Monday, 18 January 2010
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Thanks for the Memories
"I will never regret you or say that I wish I'd never met you,because once upon a time you were exactly what I needed."
I'm 21 years old. My relationship status has been and still remains single. But I've had my fair share of guys who I have crushed over, cried over, and "liked" to "really liked" but not quite to "loved". I can't say I've fallen madly deeply in love (like Edward Cullen and Bella Swan) or truly loved a guy in such a way, yet. I was thinking about this couple weeks ago and I came to realize that every guy I liked... not the little crushes or "hot guys" whom I admired from afar, but the ones who I actually really liked (which I might add, isn't a large number) I don't regret it. I say I do all the time. When I'm talking to my girl friends I say I hate them and that I hate them again, and I hate them and that I wasted my life on him and my tears and my thoughts and wasted ever liking them. But I don't. There was obviously a reason why I liked each and every one of them.
That's why when I saw that quote, it finally compelled me to write an entry on this...as I have been wanting to, I just didn't know how to start. Of course when I think about the past and the memories, I get sad and I wish time didn't change things but it's ok. There must have been a reason that boy touched my heart in such a way that I liked him a little more than any of my other guy friends. And there is. For each one of them. To be frank, I wish I had the guts to just tell them why I liked them. But I don't so that's the end of that.
Anyways, I'm not sorry or hateful, maybe a bit bitter, I am still a human after all, that I've liked any one of them. Jerk, asshole, dickhead, etc. God put you in my life at one point for a reason and something came out of it despite the fact a "boyfriend" did not come out of it. I know that when the right one comes along, I'm going to be the strongest person I can ever be, thanks to all these unfortunate and single-sided 'loves.' That took a lot of my pride writing 'single-sided' but I learned from my situations, from watching my friends and their relationship problems, that pride is useless when it comes to relationships and love.
I'm not regretful. I liked each one of you for a good reason. You were at some point a good and happy part of my life that made me smile. Thank you :)
"people continue to love in spite of the tears and heartbreaks,it is because the pain made them stronger, the tears made them braver, and the heart-breakers made them wiser..."
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- From: DoRi_dOrI@xanga
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Comments (43)
errr...I've sort of felt this way...kinda...
I have a boyfriend who I've been with for almost 5 years now...I was with him all through high school, and during my senior year when I was writing my senior wright up for the yearbook I thanked my boyfriend in it...I remember multiple people telling me that If we ever broke up I would regret writing about him.
My rely was always "If we ever do break up, even if its on the very worst of terms, he was one of the biggest parts of my life throughout high school. So no, I will never regret it, hes part of what made me who I am."
So yeah...kinda sorta know what your saying...
Also Ive always loved that quote at the beginning of this blog
I also love the quote at the beginning. I can relate to it, so much.
I will never regret you or say that I wish I'd never met you,because once upon a time you were exactly what I needed." - "its lovely quote and i like it much!
"I will never regret you or say that I wish I'd never met you,because once upon a time you were exactly what I needed." . I agree with your quote , never regret anything or anyone that brought you happiness or made you smile
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i really loved the quote at the beginning~ and i have to agree with it, because that special someone from before at least brought happiness to your life and every moment of it, is so memorable.
I'd never regret any of the relationships I've been in or any of the crushes I've had. Each of those experiences has helped shape me into the person I am - and that's a person I wouldn't change for anything in the world.
"When I'm talking to my girl friends I say I hate them and that I hate them again, and I hate them and that I wasted my life on him and my tears and my thoughts and wasted ever liking them. But I don't."
I've never hated any of them either. Sure, they did things that made me upset, things that pissed me off, things that threw my entire world upside-down...but I never have (and never will) hate any of them. The fact that they had enough impact in my life to make me feel devastated and elated is enough to convince me that they were worth all the time and effort.
It's a fresh way of looking at the past. What you may have wanted or needed when you were 15 is not the same as what you need when you're 30.
(:
Great quotes! I've never hated (nor "hated) any past crushes and such, but neither have I thought of it that way... that they were in my life for a good reason at one time.
Perhaps I am a little cynical, but I do not agree with this statement.
Yes, it is true that at one point in time with any relationship, there might have been a moment where the guy was exactly what you needed, but does that moment cancel out everything else in the relationship?
No.
There are definitely relationships that I regret. I'm not saying that I didn't learn anything from those relationships; I'm just saying that the negatives far outweighed the positives and waxing nostalgic about them isn't going to make me feel better about the emotional scars I still carry.
I'm sorry, your perspective just seems a touch idealistic and naive. To bring up a rather un-PC example (sorry if I step on anyone's proverbial toes), the Holocaust taught the world that genocide was probably a bad idea, but that doesn't mean that it should have happened so that we could learn from the damage.
Especially when you don't learn. Especially when you end up making the same mistake over and over again, when you keep falling for the same type of guy over and over again. Then it just makes you look like an idiot with poor taste :/
I'm sorry, but I stopped reading after the Twilight reference.
i like that quote x
i agree! and each person teaches you what to look for/avoid next time. i still have a soft spot for most of my past crushes/boyfriends. tru fax.
i agree. i've only dated one guy and been in a relationship with him. i feel that i've learned so much - about the world, about him, about me.
This post makes me miss him :(
YES!
I've never had a boyfriend (I'm 20), and I've crushed on several of my best guy friends. Don't regret it, though. Don't regret the tears, and the thoughts, and the dreams. Because they were (and are) exactly what I needed at the time. One made me feel beautiful and interesting throughout the awkward years, when I really, really needed to just be liked for being me. Another has been the sole reason I didn't give up entirely on loving people.
When it comes down to it, they've been my best friends, first and foremost. Anything else, any feeling that might develop, any anything, that was secondary. You don't regret having a best friend. Ever.
What if my first love was an emotionally manipulative and abusive guy who literally made me cry probably 5-15 times each month and then took my virginity when he forced himself inside me before I knew what he was doing?
I thought at the time that he was a good person and that we had a healthy relationship.
It sickens me now to think that I at one point ever thought that that abusive relationship was what I deserved. I want my virginity back. I want three years back.
@InTheThin@xanga - been there. for some people, it's all about their pride without any reasonable compromise. even if you consistantly lower your standards to fit what they'd be willing do with countless others (before during and after your relationship), selfishness has no end with some people. stop caring and take them down a peg if you can.
@monke_man - also, let people dig themselves out of the holes they create.
I'm exactly like you, age, status, and all. But I haven't seen that quote till now. So thanks :) This was what I needed.
Cheers to us! :)
it's strange how this is exactly what i feel right now. it's pretty much what i'm going through. it saddens me to think that so much can change in just a matter of days...but with anything, no matter how painful, there is always something that we must take with us...it's hard to say that you'll never have regrets, but i think a strong person realizes what they needed at that time to be able to thank the other individual for what they were in their life. it's a tough one folks.
I completely agree. I think I wrote something on this once.
I remember a friend telling me once that the line "he wasn't right for you" wasn't true. She thinks that in that moment, they were right for you...to teach you something, to help you experience something...all so that you would be ready for the person you were to end up with. I like her philosophy :)
What is that quote from?