Thursday, 14 January 2010
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Do You Regret How You Lost Your V-Card?
I don't even really like the term "v-card." I don't really like the word virginity either... shudder.
On to what matters; Do you regret how you lost it?
This post comes down to two things; do you wish you'd lost your virginity in some other way?
And also, how do you even feel about regret? Do you ever regret life experiences, or do you try to take away positive from your mistakes, and learn from what you've done?For me, I wish I'd lost mine at a later time, under better circumstances... and honestly, probably with a different person. I regretted what happened for the longest time, until I learned not to regret; but to look at everything as a learning experience. Losing my virginity how I did, taught me to never again set my morals aside for someone else. It taught me that I would rather lose someone and be alone, than to submit to them in order to keep them around. Does it suck that that's what it took to teach me that? Yeah, it really does. But I'm stronger and more cautious because of it. I can't say I wasn't stupid; but I was younger, I was less mature, I was naive, I didn't understand love, and I didn't understand when the right time to have sex was. I also didn't understand that if your instincts say no? Then you shouldn't do it.
But I've grown a lot. I grew up. I figured things out. And the relationship that this happened in, if nothing else, taught me my values and what I need to look for when it comes to dating. I now, because of this event, have so much more respect for myself, and high standards for whoever I date. Even if I'm not at all proud of how I lost my virginity, at least I can say learned a lot from it.
I'm almost glad it worked out this way, because with my current boyfriend I already had experience and some idea of what I was doing. He has only slept with one other person, just as I have (both in long term relationships) and we both agree that our first sexual relationships were quite frankly, kind of awkward, and had terrible communication. For both of us, our first sexual relationships taught us what we wanted in our later sexual relationship; and as a result, ours is so, so much better. There was never any pressure or rush in our relationship, we felt things out and did what was right at the given time for us. We were afraid of doing anything too soon, because we knew that nothing sexual was worth jeopardizing our friendship over. Our relationship never would have developed so beautifully if it hadn't been for the experiences we'd drawn on from our past partners.
Writing this is just another way to come to terms with myself, as I've done many times before. If anyone else feels a need to share their story, I encourage you to do so. Really, it helps.
(Note: I'm not a religious person, so losing it before marriage was never really a question to me, and was never ever a source of any regret or apprehension for me. For those who are religious, or those who are choosing to wait for whatever reason they decide; more power to you. I admire the strength that you have, and the endless commitment you have to the love of your life you are dating, or have yet to meet :) )
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About the Author
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- From: greenglow28@xanga
- About Me: I'm an 18 year old college student, but for god's sake, please judge me on what I have to say, and not my age or the rest of my generation.
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Comments (120)
I don't regret how I lost my virginity. It was with the nicest, gentlest guy ever [who's still with me] and it was an all-around good experience. And it didn't even hurt for me [weird, I know]!
Well, I wish it had happened another way with someone else, etc. But I don't feel bad about it anymore. I wish I had lost it to my now husband, esp. since he was a virgin when he met me (at 21). Oh well, doesn''t really matter now to me... It still bothers him a tad I think though.
I don't regret it at all. I lost it to the cutest, most wonderful guy ever.
And we're still dating. :)
The only thing I wish I could change about having sex the first time was doing it in a less pressured situation. We were youngins left alone at his house for about 2 hours and only had about an hour to get the deed done after all my initial girly protests.
Yes, I regret it. I would have never lost it to him or at all. But can't do anything to change the past. So I've learned to move on. The guy got a taste of his own medicine eventually, because that's how the world rolls. KARMA, bish.
@CHRiSTiNE_x@xanga - HAH LOVE IT
Yes I regret it because she turned out to be a bitch and she'll get hers someday, because she's going to be with a cheater. Haha, sad story.
regret is for the weak!
I don't regret it at all, I had been with the guy for about a year and a half and I'm still with him now (we've been together for almost 5 years now) I regret nothing about it. I never really regret anything in my life anyways because regret gets you nowhere and even if bad things happen you always learn from your experiences and grow from them.
Uh, sort of. I knew I was going to end up losing it after I graduated high school, but I didn't think it would happen during my first month of college to a friend of a friend I had only known for about a week. Heh, got a little flirty and next thing I knew I was on top of a washing machine ...
On the bright side, the guy has pretty much become my best friend ever since, so I'm fairly alright with how it all happened. :)
I don't regret it. I am not still dating him, not even close. It was awhile ago. But I still don't regret it. It was kind of picture perfect to tell you the truth, so I wouldn't really have it any other way other than WHO it was. I'd rather it of been someone else...seeing that I was a silly little girl thinking I was madly in love with him, and he barely cared about me at all. It happens, it's life.
