Wednesday, 13 January 2010
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"Chivalry is Dead!" Because You're Killing It!
I've read my fair share of "Chivalry is dead!" and "I can open the door myself!" posts to warrant this rant.
Here goes....
STOP WHINING!
Now, why do I say this? Women, feminists most specifically, seem to love to throw both ideas around that men do not care about women ("Chivalry is dead") and that we are not helpless ("I can open the door myself")
I have to point out that these are two very hypocritical sentences. When a guy does hold a door for a girl, who says he's thinking in the back of his mind, "I MUST hold the door for this girl because she OBVIOUSLY can't do it on her own."? What if he is doing it simply out of respect, regardless of gender. The simple fact that you make it a sexist issue, makes it a sexist issue.
The more women complain about this behavior, the less men will do it and then the argument transforms into, "men don't care about women at all." Either way, when it comes to this, the guy is pretty much screwed. It's a catch-22 that there is no escape from.
Chivalry is not dead, feminists are killing it. I'm all for female power, but put your pride away for a second sometimes and realize that, maybe, its not all about you.
Let him carry a bag if he offers. Let him hold the door if he wants to. Do it for him in return in the future. Why make an issue about it and move on.
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- From: LoneDarkness@xanga
- Name: Alyssa
- About Me: "So I says to da doc- you know what I says to da doc? I says, "Say doc, I tink I have a frog in my troat," and you know what he says to me? Doc says, "what makes you tink you have a frog in your troat?" and you know what I says to him? I says, "ribbit." "
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Comments (279)
just wanted to let you know, i love you. xDD no homo.
You are so cool for writing this! :)
Bravo! Finally, a post about this I can get on board with :)
My husband does "chivalrous" things all the time - is it because I can't do them myself? No, it's because he loves and respects me. Eeshk. So-called feminists seem to get really upset about men doing nice things. I hold the door for men. Is it because they are weak? No. It's polite!
I agree. When I'm with a guy- I want to be treated like a queen, and I'd always make that clear. I don't WANT to open the door myself, lol.
THANK YOU!!! it's about time someone called them out on the bs.
"The simple fact that you make it a sexist issue, makes it a sexist issue." <---- amen!
THANK. YOU.
I COMPLETELY agree!! Yeah, I can open the door myself, but that doesn't mean that I don't think it's nice when a guy holds it open for me.
yes! thank you!
I think our school promotes these types of acts since we're having a Chivalry Day in Feb. It's kinda weird though, since most of the people are paired up with a girl instead of a guy, haha. Basically the guys are supposed to do all of that, and we're supposed to make crowns for each other/exchange gifts. Should be interesting.
YEAH!!!
Woot. I agree..
THANK YOU.
Someone finally had the guts to say this.
yessss!
thank you for writing this!
chivalry is really just courtesy,
and i think that there should be more of it from BOTH sides.
I like it when people open/ hold doors as I do it myself, it is polite.
but walking around the car to open my door is fucking awkward when I could have done it myself in the time that it took you to get over there. pulling out my chair for me will generally result in awkward bustle, and I would rather do it myself. it's not that I don't appreciate the gesture; it's that it's unnecessary and I would rather take care of myself because I was raised to be very independent.
chivalry is bullshit, this is 2010. get over yourself, move on... not only is chivalry nearly dead, this issue, definitely is. everyone has their own preference, and it's going to stay that way.
I respect if someone wants to be chivalrous; but for me? no thanks. try doing it for the spoiled girl who loves to be pampered.
chivalry and being polite are two different things; there are manners and courtesy, and then there is unnecessary action. I don't know. I don't like chivalry. guys shouldn't have to do all the work to impress and pamper a woman. she should look to be impressing him as well.
Agreed! Although it does bother me when I can't get the door open because the guy is going out of his way to try and get it for me. The effort on his part is still appreciated though.
totally agree with this post!
uhmm am I the only one who has NEVER heard a feminist say this? apparently so.
I AM A FEMINIST AND I LIKE WHEN MY BOYFRIEND OPENS THE DOOR FOR ME. THANKS BYE
So effin' true! -hi five! I am a chivalrous mayun and I would gladly open the door for you anytime cause you are kewl :p
@greenglow28@xanga - I totally agree with you.
@Coke0@xanga - at least someone does... I feel like everyone who is like "omg chivalry is dead!!!1!1" is a spoiled brat who expects to be treated like the queen that she is not (note: a comment above actually exemplifies someone wanting to be treated as a "queen.")
I'm sick of spoiled little girls getting crap they don't deserve. you should have to work for what you earn, INCLUDING a decent guy. he shouldn't just have to work to earn your affections; what does that show that you are bringing into a relationship? it works BOTH ways.
like I said; politeness and chivalry are two different things. most things "chivalrous" are completely unnecessary; some things "chivalrous" are just politeness.
and I totes agree, I've never heard a feminist speak of chivalry, and I myself, am NOT a feminist. I'm just very independent, and I expect to be respected for it...
@greenglow28@xanga - There is a difference between being independent and overdoing it. I prefer to open my own doors, pay for my own meals, and drive myself places. I have a friend who I feel has been trying to "woo me" for a while now. He's a marine and he wants to do these things for me. While I would prefer to do it myself and don't expect anyone else to do it for me, he WANTS to do it. So who am I to tell him not too. I've told him time and time again he doesn't have too. I've offered to pay for my own meals and that we could take my car places, but he has said he likes to do those things and he wants to do them. It makes him happy so he can do them if he pleases.
It is kind of a lose-lose situation.
@Twilight_Embers@xanga - I could agree. if someone wants to pay for my meal, then occasionally, that's fine, as long as we're clear that it's not a regular thing, and as long as he knows that that isn't what it's going to take to win me over. being chivalrous won't win me over... a lot goes into why I find someone attractive.
I guess I'm just not easily impressed. if you're chivalrous but can't carry a conversation? sorry... not a chance.
I guess I look negatively at chivalry because it means so much less to me than a number of other factors. I never really though about it that way until now.
Sigh.
I wish people understood the meaning of being a TRUE feminist.
I agree with the poster on most aspects, but let's not denounce good feminists.
I agree to the fullest extent of agreement.