The
show about Mormon Polygamists, living in modern, Utah, suburbia. There is Bill and his three wives. A lot of people I talk to happen to not like this show, think it’s ridiculous, or they are regular, modern LDS (aka Mormons- that DO NOT practice polygamy, that is the FLDS-that’s another story though), and so they find the show offensive.
Big Love is my guilty pleasure. I am absolutely intrigued by the life-style played out on the screen. I can see how some women would be happy to be in a plural marriage, if they are not forced. (I would never choose to be in a plural marriage, for the record.) Some good points are they always have a girlfriend to talk to, they don’t have to have sex with their husband every night, they share chores, their kids will always have play mates, you always have a shopping buddy, a free babysitter, someone to help you out if something comes up, companionship, a big family, and so on. Now there are sides to this life-style that would most likely not work out so beautifully in real life, but the show does play out what could be some good points. Besides that, I happen to know a friend of mine who is in a plural marriage, in suburbia and she is happy.
I was just curious to know how many other people out there watch this show and what your view of plural marriage is. If someone, chooses to lead that life style, should it be allowed? Do you know any polygamists? Does this subject disgust you? Do you watch “ Big Love?” Are you a fan? Who is your favorite character? Let me know in the comments below.
F.Y.I. -” Big Love” comes on Sunday nights on HBO and the new season just started last Sunday.
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Comments (33)
Another show that demonstrates that sometimes a plug needs more than one outlet.
"they don’t have to have sex with their husband every night"
i feel like no one should HAVE to have sex with their husbands ever, poly or mono.
"they don't have to have sex with their husband every night"
you make it sound like a bad thing
you also make them chicks sound like they don't or wouldn't have any other friends other than the ones with whom they share a communal penis.
yum.
"Some good points are they always have a girlfriend to talk to, they don’t have to have sex with their husband every night, they share chores, their kids will always have play mates, you always have a shopping buddy, a free babysitter, someone to help you out if something comes up, companionship, a big family, and so on.
I dont really see any of these as "good" points... apparently you're idea of being married means you have no friends outside of family and you have to have sex with your husband every single night?
ehh i have no interest in being in a relationship where there's multiple people involved with one person. all i can see coming out of it is drama... which is probably why they tried to make it into a reality show. gotta capitalize on it somehow!
Can the wives be involved with each other?
lol I grew up in a town 30 minutes away from this place, and we always drove threw it on our way to another city we used to shop in. We'd see polygamists a lot, in Walmart and etc. I've also stopped in that city before for random things, and it is definitely a different culture, not to mention the couple of people I've worked with that escaped from the religion and plural marriage.
I agree, if they choose to do it, why not? But the truth is, it's mostly young girls being forced to marry older guys, and that's the sad truth about it.That's so foreign to me.
It disturbs me. I am content with my marriage relationship, with my husband that I don't have to share with anyone. I also am not a fan of cable, and HBO, is 13 bucks a month on top of the cable price not worth it.
Some good points are they always have a girlfriend to talk to, they don’t have to have sex with their husband every night, they share chores, their kids will always have play mates, you always have a shopping buddy, a free babysitter, someone to help you out if something comes up, companionship, a big family, and so on.
I think all of those are possible without being in a polygamist relationship. I personally think it's wrong and would never even consider being in that kind of relationship. However, people can do whatever they want with their lives. It's just not my cup of tea.
@AutumnShadowsQ@xanga - Loll that's an awesome question.
I'm really not for polygamy in my own life, but as long as people are happy and no one's getting hurt, I don't have an issue with it.
When it comes from a religious obligation, I have more of a problem with polygamy, although I think that my problem with it should be my problem (and thus not make it illegal). When it comes from a sincere love for all parties involved, I think it's lovely. There are polyamorists, and I don't think that we as a society have a right to deny them getting married to one another.
However, if plural marraiges are allowed, then people, especially those in one, should not be able to preach about the sanctity of marriage and thus, support equal rights. I don't know of any polygamists. I know FLDS-ers. I don't watch the show, nor do I plan to and I would definitely not consider being in one myself.
@rizzyBeautifullyBroken@xanga - Agreed, especially with the part about being able to do all of that without a polygamist relationship.
