Saturday, 30 January 2010
-
Dreaming With a Questioning Heart?
So, last night I had a dream about the boyfriend. Dreams are supposed to help you work through the problems your subconscious deems important (that you might not want to think about while you're awake), right? Well this dream was a doozy.
In the dream, the boyfriend and I were at a concert together, watching/listening to a band we both like. He disappears for a bit (to use the bathroom, I assume), and then comes back after a while. I ask him what took him so long, because he missed some good songs. He replies nonchalantly "I just had a pretty hardcore make-out session with a girl backstage."
End dream. I wake up in tears, curled up in a ball hugging my pillow to my chest.
But the thing is, I completely trust him. I've never once worried about his loyalty to me in the few months since we started dating, and didn't even question his actions and intentions before we were "official." I don't mind his still-strong friendship with his ex, I like that he has female friends he can hang out with casually...but this dream cut deep.
He and I both agree that we're not at all jealous by nature, and we want the other person to be able to feel comfortable with the opposite sex. We have similar views on the importance of school and work (we're both in our junior year of college), so our relationship sometimes takes a backseat to our priorities, but this has never prevented us from finding time for each other at least once or twice a week. Although our relationship is still fairly new, we're committed to each other emotionally.
My question to you, Datingish readers, is this: Do dreams like mine really translate literally to your subconscious thoughts? Should I tell the boyfriend about my worries?
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: CRAZi_DoRK@xanga
- About Me: well yes, i'm a dork... only a little though ^^;;
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 1 Views: 0 831 Comments: 0 28 View all posts by CRAZi_DoRK@xanga
Comments (28)
Dreams are no indication of truth.
Dreams are an indication of your personal worries.
If you're feeling uneasy about his relationship with other girls, it doesn't always mean you have a reason to. Any romantic relationship can bring this up, even the most trusting ones. It's totally normal.
If the bad dreams continue, I suggest bringing your concern up to him and not let yourself worry anymore. (:
I always tell myself that I won't be jealous but when I see him talking to even platonic female friends, I still get a tad jealous. I think you are at least 1% jealous.
@TheRealMelanie@xanga - Uhhhh yea, that was like the perfect answer so ummm. . . . . .what she said xD.
Dreams usually reveal your hopes, values, fears and whatever stimulus you had during the day. I bought a dream interpretation book. Some of it is symbolic. This dream could mean lack of trust or you're worrying about how faithful he is.
You are probably just worried about his faithfulness on a subconscious level. Which is something you won't experience in an awakened state. I'd say it's pretty common, especially in the beginning of a relationship. Nothing to worry about though. I dream about my boyfriend cheating on me quite a bit, and he is sooooo NOT someone that would cheat on a girl, but I'm insecure. :/
whats really crazy..is that i had a dream tuesday night that my boyfriend cheated on me. on wednesday, he tells me he had sex with his ex girlfriend on monday night :/ sometimes i think that our dream are messages of some sort.
In some past relationships, I've had dreams of them cheating on me... blatantly. And I've come to conclude that it's an indicator of either my unconscious fears or unconscious insecurities, which are the real problem. The SO isn't the problem, usually.
It's really silly to take one dream seriously. I cheated on my then-boyfriend twice in dreams, and I told him about it because it's no big deal - it wasn't with anyone I'd ever want to cheat with. It was more funny than anything.
Then only time you should take dreams seriously is if they're reoccurring and they bother you a lot. Reoccurring dreams tend to represent some sort of reoccurring thought or emotion.
For example, my ex has been making moves on one of my best girlfriends in the past week, and coincidentally I've been having a few dreams in the past week where I'm being taken hostage and I'm begging for the person not to hurt or kill me. Since I've never had this kind of dream before, I'm assuming it's since in my mind, I'm begging my ex and my friend not to hurt me..
Some (most) dreams are just dreams.
