Sunday, 17 January 2010
-
I'm Abstinent; Is He Still Interested?
So this one guy and I have been talking for a few weeks now. He found me on one of those social networking sites and is a friend of a friend of mine. We hung out for a few times and it was him who initiated asking. We talk on the phone almost every night except for weekends since he is out with his friends till late.
Upon one time when we were talking about me and my last relationships, I told him that I've been practicing abstinence , then he blurted out that he couldn't imagine being in a relationship without any sexual intimacy, so I thought that was it and we would not be anything more than friends. Surprisingly, he continued on calling me every night and even asked me to hang out a few more times. The thing is that he doesn't seem to want us to be seen together by his friends or my friends (but at the same time he had no problem taking me with him to meet up with his cousin).
I've started to develop feelings for him since we click so well and I can be myself around him, plus we are quite comfortable around each other and talk about almost everything on the phone. So my question is: Do you guys think he's interested? And should I start making some kind of moves letting him know that I've developed feelings for him?
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: anonymish
- About Me: This post was submitted by a Datingish reader who wanted to remain anonymous. You can submit your own anonymous post at www.datingish.com/submit-post - just make sure you let us know you wouldn't like to have your username displayed!
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 227 Views: 0 543096 Comments: 0 13046 View all posts by anonymish
Comments (62)
How about just telling him you are interested?
make yo move girl. ;)
haha, if he's still asking you to do stuff with him, go for it. you can never be sure if he's really interested in having a relationship with you, but if he is, you've gotta give him signs. if you don't, he might become un-interested with you, or he won't become interested in you. if you put the moves on him, he'll either become interested in you, or let you know he doesn't feel that way. and then you tried.
good luck. :)
lol probably not. why are you abstinant? another guy on the side? if you're worried about pregnancy, what about oral sex? or anal? theres so many options.
honestly, this doesn't sound like it's going to work.
for one, if he can't handle you being abstinent, it's not worth it to pursue him. save yourself from being pressured and annoyed to have sex.
and for two, why wouldn't he let you arond his friends/family? that might mean he's embarrassed of you, and that's definitely not okay.
address these issues with him, tell him you want straight answers, and go from there. but just from what you tell here, it doesn't sound like it's worth the time and energy.
what do you think? when you hang out is he flirting with you or treating you as one of the guys? if you feel like hes more on the flirting end then take a chance and make some moves. but make it clear that your abstinent and thats the way its going to be. if he wont respect you then hes not worth your time anyway.
He's already told you that he doesn't want a relationship without sex. Don't expect him to change his viewpoint just because you like him. Tell him, but don't get your hopes too far up. If you two do like each other in that way, you ought to have that conversation again and evaluate from there. Feelings are just feelings...it's not necessary to act on all of them.
The fact that you can't be together around your friends is shady, btw.
@soyeahthatswhathappened@xanga - agreed
@monke_man - maybe she just chooses to be that way. is there some kind of law against it?
@soyeahthatswhathappened@xanga - you make an excellent point. but is he that flexible about your abstinance? probably not. i'd suggest pursue this cautiously, do other things. check facebook events. if he isnt flexible, but you dont want to be definite with this decision atm, do something nice at first and see where it goes. cuddle. hardcore make out sessions. handjobs. whatever.
He just wants to get inside your pants and he thinks he can get you to give in. I think he's a sleezbag and you should forget him.
In any case, a woman who is sexually pure is a lot more desireable for marriage.
if you ask me, it sounds iffy... i don't think you should make any moves, if he likes you likes you, he'll tell you how he feels, and he'll respect your abstinent view.
He doesn't sound like he really wants to be with you. Not wanting to be seen with you around his friends or your friends sounds very iffy, if you ask me.
I think you should tell him. He knows wat u think about sex n if he likes you trust me he will respect your decision...
He thinks he'll be able to get under your pants. Hence why he's still interested.
Invest in a chastity belt.
- Kunoichi
sound to me like you are both just friends and he doesn't want anything more. If you have feelings tell him you do and then cut and leave if need be. Just make sure he isn't looking at this as a conquest, you have presented him with a challenge and he may just be trying to get you to cave.
not unless you're willing to give it up
Ask him if he respects you and your beliefs, if so, then tell him how you feel. Cause if there is no respect, then you'll end up hurt. I wouldn't want that to happen to you. Be careful!
I just think you should keep your guard up. Sometimes I think that guys like girls who aren't having sex because it provides them with a challenge. Don't let him pressure you into doing something you don't want to do.
I cant really say if hes interested but i think you probably should drop a few subtle hints that way you can find out if hes interested
i think you should show him your interested, but if he really doesn't want to be in a relationship where sex isn't involved, then you shouldn't compromise your personal beliefs. If for some reason it didn't work out then it would mean he wasn't meant for you and that you will find a guy you do click with who doesn't mind waiting until you are ready to have sex.
its not going to work because he ill seem okay with it until he gets sexually frustrated in which he will try to pressure you into sex ie guilt, sweet talk, he said it all when he said he couldnt imagine a relationshsip without sex. Dont let your guard down, you can persue it but i wouldnt expect much
I'd be really cautious. Never for a second believe that he'll never pressure/press you for sex.
There are a couple of things that stood out in this situation:
The thing is that he doesn't seem to want us to be seen together by his
friends or my friends (but at the same time he had no problem taking me
with him to meet up with his cousin).
This in and of itself seems sketchy to me. If he were truly interested in you then he would be introducing you to his friends, and wanting to meet your friends. It almost sounds like you are not the only woman he is involved with. He may be seeing someone else and stringing you along too, hoping to get into your pants.
We talk on the phone almost every night except for weekends since he is out with his friends till late.
The pattern that he is establishing is not a good one. You talk to him on weeknights, he ignores you on the weekends, and he is keeping you away from his friends. It sounds like he is dating or seeing someone else in his close group of friends and he is keeping you as an "option".
Just a thought. I could be wrong and he could be feeding the homeless on weekends and working on a cure for cancer in his spare time. However, when I do the math 1 + 1 = 3.
@kawasaki_saiyan@xanga - I agree. If he really is interested in you, he'll pursue you. Right now, it just seems he sees you more of as someone to hang out with. But it's a little weird he doesn't want you around his friends... there is no reason for that. Ask him about that.
Go for it! But any guy who hides you from people he knows doesn't deserve you!