Have you ever fallen in love with someone while on vacation on the other side of the world? It wasn't supposed to happen. You were only supposed to have fun, party, maybe mingle a little here, flirt a little there...
Then it happens. You just meet the right person. That person you weren't really looking for, nay- more like hoping you wouldn't meet, because this isn't really you're permanent homeland. Did you follow your heart? Did you go with the progress? Allowing yourself to fall a little bit deeper each time you saw him or saw her, but simultaneously allowing yourself to break your heart, realizing that you'd have to leave in a month? Sooner than you know, you're thinking the same thing, but with the decrease of time of stay. You love him/her even more today, but you're leaving in two weeks. At your next encounter, same thing, but you're leaving in three days. The next time, same thing: you love him but your flight leaves in four hours.
Let's say you did let your heart feel that excruciatingly painful love for the past two or three months that you've been there. Then you leave. What happens? Do you still love them as much in a month? Half a year? One year without seeing them? Did you make promises to each other? Is it really that easy? Do you lay awake in your bed every night, trying not to forget his or her face? Do you worry that he/she will go and find someone else? Do you keep in contact? Or do you keep yourself from adding him or her, calling him or her because it's getting even more painful for you to deal with.
From my experience, nothing changes after you leave - you go on with your lives, pretending your heart was never touched in the most profound and beautiful and painful way possible. The promises we made, the time we spent, the dreams we shared, it all becomes irrelevant. Everyday I wish that he would come here, or I could go back. Next year, next year, next year is never soon enough. Or it doesn't end up happening.
This is my closure. This is my final entry about him. I hope that he lives his life to the fullest, and that he stops drinking so much or riding his friend's motorcycle so recklessly. I hope that he takes care of himself. I also hope he finds the love of his live, where she's accessible to him everyday. Honestly, I can't bring myself to. I won't be the one to make him happy. So this is goodbye. It's almost been a whole year, and even though I'll probably still think about him for a long while after this, I'm ready to release him from my heart.
But every time, I can't help wondering: Am I do the right thing? What would you guys have done? Has this ever happened to you?
Recommend
Comments (25)
that's sad ;__; well, i suppose if you subscribe to the saying "whatever is meant to be will always find a way" then maybe one of these days. but in the meantime, yes, it's better that you let go. who knows, maybe the greatest love is someone that is close to you even now. all the best!
Yes, it has happened. I feel your pain. I probably have not experienced your situation to the same extent, but I've been through it. It hurts, it sucks, and you become a reckless green monster full of jealousy and rage!! I think what's worse is if you've been that fortunate to find someone overseas or on vacation, you keep looking for it every time you travel. It makes it worse because I feel it molds you into a very hopeful person, since every encounter could be better than the last. Or: oh, he could be the one I was looking for...
And so, every time I go somewhere new, even though the period of time I knew him was short, I always get attached and fantasize. It's a horrible cycle...This is beautiful.
Best of luck.Yes to most of your questions, is it easy? No way. Heartbreak is so painful that no words can really describe the pain that us humans go through when we have loved and lost. But that's life. I was with my ex-boyfriend for a year and a half, he was my first love. We broke up a month ago but we are still in contact.... we just can't seem to let go of each other. I feel sad for you, I also had a summer romance a few years ago, but you know the cliché saying 'time heals all wounds'... and it's true. There is no time limit, so those who have said 'it's been a year now, get over it' clearly have not loved and lost. We're glad this is your closure now. I wish you all the best.
Ugh! You poor thing! You'll feel better in time, take care.
it'll be ok you'll meet someone else and forget.
I feel your pain. I hope your heart will heal. Best of luck.
I know how it feels.
yes, been in the same exact situation.
yes, we do have a promise, we did meet over the summer, and he left, went back to his homeland before the summer was even over, it had been more than half a year since the last time i saw him, its hard,., we knew we wont see each other in another, we didnt wanna give up either, and so we managed to keep this summer romance thing going, im seeing him in just a few months, and this time, hes staying in new york with me, hes not going back..
i know how you feeel... best of luck!
I've never got the summer love bug before. It normally takes quite a while for my lust (which is forgettable) to turn into love. I did have a succession of summers where the same guy would come back from college and I would look forward to a couple weeks of hot nasty sex- but it was never anything more :/ It's just my black heart.
