1. "
I swear, I'm gonna break up with him, he doesn't do anything for me, he's always going out with his friends, I'm like so sick of him"
But she stays with him, because she doesn't want to feel loneliness.
2. "
She's always getting mad, I do everything for her, I take her out, I buy her things, I'm nice to her, that girl is such a brat, I'm getting tired of this chick"
But he stays with her, because he doesn't want to be lonely.
How afraid are we of being alone? Are we honestly willing to sacrifice our own happiness to be in a relationship just to have company? To be with someone just so you could proof that you can get a girlfriend/boyfriend? Relationships are a lie. I don't believe in them anymore. There is absolutely no point in a relationship. And here are my reasons why:
For me, a relationship is a way of saying "
Let's go out, because you like me, I like you, and if we stay single we will get with other people and since we don't trust each other enough to know that we won't do that to one another, let's go out so the world could know that we are together" or "
I just want to have fun with you, either way a relationship is breakable, if it doesn't work, we can get into a huge fight and forget we ever existed".
Yes, I know, I might sound like a depressing emo freak that doesn't believe in love but before you start judging me, let me finish!
Yes, I will not go out with anyone, because I don't believe in relationships any longer but I believe in love. I want to fall in love with someone one day, and keep such a strong friendship, such an incredible bond, that we won't need something to label us, that we both know deep in our hearts that there's no one better for us than each other. To trust in one another and know that our love is so crazily strong that there's nothing that can get in between us two. And once I feel that way, I'll automatically marry that person. Why go out? Why waste time? Maybe your thinking, "
I'm too young", well let me tell you this, you are never too young to love! Why wouldn't you want to spend the rest of your life with the person that you are completely in love with? You might say, "
Well I'm afraid of marriage", trust me, when you finally find the one person you love, you won't be afraid of anything that will unite the both of you. There are no excuses of why you can't take it to the
TOP level.
The truth? It's that people hate commitment and they love to have fun. Why get married now? I want to go out and experience the world right? And then we complain about getting into a relationships that only leaves us empty and bitter at the end. That's not all, but we are also selfish. We do
NOT want to see the person we like with somebody else, oh no, we
HAVE to have them, and that's why we want them so bad.
Honestly guys, I'm tired of your complains, of yours "
I can't take this" and then
continuing it. I'm tired of your "
I love you's" but
not showing it. But most of all I'm tired of people making
loneliness the main reason to stay with someone. We are better then that, we are born as individuals, and we need to be patient when it comes on loving someone. We can't keep throwing our hearts down on danger zones. We need to find the person worth our all, build a friendship, and love with all your being, soul, and body. If not, than stay single, have fun but don't complain about getting heartbroken at the end. All I can say is, don't settle for the first thing you find, don't let the fear of loneliness take control over your decisions. I learned it, and so can you!
Much luck.
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Comments (73)
People complain. People say things out of anger. People get frustrated. It's a fact of life. But you know what else? People get over it.
Everyone has the right to vent about the things they don't like about their relationship. If you don't want to hear it, you've come to the wrong place. Relationships are about looking past what bothers you and growing closer and developing love. Love doesn't happen overnight and relationships take work, whether you believe it or not.
I disagree that relationships only leave you bitter at the end. Obviously yeah, you're right, sometimes (most of the time) relationships don't end up well, but every relationship I've been in has taught me something, and the good times usually outnumber the bad.
I know exactly how you feel in relation to people's constant complaints and habit of always going back, it is very annoying indeed.
As far as your idea of how love works, we'll have to agree to disagree. I'm pretty sure love is a relative thing, and if that works for you (which I hope it does!) then good luck! =)
Personally, I like dating. I'm not interested in a relationship right now, but it's still fun to have someone to go out and do things with, or stay in and do things with.
love it.
@TheRealMelanie@xanga - so true
even if you're in the perfect relationship there's always going to be things you can work on, but you stick with them because it's worth it
I think going out is a very good way to find out if he/she is potentially.. that lover you seek for.
While I don't agree with everything you said I do agree with this quote of yours ..."I want to fall in love with someone one day, and keep such a strong friendship, such an incredible bond, that we won't need something to label us, that we both know deep in our hearts that there's no one better for us than each other.".....if you are happy with someone you don't need to label it at all...you don't need to have the whole world know or need to care what the world thinks...what matters is that you know what the person means to you...that is enough truly.
I think relationshipa could bring you to love and maybe marriage if your committed to it and you truly love that person. During that time you learn who they really are and learn to accept their flaws. I've watched my best friend go through numerous relationships. He would always brag about it at first but by the end he would be complaining non stop and end up cheating on them. I understand what you mean though when you say that some people are only in relationships to not be lonely. I have watched a lot of my friends do this.
