Saturday, 16 January 2010
-
Guys Have Less Emotion? More?
My friend just texted me, talking about her boyfriend. "He won't pick his phone up! urgh! I ALWAYS answer the phone when he calls! Now he just texted me and said he doesn't feel like talking. That's a bad sign, right? Is it just me, or do guys have more emotion than women?"
I thought about what she said for a while. I don't mean to offend or generalize, but previously, I was genuinely under the impression that girls were the worriers and... "affectionate" ones in a relationship, whereas the guys were more relaxed and sorta "yeah, whatever, go with the flow." Over time, though, I have realized that I was gravely mistaken.
Maybe my previous view was molded by what I saw in the movies and television, or read in the books, you know? I've been seeing relationships around me, and it seems that a lot of the time, the who-what-when-where-how, the "what if"s and the general complication comes from the guy in a relationship. I guess I should give an example, from what I have seen. Over 50% of the relationships I hear about - I am talking about my friends, here, not a brother of a mother of a high-school assistant teacher of a friend - the guy is the one who constantly worries about whether or not he is making the girl happy, or that she would do better without him. The girl, from where I stand, does what she can, and doesn't really ask questions. She knows that she is trying her best, and I (only) guess, she thinks "hey, why worry myself so?"
After thinking, I just replied to my aforementioned friend: "I agree. I always thought that girls were the worriers, but with time I have learnt that guys have the same - if not more - emotion than girls in a relationship."
Now, my question is not "so, do guys have more emotion than girls?" That's because I'm well aware that it differs from relationship to relationship, and from guy to guy (and girl to girl, blah blah blah.)
But, I ask:
Girls, did you ever think that guys had "less emotion" than girls? What about you, guys? Do you think that's unfair? In your relationships, how is the emotion balanced out?
Related Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: OhItWontBeForever@xanga
-
True
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 1 Views: 0 2401 Comments: 0 73 View all posts by OhItWontBeForever@xanga
Comments (73)
It depends on the person. I tend to attract very emotional guys.
//What about you, guys? Do you think that's unfair?//
Men and women are equally emotional beings, aside from relatively minute differences on a case-by-case basis.
The real difference manifests itself in how we express our emotions. The differences in emotional displays are largely a result of social conditioning.
In other words, when I hear a woman say guys have less emotion, I facepalm.
@QuantumStorm@xanga - I'm with this answer here.
This is a pretty obvious question. It just depends on the person. For example, my boyfriend is way more emotional than me, but so is my mom. That is just how they are. It is not contingent upon gender, rather personality.
...i think guys express emotions differently, and also because they are generally not as linguistic focused, they don't express them verbally, whereas women tend to be linguistic focused...men tend to be spatially focused, and so that's why they do...(so says my cog sci major friend =P)
it's a matter of how they're expressed I think, rather than whether they have more or less emotions...they might also have different emotions, or different emotional responses to certain things =)
Girls can't hide their emotions very well. Guys can. Most of them. For example a girl could cry just from stress or a bad day. It would take something big to reduce a guy to tears.
Guys and girls have the same amount of emotion. It varies from person to person, however, how much you see of it. You might have seen more emotional guys in your experience, but in my experience, all the guys I know won't let their emotions show. I know girls who are cry babies/attention whores, or simply really sensitive, and I know girls who hold it all it. It depends on who you are.
@tomorrow_may_rain@xanga - Well said!
When guys are serious, they do tend to show their emotions towards said woman.
The way I see it... A guy has testosterone overdose, and a woman has her times of the month, there is no escape either way no one is better than the other.
I agree with the first commenter that it depends on the individual, not the gender. But I think girls allow things to linger more than girls. After an argument we want to make up straight away and get down to rumpy rumpy, but girls like to talk things through...
http://plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/
lolz. I always enjoy this question. both of the boyfriends I've had, cry more than I do. but also go through more stress than I do, at times.
but I'm more prone to expressing my emotions than they were.
I dunno. it's not really expressed in society, so it's difficult to realize that both genders feel equally- but person to person, they express (or don't express) themselves differently.
@QuantumStorm@xanga - The best answer, and I totally agree.
The guy worries in the beginning then it switches to the girl. If you last long enough it might even switch to the guy. That's just from my own experience and what I've seen so far though.
@Takemehomee@xanga - That's actually really interesting. I have never heard or known that. I won't forget that. :) Thanks for the insight.
Most of the guys I know and myself don't like to talk about feelings and such that much, but the girls I know do, and cry more. I'm not saying I don't have friends that have not cried in my gender (male) I just never seen it. As for myself I don't open up easy to anybody. It's not there business how I feel now is it? Well thats how I am anyway.
@RedZeppelin6@xanga - I am actually the same. I would much prefer to hide my emotions because I don't feel like anybody really needs (or wants, for that matter) to know about them. :) Thanks for your comment, it made sense to me.
@QuantumStorm@xanga - I had to laugh when I read "when I hear a woman say guys have less emotion, I facepalm." I know what you mean. That makes complete sense. Any generalisation makes you wanna face-palm. It's funny, though, because a guy just told me that it's true, guys have less emotion.
Men and women have an equal amount of emotions *in general* (although there's always the girl like that me that bursts into tears over the news on TV, or the super weepy man). I'm not sure why popular society likes to say that men never cry, or they never talk, or whatever. That's never been the case with my boyfriends. They're more than happy to tell me why they're mad at me, or how I hurt their feelings, or something haha.
I think my boyfriend experiences probably 1/8 of the emotion that I experience. Part of it is probably because he doesn't overanalyze every single person and situation like I do.
Guys have emotions just like how girls do too.
You just have to look at society's higher standards and conditioning of men to be "strong". Given how times are changing, I don't see why this hasn't been pushed over to women yet.
The days of damsels in distress are soon numbered!!!
I have plenty of emotion. I just don't believe in breaking down over every little thing that happens. Also I tend to hoard negative emotions and then release it via explosions every now and then instead of venting all the time. It's just how my personality is; there's not much correlation with my gender.
The guy cares more about the girl than the girl caring about the guy ><
Thats how it is for me D;
It depends on every relationship..
I used to think that my man wasn't as emotional as I was, but then as I got to know him better I realized he truly is, but just expresses it and deals with it in general in different ways than I do. Now I know I have to focus on his actions if I want to understand what he is feeling. Little things he does around the apartment will tip me off if something is bothering him, or if he wants to talk, because god knows he will never just come right out and tell me he wants to talk about something hahha...
i'm pretty sure they're kind of the same... it just comes down to how they express it or deal with it. men often don't show emotions in apprehension of exposing vulnerability or lack of masculinity/security... women show their emotions because that's just neurologically/psychologically who we are.
@rachel_vs_theworld@xanga - It's good that you learnt the little signs because something that's the only way someone will "tell" you something. :) Thanks for the insight. It's true that people say things differently, so if we're in any sort of relationship, then it's always good to take notice of such things and learn how to understand and deal with that person.