My grandma always told me that you owe the person you are with your best-self. Meaning your best-self on every level. This includes, being the healthiest person you can be, always looking your best, being clean, doing nice things for this person, not taking out your bad mood on your SO, and so on.
Everyone is going to have their days where they are laying around on the coach and relaxing. From time to time, you will be so sick you can’t even think. On most days though, I feel a person should always look their best for who they are with . This does not mean their SO doesn’t love them with messy hair and sweat pants, but the initial action of looking your best for your SO sends the simple message that you care for not only them, but yourself too, and that means a lot. Even, if you are going to be sitting around in sweats all day, it doesn’t hurt to still shower, comb your hair, and smell good. Believe me, your SO will notice your efforts and appreciate them.
A nice clean place to hangout at or a nice clean car, just seems to make everyone more comfortable and in a better mood. When there is no clutter around, your mind will tend not be so cluttered. Even if you or your SO is not the most organized person, a little cleanliness never hurt anyone, and again the efforts you make will mean something.
You may be totally in love with someone who has completely different interests than you. You may be a coach potato and they may love long hikes. Although it’s nice to do things that make you happy, you should also, do things with your SO just for the simple fact that is gives them happiness.
What do you think? Let me know your feelings on this, tell me your stories, anything.
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Comments (13)
If you are laying around on a coach, your SO probably isn't going to appreciate that whole cheating aspect...
I think it's important to give your SO your "best self", so yes... I agree with this post.
I would like to add, however, that it's important to also give your "worst self" -- meaning, the things you think but would rather not say, your bad moods, your frumpy days, etc.. Because, while being the best you can is good the majority of the time, it's giving both the good and the bad that makes a relationship complete.
And anyway, how can you truly appreciate someone's best if you've never seen their worst?
i love this post! each and everyday i try to give to me husband my "best self" cause i know he does too.
You should be doing those things for yourself, nobody else.
I think a lot of the things mentioned are good. I do think it's nice to remember to have good hygiene, say nice things, do nice things... At the same time, though, real relationships require balance. That means good AND bad. I think you should still confront the times in your relationship when you and your partner aren't getting along, they did something to upset you, or you really don't want to do something they want to do. It's important to stay honest to yourself, but at the same time it is nice to put aside what you would normally do and join in with your partner into something they like to do.
@TheCheshireGrins@xanga - umm okay @TJs_Lady@xanga - You are right about giving them your worst too. I should make another post about that or maybe you should. :) I do also, think an important part of a relationship, when you will honestly know if things are going to last, is when you hit a breaking point, have your first big fight, get really sick, hit a low point...anything to make your SO see that side of you..your worst side. I have been through some of the worst things with my boyfriend, but we have pulled through and are stronger now...so I know its a real, lasting relationship. Thanks for commenting,.
@emptypersonas@xanga - Of course you should be best for yourself, but if you are with someone what's the point of them being in a relationship with you if they can't enjoy and cherish you and every part, such as you should yourself?
@suggestivetongue@xanga - You have basically the same point as,@TJs_Lady@xanga andi agree with you both.
I think I'll do that post tonight. :D
@roxybabe1623@xanga - People will WANT to be with you because you're doing it for yourself. You wouldn't have to do it for someone else because you're already doing it.
@TheCheshireGrins@xanga - lol.
They say that if someone can't handle you at your worst they don't deserve to see you at your best. I agree with this more than anything.
You'll never be perfect every single day. And if you really do care about yourself, sometimes allowing yourself to express the negative feelings (being a bum for a day for example) is more important than what your significant other thinks about you that day. And a good significant other will see the REAL efforts that you're making outside of dressing up or never bothering them when they're trying to relax.
My SO has seen me at my worst and his feelings didn't change. Nor does it mean that I love him less nor myself less. He appreciates more so the fact that I'm there for him and that I love him than whether or not I curled my hair that day.
My best self is on the inside, not the outside.
Plus I'm always showing my best self on the outside whether I'm single or in a relationship. Why start when you're dating someone??
I generally agree
the best-self should be a constant. yeah, we all have our bad days, but i think it's important to take care of oneself all the time; i don't think we should be the best specifically for another person. i mean, if we all take care of ourselves and are respectable, pleasant, clean(..hehe..) people, that shouldn't a second thought. it shouldn't take effort. being nice and doing nice things for one's SO is a different matter.
That's a great point. Give your best-self to others. That's a great motto and attitude. Your grandma sounds like a cool lady ;)