I don't regret it at all. It was with a beautiful, sexy, considerate man. He was magic and very understanding. The setting couldn't have been more perfect, the candles were even lit.... he made everything amazing...
yet later i found out he was married. i made it clear i wasn't going after that, but somehow the other person being emotionally taken.. idk. she was fine with it and even suggested it, btw.
I don't really regret the person or the circumstances that I lost my virginity to, but I kinda wished we were on the same page as far as how feelings relating into sex has been concerned. We don't see sex in the same way and that's not really important but I wish I knew the difference at the time. Would that have changed my mind? I'm not sure. For me, it was a matter of how strongly I felt, but since her I have been having sex for the sake of having sex and enjoying it at a... highly decreased level :/
I guess I'm just hoping I'll find a girl that I'll feel strongly for again and have sex with for the emotion rather than the physical whatever and I'll probably enjoy it again.
EDIT: I'm not entirely sure this makes sense
@Nevando@hardestlevel - it makes sense, I totally get what you mean.
I have absolutely zero regrets about how I lost mine. We weren't using the l-word yet but I trusted him completely. It was sweet, a little awkward, but it only got better after that. I can't imagine any better way to have lost it.
As difficult as it is, I try to not regret mistakes in life. They're all there to teach us something, and it's so much healthier to be positive about it.
i don't regret it at all. yes, it was unplanned and i was young, but still it was the right person to lose it too.
he was sweet, and very understanding of everything.
then again, i don't regret anything.
I think regret helps you learn from your mistakes.
It's that sinking feeling of "What did I just do?!" that motivates you to not do it again. (Or in this case, make better choices?)
I completely regret my first time.
It was a nightmare.
But it's over. And I know to stay away from people like him.
You live, you learn. (:
Yeah. Lost it to a total douche bag.
I think I have been in denial ever since the night that it happened. I had gone through a whole yr of college...FRESHMEN and not done it. I made a vow to myself that if not wait til marriage at LEAST to someone special.
Someone who I cared about and who cared abt me just as deeply.
I was home. It was summer break. went to a party. let my guard down COMPLETELY. thought I was safe.....boy was I wrong. I got a little too drunk. Actually a little is a fucking understatment. I was fucking wasted off my ass.
He took advantage.
I dont remember the good first half.....
Do I regret it?...ehh, I dont like to say I have regrets because thats now how you should go about life. Life is one HUGE experience. You live and you learn. Each event that happened in yor life occurred for a reason. There is a purpose and explanation behind everything, good or bad, that happens to you.
This...I guess was something that had to happen for me to learn. After that night I havent allowed myself to ever get that drunk ever again. I need to be more careful with myself because the world doesnt give a fuck abt me.
It was a good lesson I learned and I am glad I learned it when I did. It could have ended a lot worse. And I guess at that time it was something I wanted to do??.....
I wish it was with someone different and later down the road. But regret the situation...eh. I dont think so.
Im better person because of it.
no i don't regret it at all. why?
I don't regret how or when or where, but I do regret with who. I don't feel bad about losing it.
uhm i dont really regret it... it was a little awkward tho.. because although she had already been with a few guys before, but i felt like i was teaching her :P aaand i felt like i was pressured into it, but i know i would have sooner or later... which is probably why i gave in
@Pcgecko85@xanga - absolutely.
I don't regret it xD We got married a couple months later...n i'm not pregnant xD Never have been n don't plan to be. We were both virgins, and he's the only guy thats ever known how to make me feel REALLY good...both emotionally and physically. Even the first time, it didn't hurt at all. It was just amazing! and it keeps getting better. We both knew we were gonna get married before we had sex. We both said we were gonna save ourselves...but that didnt really work LOL
I just noticed MOST people who don't regret it, don't regret it because they are still with the person. n most people who DO regret it, arn't with the person anymore. I'm not sure if that means they dont regret it cos the person is still around, or they broke up with the person because the sex sucked xD
Definitely don't regret when & with whom :) We waited for over a year and a couple months, and had been discussing when would be right and what it would mean for us. I'm still with him :) Our two year is in June and we're hoping to get engaged soon.
I decided as a teen that I wanted to wait until marriage, and I did. my first time was with my husband, on our .
My motto is to leave nothing to regret, and I will never regret waiting for my husband.