as long as her complaints to her boyfriend even out with the positives, then there's nothing wrong with this arrangement. Working through her struggles together will strengthen the relationship, as long as she makes sure that they still have fun together, and the relationship doesn't become too much work.

She should definitely share what's on her mind with her boyfriend. If he sees that it helps her, wouldn't that be strengthening the relationship, because he knows he's assisting in making her happy?

I don't think she should worry about it. It's a mutual support system, and we silly humans DO need each other. Venting and showing him that he's needed now is okay. It won't make her a totally dependent person, especially if she's worried about that happening. Also, I bet if he were in her shoes, she'd want to know what's on his mind, good or bad.

A little help from others can inspire us to keep going - which does show us what we're really made of.

Part of being in a relationship is accepting, loving, and supporting people despite their crazies. He'll help her, she'll find her footing again and it will help everything including the relationship. And unless he's perfect (which he isn't) there will come the day when she has to help him out with something similar.

Great post.  I've thought about this, too, and I know he has as well.  It's another step closer together, emotional intimacy, that's for sure.  But I'm glad that I can come to him and he helps me out.  More than that, I'm glad I can reciprocate.  Certainly there needs to be a line somewhere, and I try not to turn my anger on to him, but we're glad to share both the good and the bad.

Oh man, I'm always talking about random crap so if I had a boyfriend who I can't talk to, then I'd have a big problem.

To have someone THAT close to her, (who also seems pretty mother effin sweet) and someone who she CAN depend on, then why not depend on him?

At least she KNOWS that she might come off as annoying but how can she become more comfortable around a boyfriend without... being comfortable around a boyfriend? Telling him random things, going to him for advice.

And he seems like the kind of guy who will help out instead of complain. (I think.)

I'm actually going through the same issue myself. Although my boyfriend doesn't really want to hear about my problems. He just suggests I work on them and he'll work on his. So needless to say I'm rethinking this relationship. We are both experiencing financial and work issues (we don't live together). I understand working on oneself but not being able to share these things is upsetting me. It's hard to understand how much is too much or what is enough.

if he really loves her, he wont go "enough already"

I've tried keeping everything to myself and not letting anyone help me with anything. I was independent, but I was miserable. If a person cares enough to ask what's wrong when you say you're "okay", tell him/her. And reciprocate.

She should always be able to be honest with her boyfriend about her thoughts and feelings.

There is nothing wrong with asking for and/or accepting help when you really need it. SOs are supposed to lean on each other a bit. You don't have to surrender your independence in order to accept help once in a while. Sometimes we genuinely need the help. There should be nothing shameful about it and it doesn't mean that you're becoming co-dependent on anyone or anything. Its just how you deal with things in the future. EVERY time you have the SLIGHTEST issue, are you coming to your SO or friend or family member and expecting them to fix it FOR you? If so, that's a definite problem. But, the way to stop that lies within yourself.

But, this is not a slight issue. She has changed her mind about what she wants to go to college for, and she has yet to make up her mind about what her new career goal is going to be. This is a problem, because this determines her future and you are graduating in May. She doesn't have to go to college right after high school, but there are a lot of opportunities that could definitely be lost if she doesn't. These are life decisions that largely determine her future. This is important. She is bogged down and overwhelmed with everything she has to do, and with the necessity to figure out what she wants to do with her life in just a few short months. Accepting help right now from her SO would be a very GOOD thing to do.

Also, if what he seems to be saying in this recount is true, then he is not saying he is going to fix everything for her. He is saying that he will help her to figure things out, get organized and everything else. This does not equate to doing it for her, this is doing it with her and really in a case like this she is going to be making the major decisions because these are life altering decisions and only she can decide what she wants to do and what is right for her.

A while ago, I was just discussing this issue with my man.  I was afraid to become dependent on him and would quite often just struggle and tussle my way with some things.  He said, he doesn't expect me to ever become completely reliant on him, it's nice to know I can be independent too but it's even nicer to know that sometimes I need him to be there, be the man and let me just depend on him a little while.

When he comes home from a long day at work, tired and frustrated.  I'm just glad he would complain about his day to me, because while there isn't much I can do to change the crappy sequence of events, at least I'm there to listen and to provide some encouragement so he still is motivated to go back and go at 'em the next day.  A good loving partner such as the one your friend has got here probably doesn't mind listening if it makes her feel better.  Just as long as it's not an everyday long speech of grievances thing!

I get hung up with my university projects sometimes and worried about where I'm going to be later in life.  I worry that everyone tells me I've got all sorts of abilities and capabilities to go up a good length of the corporate ladder, and that my career will in reality come and go without a single glorious moment or even living up to the high expectations people have of me.  And I'm glad I talk to my man about these hang-ups, because he'll sit me down and give me a good talk that inspires me and gives me the renewed belief in myself.  If I had to do it alone, I'd probably have a heart attack already from all the stress.

Sometimes by allowing people to help us with our problems introduces new perspectives and attitudes that inspire our own personal growth.  Keeping a diary or punching the woohoo out of a punching bag could be good for immediate venting too.  It helps talking to girlfriends, but we girls have more a tendency to show empathy, b***h about it with you a bit, make long lengthy conversations with you, but we're not that good at ultimately making practical advice.  She should be able to tell her boyfriend anything that's on her mind, just bearing in mind that it's probably a better way to start off by letting him know she's about to say what's something that may be lengthy, and she'd just like him to listen and maybe give her some good wisdom at the end of it.

I'm the same way. I struggle with anxiety and depression and it can really suck at times. I vent a little to the bf and he said he doesn't mind as long as it helps but I get worried that I'll do it too much and drive him crazy. Maybe that's just the low self-esteem talking...