden.
The lack of porn rule is more likely to break you up than anything else.
I think it's a bit controlling and unfair..
but that's my opinion.
As long as he's not hiding it from me, and as long as it doesn't take away from our sex life, I don't mind. I watch it myself on occasion. *shrug*
"Men who look at porn are more likely to be dissatisfied within their marriage or their partner."
Correlation =/= causation
I don't see any particular problem with it, as long as you're open about it to your partner, and don't act shady.
@MsKittyCatty@xanga - I agree with you on this one. I don't see the point in it TBH, other than finding an excuse to emotionally cheat on eachother. You shouldn't need it. Single? Sure. Getting it regularly? It's almost an insult.
I hate finding out that SO is looking at porn. It hurts me...makes me feel like I'm not good enough. I don't look like a porn star, although I am a pretty girl..but it still makes me feel uncomfortable. We have watched porn together, but it's just not my thing. I am all about being real..I want to be the fantasy and the reality, therefore, I don't see a need for porn in a relationship..well mine anyhow..if that's your thing, cool..but it's just not mine..and I don't want it to be my SO's either.
My husband looks at porn, I couldnt care less. It doesnt effect our relationship or our sex life at all. Its just one of those habits he enjoys.
meh, we put porn on at a party and made fun of it. doesat count?
if we wanna get off we send each other naughty pics/videos. works MUCH BETTER.
I love porn! I watch it probably 700% more than my fiance. We're have no problems with it, and sometimes we watch it together. I really don't think it has anything to do with the partner's adequacy.. he's obviously not home 24/7 to fuck me whenever I want it, and sometimes it's just for the novelty of it.