Maybe you should read my blog. Lol. You'll be surprised that there's other people out there like you.
I agree that we shouldn't stay in a relationship just because we're afraid of being alone. As for love - not every type of love is meant to last forever. People change, and not everything stays the same. The older you get, the more you'll realise that you can never been sure of anything. Not even when it comes to feelings, and love. Definitely not about the future, and whether something will last.
That's their relationship. Love is a relationship. You don't look for it. Just let it come. People are trying to find themselves whether in relationships or not. In the end they all learn from it. It's annoying but you know what everybody goes through it. It's like closure for themselves. Love is indescribable. heck I've met my bf in one day and i felt like I've known for years. sure we have our ups and downs you know but that doesn't stop me from loving him and wanting to be with him and the same goes for him. there's chemistry. We've been together for three years now!! I know that only happens to one in a million. I can't describe it. There's chemistry. it's just something you would have to feel to understand that connection.
Honestly.
If you're happy in the relationship and he's happy. stay. If you're not . leave. doesn't matter if he's happy with you or not cause if you're not happy being with him, he would soon find himself to be very unhappy. So leave for your sake of happiness.
That's all there is to it.
To be truely happy. You would have to discover that for yourself as of what ideal man or women would make you feel that way. That's why there's relationships.
If you keep on meeting the same people that you don't want to meet. then there's just something wrong there isn't it?
I agree with this post. My own standards may not be completely compatible with yours, but not leaning towards relationships. Infact, I don't believe this opinion works for everyone. As for me, the perfect relationship allows each other to be connected to each other and committed in every aspect but physically. I think (not with everyone, just with me and if it works for anyone else) that people shouldn't have to fuck each other for the rest of eternity. That way you don't have to worry about cheating and other things, a lot less stressful.
i agree to some extent. i don't like labels anymore. too much pressure and broken promises.
but me and my ex aren't bitter. it was fine. a break up is a break up. it's as simple as that. and even the guys i've 'seen' - when we stop seeing each other its the same thing as a breakup..
I think this sounds a little naive and immature.
I am 18, getting ready to graduate. And I completely agree, that at my age, there is no point in relationships. High school relationships do nothing but cause unneeded drama. I will admit, there are high school sweethearts who do work out here and there, but over all, teenagers are not ready or mature enough to deal with the complexities of a real relationship. At this point, i am looking to enjoy what the world offers, and maybe someday, when i am enjoying the world, i will find the love of my life and settle down, but until then, i am not going to go out there and look far and wide. When its meant to happen, it will.
maybe they stick with the person because they value the person's strengths over the person's bad parts
i agree... a lot of people just stay in a relationship where they complain about being so miserable, yet don't get out of it because there scared of being alone. just makes me think that people are so weak.
@imanotakuareu@xanga - Agreed.
I'm half and half with this blog.
im not a fan of relationships either. in fact, i recently purposely friend-zoned myself and broke it off with this guy that had great potential, because i truly, honestly, do not want a boyfriend. it's kind of sad sometimes, but i'm just looking out for myself. im happy single.
I am in a relationship but it is by no means ordinary I love the guy but I refuse to label it? Why should I ? The only people I say he's my boyfriend to is my parents because they are old fashioned and don't understand my way of thinking :) He is like my bestfriend who I happen to be in love with..
@BlehhItsTu@xanga - I agree with you.
I have a friend who refuses to date mainly because to him dating is only a means to one end, and that end is marriage. Thus, he doesn't want to date anyone unless it's the person whom he eventually will marry. But, I say, how are you supposed to know that you want to marry them without ever dating to find out what you want/need in an SO? Sure, you can be friends with a person, even incredibly close "best friends" and all, and believe you've fallen in love with them. But once you start acting on that love, you might find out all sorts of things that you didn't/can't ever expect or predict beforehand (with regard to both yourself and your SO.)
I think it would just be imprudent to rush into a marriage like that, and throw all caution to the wind.
I absolutely agree with everything you wrote. Being a "girlfriend" is a trap! <3 XOXXO
This sounds like a weak and bitter attempt at originality. I'm sure once you find yourself happily taken you'll switch this around. Big surprise.
@YossariansWingman@xanga -
I agree that wIth relationships and dating, you grow and learn and soak in a lot of different opinions and ways to care for others.
On a personal note, if you really love someone and they really love you back, things fall into place and work out on their own. RELATIONship. Think about it!
@wannaBmyLuver@xanga - How do you think people gain relationship experience? They start young.
Being mature is only half of the equation when it comes to relationships. You won't know what you want until you see what you don't want. And you won't know how to handle relationships if you've never been in one.
agree with not falling for the first person you see because of loneliness, but totally disagree with the idea of not dating. I like going on dates, getting to know someone, falling in love