Aw, this is sad but I am happy for you that you have realized that you need some type of closure. Some people hold on to things for too long and miss out on what could be right near them. So, my advice would be to let go and live your life :) If it's meant to be, it'll happen !
I've never been in such a situation, but I think that letting go is probably the best thing you can do right now.
Good luck.
This past summer, I met someone that I fell hard and fast for. We only knew each other for six weeks, but I felt like he was the best kind of man because he was everything I wanted to be one day, and everything I wanted in a significant other. I didn't fall in love with him, but I did have a crush on him. Nothing ever really developed. We have been emailing each other, but it's been six months, and we live on opposite sides of the world (Spain and Hawaii). My feelings for him have diminished and now we're just friends. If I were to see and spend time with him again, maybe that will change, but who knows?
Best of luck to you! That old tired cliché, that time heals all wounds... It's true, you know.
shalom
I can relate to what you're going through. I followed my heart and we continued it on since we both go to the same school. It didn't last very long, our "intimate" relationship because of the "circumstances" that I'm in. It was out of my control but I gave my whole heart and even the one reserved to take care of myself-- my whole heart. Though he broke up with me, I continued to follow my heart and loved him, cared for him, did my best to please him but in the end, I only got hurt even more and now it's almost impossible to see the future of me getting over him. I miss him all the time, think of him all the time. It's like, as soon as I'm laughing and finally feeling better, there's this dark cloud over my head that rumbles and I'm back to yearning for him, wishing I could at least hear his voice. I have that temptation to just go to his house to see him and hug him one last time, but it just hurts. I followed my heart until bam, the hurt's just too much. I still love him and love him... from afar. Time heals all wounds - so they say and yes maybe or no maybe. It all depends on you. All I want to share with you is that you're not alone and I know that this will make you stronger. I'm so glad that I stumbled across your blog because I've been so lonely at night, always wondering what he's doing and I just hate the feeling of "feeling" so alone as I hit my head against the pillow for the night-- every night. :(
I wanted to make it work. I was willing to make it work... but he didn't want to. It breaks my heart and now I'm still following my heart. I still love him so I'm going to keep doing that, but the trade-off is this: heart-break. It's hard to love someone who doesn't love you anymore (in my case) but I love him. I follow my heart so that there are no regrets...
.... no regrets.
This has happened to me. In my case, wouldn't call it love though but he was special to me. In retrospect I think you maintain that soft spot for someone who was a summer love because all you have is good memories with them. I mean with other past relationships, they are "past relationships" for a reason. With this all you have experienced were the perfect moments and you are left wondering forever about what could have been.
Maybe thats just what I like to tell myself though because its less painful than believing they were the one but you didn't have the chance to make it work.
Yes... you have to let it go or it will destroy you... Mine I liked for six months before he noticed me the last day of school and it became a summer romance.. until he got offered a full scholarship for football at iowa... Guess things like that happen for a reason, but it took half a year to realize he wasn't the one... for me. Because it ruined every relationship I tried to get in, comparing them to him-- doesn't work!
The best of luck to you, it's easier said than done... and a piece of advice- usually he's right in front of you. =)
I think a lot of girls mistake a summer fling (or a vacation/foreign country/abroad fling) as "love" but what it really is is infatuation bolstered by the fact that "it will end soon so make the best of it."
Two weeks, two months, are not that long of a time period to really get to know someone. Even you yourself probably weren't acting yourself either but instead were on your best behavior.
Give it time, you'll grow out of it.
Sorry I can't muster any more sympathy for your situation, but then again... I'm much more occupied consoling people who actually formed serious attachments and now are nursing a truly broken heart.
I haven't experienced this, but what's meant to be will be. Maybe you'll visit him and you'll find that your feelings haven't changed after all and you work it out. Or maybe he was only placed in your life for you to experience how a strong love feels so you don't settle for less.
I hope you find the peace you're looking for.
i know what you mean and made the same choice about a year ago. and i wish you the best of luck.
This blog makes me sad.
been there done that. it sux X.X
@tigerdauphin@xanga - I will give it time. I do agree on a lot of the things you say. I wasn't really expecting consolement from you, but really just your opinion on it, so actually thank you for that. But I think people can fall in love in two months. I agree - many times it will be kind blind and misleading, and perhaps that might have been the situation for me, but I think it's possible if it was two compatible people (:
@mizsjessyx3@xanga - best of luck!
for now its probably best if you both move on. maybe one day you will cross paths again. what will be, will be