So the other day, I was literally cornered by an ex-follower of Christ (which a story in itself) where she basically attacked me and told me that my way of life was "out-of-control" and that I should not be taking my friends (who are also just happen to be followers of Christ) with me to the clubs. She then goes on to say that the clubs is not an appropriate place to find "the one."
I had to hold myself from laughing at her stupid statement.
I go to the clubs and bars because I'm a full-grown adult who happens to have friends who enjoy spending time at places like that.
Now that I think about it though, if the clubs and/or bars are not appropriate places to find "the one" where are we suppose to find them? And what would be consider an appropriate place? I honestly don't think there's a right or wrong place to find the one but maybe I'm just naive.
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Comments (44)
Well, I don't think anyone even goes to bars and clubs to find "the one"! Girl sounds crazy to me.
But, it doesn't mean people can't find "the one" in a club ... but that's probably highly unlikely anyway. "Appropriate" can be defined by anything, but mostly by how open you are to meeting potential loves, your own values. It's about who you open up to, at any time or place. I don't perceive you to be naive - that girl sounds naive, not you!
chance encounters
clubs are for fun. :) there's nothing wrong with that. personally, i'm not into "finding the one" so i couldn't tell you where to look. there's more to life than finding a partner, lol. if i come across a person with whom i am compatible, i'd be happy, but i'm too busy with everything else to be avidly searching.
EWH i hate when people that are followers of christ follow my ass around and tell me i need god in my life when they ask me what i believe in.. i'm atheist.. that doesn't mean i don't believe in shit.. i believe there's a higher power but not god... frickin' annoying! anyways that has nothing to do with the blog but after i read it.. it just brought up times like that!
who the hell would want to go to a club or bar to find the one... while their intoxicated? that's kinda stupid... in a way... and there was this episode of inside edition they talked about how some girls got so fucked up they can't even move that they got taken advantage of and was abducted and raped and even killed... so i'm good off that!
My guy friends laugh at girls who expect to meet "boyfriend material" in clubs or bars.
I can't say that I particularly disagree :|
But you never know :)
Why can't people just go to clubs cos they like dancing? Is it so hard to believe?
Some people do find a short term thing.. but it never lasts long enough.
@lil_fire_bella@xanga - Yeah the odds are just against you.
@ci_ci_o@xanga - I do!!! :DDD But only if the music is good too. I've been to some where the DJs are horrible and I can just make an iPod playlist that is better. :(
@MissPixieGlitter@xanga - Yeahhh after college, I don't see where people meet other random potentials. o___o
I find it hilarious to that no one stop to even consider the possibility that people go to clubs to have fun, go dancing, let loose a bit. None of that has to include "finding 'the one'."
But as for finding the one, I do think it's possible.
I for one have met many guys in clubs that end up being my friends. And somewhere down the line, some of my friends end up hooking up with some of these guys and having a long term thing, even if they didn't end up being each other's "the one."
And yes, these girls were with me when I met these guys. So technically, the girls met these guys at bars too lol.
I choose not to listen to insane people.
@tigerdauphin@xanga - I know right? Uhm, yeah I'm going to find the one base on his or her dance moves and their ability to hold their liquor...
Listen, you can meet people anywhere at any given time. Whether or not they are someone for you is another story. Sometimes they are, sometimes they aren't. And whatever happen to going to clubs and bars with friends just to have a good time? It's not always about guy/girl trolling.
UGHH all the guys ive encountered at clubs were naasty, if i really wanna find a guy i go to a book store for realz ive seen some hotties there
From what I've observed going to clubs in Italy, most guys don't go for the sake of "meeting" people. They go for the purpose of hooking up. If you want to meet people with the possibility of starting something serious, get a hobby or something, meet people of similar interests. You can't even hold a conversation in a noisy club.
@diannisforever@xanga - LOOOL!!! Honestly!!! soo true :D
Everyone knows that we can't find true love in clubs :S
i think you can find true love anywhere.
I think it's possible to find someone at a club or anything. A lot of different kinds of people are there, so why not?
Yeah, its possible to find the one there.. But usually its a place to flirt and see who ranks the highest in dancing, looks, or who gets the most numbers, etc.
I know some people who get hooked up after meeting at clubs.
It totally depends on what sort of people you want to hook up with..
Someone from a club, a library, school, cafe.. etc. Doesn't matter.
I guess you could find the "one" anywhere, but most of the guys in clubs aren't looking for a relationship.
I go there to visually tease men with my sexy outfits, not hook up with them or hope they are "the one."
Anyone who doesn't need any taming to remotely be spouse material wouldn't go to clubs more than once or twice. There's too much in your face for them to feel comfortable there. It's simply incompatible with the way people who want to live up to their human potential think and feel. Given that, it's still not worth it to go just to have fun even when hooking up isn't the point; because the displays kill it anyway. Besides, if I dance with a girl, I don't want to have to wonder if she's a tramp (don't say you're not unless one night stands, and fwbs, are impossible with you), that would make me sick.
I don't necessarily think clubs increase your chances of finding "the one" any more than a trip to Walmart does. Â Â
well, cameron diaz met someone in the sweetest thing (had to look it up lol) but grabbing the guy's ass. man, if only life were like that, lol
You're right, you can find "the one" anywhere! I happen to have found my "one" at a club. It's been two years, and still going strong. So don't let Bible-beating people tell you otherwise! :)
Although this wouldn't really be a story to tell my kids as I don't want them venturing off to the clubs JUST to find "the one"
I totally agree with her about the not finding "the one" at clubs/bars. It can happen but most people go there for fun and as such aren't incredibly honest/forthcoming when talking to members of the opposite sex (or same sex depending on their disposition). I guess you could start every conversation by saying "don't waste my time if you're just looking for a hookup." or something else along those lines and be fine.
Coffee shops, libraries, book stores, parks, concerts, poetry readings, conventions are all good places to meet both potential mates and friends. They are better than clubs because the atmospheres are more relaxed and/or centered around something you enjoy so you've already got something in common to talk about just by being there.
I think it's possible to find someone worth a shot at the club, but it's not the best plan for finding someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. You just have to go into the situation not expecting to find "the one" so that you don't wonder what's wrong with you when the guy you find is a jerk. Because there's probably a higher proportion of jerks at the club than, say, at the library. But finding the one to spend the rest of your life with can happen anywhere, so be ready for it.
I actually don't believe in the concept of "the one" but I won't get into that right now.