I recently read a blog entry that really got my fire burning and made me wonder...What is society coming to? In today's time, less virgin teens are arising and they are becoming younger and younger. I believe that sex is something to be valued and done with someone you love and treasure not a simple act in which you only take pleasure off of. In today's world, I am surrounded by pregnant students some of which aren't together with the father or do not really feel any deep affection for them. It's crazy!
I say when it comes to having sex especially for the first time it should be an intimate act in which both of you take the time show your love. But because people only care about being popular or peer pressure that sad dream is lost. And who do you have to blame? Rappers, singers, movies, shows, fashion...society? Lets start with the basics.
What do people listen to everyday? Music! What is the most popular topic to sing about in today's music? SEX! It's all about sex with the rare occasion of the beautiful love song. So if we all are listening to songs in which advertise sex what do you think will happen? More teens will think that if you have sex you're cool and it's a sin to be a virgin if your 16!
OK, now lets look as fashion! Why is it that I see more and more girls with shorter skirts? Since when does someone have to walk out the door half naked in order to be considered sexy? It's ok to show a little something but more and more people are abusing that right and wearing not only the shortest clothing they can find but also the most revealing tops! Slutty is never sexy and no man wants a girlfriend that other man will want to screw! Now if you want to just be screwed like a playboy bunny then be my guest and dress like a whore, but with the exception of a few most girls just want attention and society has taught them that if you want to be noticed you have to look like this...
So naturally us young teens will want the attention models like the one above receive and what most don't realize is that they are getting the wrong kind of attention. They are sending out the message that " I am easy", "I am a whore." and that's not what we want. We just want people to think that we are sexy! Society ruins the teen lifestyle and are ion fact making them more sexual without realizing it. Companies especially fashion companies advertise sex! Look at the ad below:
Sneakers? Are you serious? They will show people this very obvious sexual ad in hopes that you will buy sketchers because if you wear sketchers "you will look as sexy as her." That is what they are hoping and our brains automatically make their hopes true. What ever happened to decency and modesty? And the sad thing is you cant only blame the companies, but the women who model for them as well.
In this world where sex dominates, there's no room for romantic things like love. If you make a poll of who lost their virginity to the person they were in love with and believed they would spend their life with that person I will guarantee that at least 75% will say no because waiting for love isn't as popular as doing it at a party or with a person you barely even know. Ask another poll did you have sex before you were 16? 65% will say yes. It scares me to know what will be the youngest number.
Girls I have a very special message for you: Virginity is a treasure you can never give to anyone else, value it and give it away to the most special person in your life and do it when YOU are ready not when HE is ready. And remember you don't need to look like a whore to be sexy or beautiful.
Do you agree with this article? And have you been victim to sexual ads and peer pressure?
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Comments (115)
Hm this focuses solely on putting only female virginity on a pedestal.
What I think would have actually helped me make the decision to lose my virginity (well...it wasn't really my decision) was reading that post "Do you regret the way you lost your virginity?"
So many people had so many stories. I wish I had read more things like that before I made the idiotic decision to agree to sex after my then-boyfriend kind of forced himself into me when I wasn't expecting it.
must we really blame the media and companies for all of our problems?
i defiantly agree with the fact that society is pushing sex too hard into everything, whether its advertisement, music, tv, movies, or magazines. i mean the main focus of most of the tv shows anymore is sex. and people can go "oh well if you dont want to watch it and you dont want your kids watching it then simply turn it off." well thats all fine and dandy while you're in your home, but what about when you walk out of your home and its everywhere? then what? well if you dont want to see it then dont go out of your home? dont let your kids go out of your home? then whats next? dont turn on the radio? where is the line drawn?!
and people can also claim that all these tv shows focused on sex dont influence kids because "they know its not reality, its just a show" but seriously, then why with more and more sex shows is society becoming more and more obsessed with it? there has to be some correlation. or maybe society is becoming obsessed with sex on its own and the media is only trying to keep up with us, in which case they're not helping the situation, they're only fueling the dangerous fire.
@softaswater@xanga - I agree.
Every era of human society has been sex-crazed. We just hear people whine about it all the time.
@softaswater@xanga - I agree, we have to take at least some of the responsibility for our own damn problems.
@softaswater@xanga - I also agree.
i have another issue. what exactly makes boy's virginity less important. are guys not equally pressured to want and have sex?
"do it when YOU are ready not when HE is ready."i was ready to have sex before my boyfriend was.we are not, as women, oppressed.hush up.i see just as many im waiting blogs as i do im not waiting
way to perpetuate the virgin/whore dichotomy. Yes, we should value our sexuality, but the "your virginity is the best gift you could give" argument is pretty horrifying to me. It oppresses us to put our virginity on a pedestal like that, there's more to us as human beings, come on! And what about guys and their virginity?
It's their choice whether or not they want to lose it. If you value your virginity, then by all means, preserve it. If someone else decides not to, then they should have the right to decide on their own about it.
@Coke0@xanga - i could not agree more.
@softaswater@xanga - I agree with you. The media promotes those kinds of images because that is what WE (the consumers) respond to. If we were drawn to something else such as less scantily clad images, then perhaps the media would show less "sexy" advertisments.
