Thursday, 14 January 2010
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Did I Break Girl Code?
Quite frankly I think the whole notion of "girl code" is complete crap, it's just drama.
Well maybe not necessarily; I can see how it applies to close friends. However I've never had many girl friends so it never really applied to my life. But anyway, on to the situation.
My boyfriend's ex, hates me. More or less. And I honestly have never done anything wrong by her, I don't think.
For reading purposes, long story short, we were all high school acquaintances, she was terrible to him, they had a nasty break up after two and a half years of dating, I was the one who was there to pick up the pieces, etc etc.
I was the only person he had to talk to, and I came to know him so well. He has said himself that I'm the only one who has ever really taken the time to understand his thoughts and needs; I was the only one who gave him good advice and made him feel better when she tore him down. We started dating in June, after they broke up at the end of January (two years ago).
Probably no more than a week after we started dating, I learned that she had transferred colleges to try to make things work between them. Through talking to friends of hers, she apparently feels like I "stole her boyfriend." When, by the end of all this, he wanted nothing to do with her. He wouldn't have been with her again if someone paid him. The only thing I have ever held against this girl was how cruel she was to him, other than that I have no problem with her; I've never known her well enough to feel otherwise. I never felt like I needed to discuss us dating with her, because honestly not only did her feelings not matter to me at that point, but I felt no obligation to because we were barely friends; we were high school acquaintances. But now, two years after their initial break up, she hates me.
Did I really break girl code on this one? Do you believe that girl code applies to acquaintances?
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- From: greenglow28@xanga
- About Me: I'm an 18 year old college student, but for god's sake, please judge me on what I have to say, and not my age or the rest of my generation.
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Comments (72)
Nah, I agree, I think girl code only applies when friends are involved.
alright here's my story. my bf now, we were best friends in HS - we lived an hour apart, but still, we talked over email/phone all the time whenev. we were gonna go to my prom together - as JUST FRIENDS. then he started dating this girl, but he said she knew about the prom thing and was ok with it. wellp, day after prom weekend: she dumps him. he went over to her house and "patched things up" i guess, and they stayed together for about 3 miserable years (according to him), she wouldn't let him see me within that time. i was sad during that time, but i thought, what place do i have anyways? i'm just his friend, and i thought he was happy with her. but, i did hear stories from other friends throughout their whole relationship, that she was VERY controlling, jealous, insecure etc... 2 years after the whole "prom" incident he told me she found a pic of me in his room and threw a fit. (it was an old driver's license, and we had burned part of it at a party. that she was also there for!) i barely met this girl, why on earth did she hate me SO much? she never even tried to get to know me!
anyways, they too had a bit of an ugly breakup, and he wanted to hang out with me as soon as possible, even though i was going to school 3 hours away at that point. we kissed a month later and started dating. i still hear through the trees that she despises the both of us. i don't even know what to feel for her, i think i just feel bad for her. she must have a painful life :-/
@MsKittyCatty@xanga - Said it best.
@MsKittyCatty@xanga - Totally agreed. I don't see that there were any friendships involved in the situation above, with the exception of the guy and the girl being friends, in which the "girl code" should not apply unless there's some bisexuality going on... I guess. But that's a huge stretch of the imagination. :P
No. And actually, I don't follow any girl code. If someone I was interested in found my best friend to be more amusing, I'm not stopping them from getting together. It would hurt, but only because it was one-sided. Not because it's my best friend he's interested in.
No, as in there's no girl code applied to acquaintances. (:
So according to her, you two getting together almost half a year after they broke up is called stealing her boyfriend...yeah that makes sense -_-. usually that's called moving on, that's how those things work. You didn't break the girl code, his ex is just a petty bitch.
You didn't do anything wrong at all. She's just stupid and over dramatic.
No...don't worry about it girl code applies to close friends & co workers.
@Insomnia_Pickles_XtraTomato@xanga - your the girl he couldn't get over of course she's going to hate you & him now that your together. It hits home with self esteem issues.
what a drama queen. forget about her and be happy =)
I wouldn't consider it stealing, but a friend of mine did go out with my ex and I could never look at her the same. She didn't tell me at all and I only knew when she was calling out my name from afar and I saw her holding hands with him. BITCH MOVE.
girl code definitely does not apply to acquaintances...
i had my best friend go after a guy i was interested in...THAT is totally a girl code breaker...-__________-" stupid bitch.
pft.. screw girl code.. lol
no, this only applies to good friends. seems like you hardly knew the girl.
No! She's just mad b/c she wants what she can't get. Not your problem that she left him, ya know? Forget about her and be happy with your lover (:
No you didn't and no it doesn't. Had you been friends with this girl then yes you would have but since you didn't then no you did nothing wrong. In the future if you question having broken the girl code, if you know the name of the girls grandma, then don't date her ex. Which is a good rule of thumb for quite a few things. Hope this helps.
I don't believe in "code". Circumstances change, and therefore the rules change. As long as you don't do anything morally wrong, "code" should have nothing to do with it. <3
No there was no code broken, but could it be argued that you took advantage of situation. Yeah, does it matter in the long....NOPE. If the two of you are happy then that is all that matters, she will be a non-factor as the space time continum moves forward. That is unless she is a wacka-doo then hide the rabbits
@RaquelHiggins005@xanga - I mean yes, it was half a year later, but at the same time, they had been considering getting back together over summer (we started dating in June) and by the time we started dating, she had transferred colleges to try to make it work for them (so that when they started dating in summer it would continue into the school year etc)
I can see why she would hate me because I completely ruined her plans but I mean... she shouldn't have planned her life around someone she wasn't even dating.
LOL his ex is ridiculous!! no, you didn't break "girl code"
just a drama queen control freak, who wants to keep him in the back of the cupboard to pull out whenever she wants him.
@himestyle@xanga - LOL, bitter? I mean I don't blame you at all... you just made me laugh :)
oh my word, girl code NOT broken! This girl needs to move on, seriously. High school is over, the drama can be left behind. She needs to realize that he has moved on...TO OBVIOUSLY BETTER. :) Her even planning her life around someone she wasn't even dating is definitely a silly mistake on her part, especially if they weren't even talking...which you guys are and were CLEARLY together at the time. Tell her to drink more haterade and grab a teddy bear :)
Nahhh.. your good to go... Worry about you, and only you.. There is no reason to even waste your brain power on what she lost and what you obtained.. Just make your relationship work. Not hers
you didnt steal her boyfriend. and since you two are friends, it would only be right for you to break it off with him if he still had feelings for her.. but thats not the case. she needs to move on.
Girl code doesn't apply to aquaintences. Honestly, she is just truely jealous and probably wishes she never treated him horribly let alone break up with him in the first place.