I don't have a problem if people choose to live that way, but there's no way that I could EVER do that.
i think you are only highlighting one more well known, but certainly not the only possibility, of pluralized relationships/marriages... you can have 2 guys and one girl, for example, or 2 guys 2 girls, or a girl, a guy and a genderqueer... etcetera. And I think that the "benefits" you name of the relationship have little to do with it; i highly doubt anyone gets into such a relationship thinking, "Well, this would definitely make grocery shopping a better experience in the future."
I don't think there's anything wrong with it, but i do think that pretty much any sort of relationship influenced by your culture, even if it isn't "forced," has a tendency to fail if its not what the individuals are naturally inclined towards. This goes for the larger culture in which man/woman marriages are hugely pushed, if not necessarily "forced," regardless of the makeup of the individual. If you ever meet a woman over 40 who hasn't been married yet, I guarantee a lot of people ask about her, "why hasn't she been married yet?" ...as if it's a given...
id find it offensive too, something you hold so dear to your heart [being a Latter Day Saint] and Hollywood is perpetuating a NEGATIVE stereotype about it. thats no fun, theres no need to continue blurring those lines. Id really take that series with a grain of salt, because in actuality it very hard to get the facts since it is such an exclusive community.
I do watch the show, but all I'm getting from it is that these Mormons who practice polygamy are not better than the rest of us - they cheat, they kill, they steal, etc. And you can see it in some of the women [I say some, because the show portrays equally those who feel forced and those who enjoy polygamous marriage] that they are uncomfortable with the situation or get jealous.
I think it would make an intresting show... but in real life if I think about it my reaction is ewww ick, and it makes my head turn. I know for me I wouldn't want to share my mans bed with anyone else... NO thanks
I think this show is a glamorized (at best) version of the truth, and meant to lie to the outside world about how fucked up the FLDS is. If you want to know the truth about it, I suggest you read up on personal autobiographies several women who have ESCAPED from the culture have written. They are horrifying, and true.
I don't personally approve of plural marriages, unless women can also have many husbands as well. Maybe you don't want to have sex with your husband every night, but I sure want to , and more than just every night.
It is in women's nature to be competitive and catty if they have to compete for a man, because this is in essence also a competition for resources, when our primal nature kicks in. The idea of being "friends" and sharing responsibilities is unrealistic.
i watch the show and i love it. it really opens your mind to the thing that goes on in their lives.
I think I would rather have sex with my husband every night than be stuck taking care of myself while he's doing it with one of his other wives.
What if one of them is his favorite? I think the system would just encourage competition and/or rigid hierarchy of wives (like concubine systems). I find it all very off putting and a little distasteful, it seems like a better deal for guys than gals.
I haven't heard about this show until this entry. Then again, I don't have HBO.
I have been in poyamorous relationships on and off for years, and personally I prefer them to monogamy. That's just me. Polyamory is different from polygamy however. In polyamory every one enters as a consenting adult who is aware of all the alternatives. Every one is an equal partner in the relationship.
Polygamy on the other hand is a one way street, the LDS leaders aren't treating the women as equals. they don't have the same right to go out and have a second husband. Some are forced into marriages as children. Even when they are adults, they are often women who have been raised in a very "separatist" sort of culture, and may not be fully aware of the alternatives. Nobody in polyamory will ever tell you they don't know monogamy is possible or workabe for some people. Nobody is told that if they don't accept this sort of relationship god will be angry.That is a huge difference.
That said, if the women have seen enough of secular America to know that there are plenty of alternatives and decides to enter a polygamous relationship for love or whatever reason, leave them in peace.
i think of polygamy as i think of gay marriage, if it's good for you that's fine, but it's not for me. If a group of consenting adults want to all be in a relationship together that is their choice, and just because you feel it is wrong doesn't mean you should force your beliefs on someone else.
@xGirLxWiThxAtTiTuDex@xanga - What I should have said was, women who don't have as a high of a sex drive as their husband wouldn't have to worry about pleasing him all the time. Of course, the women could/would most likely have other friends, but when you are married it's a lot different than when you were single. So if you were in a plural marriage you would always have friends there with you and it would be like always having your gfs over.
@AutumnShadowsQ@xanga - In the religion, they are not supposed to be, but I am sure it's happened. Ha