Tuesday, 02 February 2010
-
How Did You Figure Out What You "Like?"
We all know (or at least hopefully know!) what we like in bed.
But I don't think we all start out that way; after all, practice makes perfect. I've always thought that you cannot teach someone else how to please you unless you know what you like beforehand so you can tell them how to successfully get you off.
Alternatively, couples can explore their sexuality together and help one another figure things out as they go along, but this takes a lot of communication during the actual acts and well, while it doesn't necessarily have to ruin the mood, it adds extra work to an act that should be simple, focused, and enjoyable.
I personally took the matter into my own hands (pun!) and was able to talk with my boyfriend before we ever started fooling around, and tell him what I knew would be good for me. As far as his preferences though, we kind of felt things out and with his feedback, I learned what he liked and what he would enjoy.
But which do you think is more effective? How did you figure out what you like, or are you still trying to figure it out and how?
Related Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: greenglow28@xanga
- About Me: I'm an 18 year old college student, but for god's sake, please judge me on what I have to say, and not my age or the rest of my generation.
-
True
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 19 Views: 0 62410 Comments: 0 1459 View all posts by greenglow28@xanga
Comments (47)
i agree, if you do not know what it is to please you, how is your partner able to please you. yes, practice helps and some experiment and very good communication. i am there to please you (not you literly) and i want to, but if you dont tell me what feels good and what doesnt, how am i suppose to know?
the best sex i have had is when we both were comfortable talking about it with eachother and to push the envelope a little and to say "no" and respect that. an dnot visit that again.
the women that i have had the best sexual experience with also had been matsturbating so knew what they liked. thus the women that did not or did it rarely we had a hard time pleasing eachother.
My policy is 'who cares what she likes'.
http://plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/
@PMFoutofwater - Hah.
My partner and I just talked. It really wasn't too complicated for us.
Never had to talk about it. Somehow we just had that good connection. =)
I knew what I liked but at the same time I also found out other things I also liked,and it did take communication while doing stuff, which isn't bad at all,but actually fun (for me at least.)
Different people approach it in their own way - and whatever works, works.
Er. I never get why people have an issue with this. It's basically like a massage except much better. When he's touching me, I ask him to do this, or to do that, and if he's doing something that feels bad, I'll tell him to stop. If I feel like experimenting, I ask him to experiment to see if I run into something nice.
@PMFoutofwater - which is why you prolly have NO bedmates.
I just try different things, direct their hands, and then they learn, and I learn, and we're both happy. Yey I love comas. Haha.
@PMFoutofwater - I swear, do you have to comment on EVERY post and spam us? Really? Ugh.
My husband and I communicated.... geez, it's not THAT hard.
I've been communicated with on what's enjoyable... quite so! I was told by my ex-girlfriend that it would be "better" if I worked out more and to stop being so prude.
@petite_mince@xanga - Ouch! Burn!
@Morningstarrising@xanga - OMG! that's what i was gonna comment on... that fool is on every damn post! his answers are stupid too!
i never really had to talk about it... iono how to explain it... my SO now he knows how to please and i never really had to tell him anything... and i know what he he likes just by doing it i guess... iono...
@l0veBabyx@xanga - my approach, too. communication is key, and there is lots of untapped potential in pleasant surprises
also, for me, i find "solo" stuff to be sooo different that even if i find out what i like alone, that doesn't really have a whole lot to do with what i like with a partner. also i disagree that sex should be "simple" and "focused"- it's so complex, really, and i think discovering things that please each other is what makes it fun!
true story.
Boys learn everything from porn.
Like you said, communicate. It's not the other's fault if they don't know what you want. Don't think they can read your mind because they can't.
I tell him to do whatever he wants, and if it hurts, I yowl until it stops.
hm... well, i know this sounds bad (and is bad, really), but i used to have tons of sex with different boys, and usually the guy just had his way with me. it felt good, so i figured that was all there was to it. then i met my current boyfriend and discovered that things are actually so much better than i had previously thought. it was no longer about me solely pleasing the guy, but also about me finding what i liked. experimentation was a big part of it. it didn't take a lot of talking, just more sex, finding what felt best. then i could tell him how i liked it, and he'd tell me what he liked. and that is how i found fantastic sex. the end :D
trial and error? if something feels good, im pretty vocal. if something doesnt ill tell him. no big deal. we know a few things about what were "into" from porn as well.
i dont have a problem with other people masturbating but i just dont really enjoy it. whats pleasurable when its with someone i love just isnt when im doing it to myself, and feels more odd than anything. honestly i doubt i could have found my gspot myself, it might have felt different, but not good.Communication! But I am painfully shy so it's difficult for me to express my emotions.
I don't know, I think I'm broken. :(
just explore.if something feels good then be very vocal in letting your partner know it feels good and if something doesn't then definitely do the same...being comfortable with each other is a must.you can't expect a one night stand to fully please ya ;)
i figured out what i liked after so many practices and mistakes made along the way.
he can do whatever he wants and I'll say yes or no
then his turn
trial and error method works.
sometimes spontaneity is fun, too. this makes it seem as though you have to figure out by yourself if you will like something, remember that, and then tell the other person. some of my favorite things i found out because i let the other person take the lead during some heavy canoodling, and voila! giant smile on my face, without all the trial-and-error.