No one knows for sure. Some people will tell you, 'It's just a dream!' Some will say, 'It'll come true!' Others will tell you it just a thing the brain does when it sorts out information from your subconscious mind. So, the best thing to do is to talk to your BF about this dream of yours and from then, you'll know what to do...
one time while my boyfriend was sleeping over... he sleeps out in the other room, i still live with my mom. i dreamt that while i was asleep, my mom came over and brought some girls home from the school she works as a teacher? and i dreamt that i slept through it all, and when i woke up my boyfriend was all nonchalant like, "oh yeah, this girl thought i was really cool, so i just had sex with her." and in my dream i was like ... WAH!?!?
then when i woke up, he was coming into my room to sleep beside me, my mom had left for work. i fell asleep again and dreamt that i just had sex with some random other guy, and i saw this look on his face and .... i woke up REALLY glad that it was all a dream. i told him about both, cause i felt horrified! lol, but, dreams are just dreams, nothing more.
This dream may mean a lot of things that have nothing to do with your boyfriend. It is quite possible that in this dream he symbolized something you trust whole-hearted. This dream is important no matter what anybody else says simply because you remembered it and it disturb you enough to post it on the web. The value of that importance lays entirely on you. So before you tell your bf anything, ask yourself, are you telling to test him or test yourself? Who is going to benefit if you tell him? Consider those things before you take any drastic move. Your bf reply may not be one you like and that may cause problems later on. Take your time, dream some more an answer either way will come.
it's unknown what dreams mean. They can be things you keep buried in your head, or they can be a way to process what's going in your life. No one is certain. It's a bit frightening, but if you really trust him, brush it off and know that he's faithful.
sometimes they mean something, but not always. last night i had a dream that i was hanging out with this boy i had a crush on a long time ago (before i met my boyfriend). i have no idea why this boy showed up in my dream. i just laughed about it when i woke up.
maybe you just feel a little neglected by him in general. if you are, let him know it.
Fuck, tell him - this could be the start of some really kinky reverse cuckoldry.
http://plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/
Yes.
you should trust your gut this time 0_0.
or i guess just be really careful.
Sometimes a dream is just a dream. I once dreamed that I married my grandpa. Most disturbing dream of my life. Did it mean anything? Absolutely not. I most assuredly am NOT married to my grandpa. So there you go...sometimes it's just a dream, and it doesn't need to be taken seriously.
-Katie
i had a dream where my girlfriend said she made a mistake for going out with me...
the next week she said we should break up, so we did.
UGH hahaha
This becomes kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy if you focus too much on it. I can see where your concern lies, however, if all you can think about is how you DON'T want something to be true, you're going to be looking for any signs of evidence pertaining to the thought. Even if it's completely illogical, focusing on this too much will mean hardships for your relationship.
I once had a dream that I planned to rob a bank. Doesn't mean I have this uncontrollable unconscious desire to rob banks. I had another dream where I rode horses for a living. It doesn't mean I'm going to give up my life calling to work at the equestrian center. Dreams are dictated by things we are exposed to in our lives. Naturally, the thought will cross in a relationship that there might be something shifty. You govern your own thoughts and actions. Don't let your dream take over your better judgement.
Some of the most harmless things in the world are nightmares. You need to recognize that and move on. If it really bothers you, then talk with him about it.
That theory is actually an outdated Freudian idea. Dreams can take snatches of anything you've thought about or looked at that day and twist them into something completely unrelated to your life. As far as we know, they are random, simply taking information and helping our brain process through it. Or not helping, as the case may be. Don't let this bother you too much. Most psychologists today don't take Freud's theories seriously.
You shouldn't worry about what your dreams tell you. When my boyfriend and I started dating i had all these dreams where i was cheating on him or vice versa. i told him about all the weird dreams i've been having and we both thought it was completely ridiculous! after awhile these ridiculous dreams went away :) i think you should tell your boyfriend about your worries and he can reassure you and i guarantee they wont occur again.
Don't worry about the dreams. I've had countless dreams about my boyfriend cheating on me, but then again, I'm slightly on the jealous side. Good thing is, none of them have come close to coming true :) I'd suggest that you tell your boyfriend about your dream. You should be able to tell him anything, right?
i had or am having the same problems everyday. trust me everyday. we're in a long distance relationship and its hard. i am very insecure.everyday he has assure me that everything is alright and that he wont cheat on me. and yet i have nightmares bt everything. and its all caused by the insecurity i have towards my bf. because of that its affecting my relationship with him. i should tell myself that everything is alright and the dreams dont mean anything. because he loves me very much.....