NEWS FLASH: people already have been having sex as teenagers even before Jesus's time. Lifespan ends at age 30? Sexual organs kicking in in early teens? You betcha its gonna happen when teenagers are young. Why do you think people back then married at age 14?
This article also focuses too much on women being kept "pure". Why not tell the guys to stop lusting women and treating them as objects? That is NOWHERE found in the article. Why can't women just wear sexy clothes because they like wearing sexy clothes without people labeling themselves sluts? Sometimes I just want to wear a really cute short skirt but I feel like I can't because people are going to go around labeling everybody when they know NOTHING.
What I would like to say is that sex is DIFFERENT for everyone. It used to be an action that promotes the spreading of genes onto the future. Now if you slap on a Christian's view on it, it's all about falling in love and having sex with someone you only love. It's a lovely thought, but not everyone swings this way. Why can't people just enjoy their bodies? Not everyone is a Christian. Not everyone who has sex plans on having a baby. What is SO wrong about doing things with your body that makes you feel good? (that is, if you be safe about it)
Also, "virginity" is such a man made concept, it's ridiculous. What if your hymen breaks during horse back riding? What if you've only ever had anal sex? What if you have sex only with a lesbian but with no actual penis penetration? Where do you draw the line?
Sure sex is everywhere through the prevalence of the media.. but to be honest, sex has been rampant since the dawn of time (well since we were around) and only now we're not hush hush about it.
I disagree, in some ways. I think that the way sexuality is often portrayed in the media is inaccurate and maybe detrimental.
But you described what sexuality is for you, and while that's fine I don't think you should assume that's the way sexuality is supposed to be. Sex has no inherent meaning (except maybe reproduction, but in producing effective birth control we've removed that inherent meaning). What it means is what the individuals make of it. It could very well be a great sharing of intimacy, or it could just be fun--or whatever. What it MEANS is up to the people in the act.
But what does that mean in a practical sense? Well, girls and boys need to sit down and think about what sex means to them. It means that facets should be open where they can learn from other people's experiences. The media is one outlet for this, and in it's current incarnation certainly imperfect. Books, parents--I don't need to give you the list of other places people learn about sexuality. But I do think there is a growing movement to accept and share stories of diverse sexualities (I'm not just talking gender preferences here.) It doesn't have to be pornographic or vulgar.
Here is something I do have issue with: This fetishization of the first time. Virginity is not a THING you give away, it is a state of being. Some people of wonderful, magical, intimate first times, and that's excellent. But this mindset that once you've given it up, that's it, magic's gone is harmful and inaccurate. This myth that the first time must be magical sets girls up for disappointment. Sex is something you learn about, get better at while you're doing it. It takes experimentation (with one person or more--either way) to figure out what you like and what works. And if sex is "meaningless" to you initially, but develops meaning and intimacy later on, that is not devalued by the fact that it used to be meaningless.
Also, what does "looking like a whore" entail? What is looking slutty? But I suppose the nudity=not perverse rant is a topic unto itself...
"In today's world, I am surrounded by pregnant students some of which
aren't together with the father or do not really feel any deep
affection for them."
This is why we need better sex ed. Regardless of whether or not you love the person you are sleeping with, it is really not hard to prevent pregnancy. Yes, it can still happen, but if you're combining oral contraceptives with condoms you are in pretty damn good shape.
End of long-ass comment: Sexuality is personal. Meaning comes from the individual. I'm not arguing that there aren't sociological factors in how we view sex, but if PersonA views sex as purely for makin' babies, PersonB thinks it's all about love and PersonC thinks it's all about orgasms, none of them are WRONG. As long as people are happy and everything is safe and consensual it doesn't matter if you have sex for the first time at 15 or 30.
I really like this essay: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/pink/an_immodest_proposal
Why just girls?
What about the male virginity?
Why is the female sexual behavior always on the defense? They're always protecting something or another.
The male on the other hand is always seen as an aggressor, as a conqueror.
You know what, I'm sick of being expected to be the reactor. I don't like waiting for the guy to make a move and for me to react to it.
Also, WTF TO THAT SNEAKER AD.
and the award for..... ah forget it.
Have you? Or have you been so fortunate and smart to find the man you love AND lose your virginity to him?
This is a generation where freedom rules and most people will take advantage of that if they have it.
I don't care that people think you're pointing this at females, it's beside the point to me. People will do as they please because they're allowed to. And that's pretty much all there is to it.
@methodElevated@xanga - I agree, too. (:
It's really not the media's fault,
it's yours for buying into it.
@astudyinemerald@xanga - agreed on everything.
How is Victoria going to advertise her new bra line..with paper bags?
What about parents? Doesn't anyone feel like parents should take a more active role in talking to their children about sex? Since we can't change what we see in the media, I think it is our responsibility to raise our children with knowledge of the reality of sex. Who cares if it's weird or awkward or not a conversation we enjoy having?
And I do agree that virginity is a great gift to give to someone (male or female). My personal view is that my body is something that I am going to keep to myself and I don't want to show it off to everyone in the world. It is a gift that I want to give to my husband on my wedding night. Props to you for stating what you believe as well. Not many people are doing that anymore.
I don't think you can blame the entire music industry for females losing their virginity.Many females hear the same songs & make different choices .What's that mean? It's means each person decides what they let influence them or not & are responsible for the choices they make
.
I just have to say that the skechers ad is highly inappropriate.