So, I read
this featured blog, talking about why nice guys never get the girl. I've heard a lot about nice guys, and I know there are a handful of nice, good guys out there. How about the other way around? When the girl is the "nice" girl and the boy is the one left in the dark?
Why do I never hear anything like that? What has become so Hollywood about the nice guy liking the girl? The only main stream equivalent to the nice girl in love with the guy is Taylor Swift's "You Belong With Me" song.
But really, there is a guy I love. I've loved him for years. He's my best friend, and I've told him everything. I would call him crying and he would stay on the phone until I fell asleep. He's an amazing nice guy too, but lately I think he's dropped plenty of hints that he wouldn't want to date me. So this is why I've never told him how I've felt, for the years we have been friends. He's going through a hard time now, and I just want to be with him.
Like the other blog said: "Some of these guys label themselves “nice” because they never express their opinions, and therefore rarely, if ever, cause problems" This applies to me (except I am female). With him going through a rough spot, I would not want to tell him all these feelings I've had for so long and risk the chance of losing him. I would rather him be my best friend that rarely returns my texts or phone calls than to have him utterly ignore me.
Have any ladies ever been in this situation? You are in love with your best friend, yet you get the feeling he doesn't love you back? The entire nice guy stereotype has switched sexes? How did you deal with it?
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Comments (65)
this seems less a case of "nice girl" as it does of "unrequited love/like/crush".
i would argue, though, that there's no female equivalent of the "nice guy." this is because the nice guy never gets any action, whereas the nice girl does. (yes, i realize this isn't what you posted about.)
I've never been in that situation, but I have a lot of wonderful friends, male and female, that are single and really are the "nice guy" or "nice girl."
In reality, it doesn't matter how "nice" you are; sometimes relationships just aren't meant to be :/
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - Truth. I wonder how many people think of themselves this way, when really it was just a case of "not being liked back."
Thats an interesting case you got going on there. Are you positive that he doesnt feel the same way you do? You never know till you ask. If you guys are friends like how you say you are. There really shouldnt be any problem telling him straight off the back how he feels about you. Just ask him. If he feels as strongly about your friendship that you do. Then it will NOT destroy the friendship in anyway.. I think you should just ask him. Why not.
my situation is a little different. I'm a nice girl looking for a nice guy, but only assholes make their interest in me known. it's frustrating, and I've hung up my hat on dating.
just tell him... same situation... my best friend... now boyfriend, even after years of referring to me as his "little sister" (we're only 2 years apart.) I finally told him how I felt, when he was going through a really rough time... and he admitted he'd always had a thing for me as well.
just tell him. it's like a 50% chance he feels the same way, no harm in just going for it...
I like nice girls. There's a difference, though, between nice people and people who never say what they want.
I've been called a "nice girl" but my situations are never the case of love being unreturned. My situations always involve me getting fucked over by my boyfriends because I'm so nice, sweet, lovable, etc, and they aren't willing to put in the same amount of effort as I do...and yeah I know that has nothing to do with the OP, just throwing out my "nice girl" take.
As for the OP, tell him and you might be surprised. Signals get crossed all the time so what you may think is disinterest may just be a pessimistic view of yours on the situation and not the actual truth.
Are you kidding? Girls are mean and vicious. Also, cunning and manipulative. Don't underestimate them for a second, lest they tear you to shreds.
I suggest finding another guy to be with altogether.
Perhaps then will he recognize what you're worth.
The "Nice girl" problems can be handled the same way as the "Nice guy" ones.
This feeling is pure torture.
i feel like it's really not a matter of being a nice guy or a nice girl. sometimes no matter how nice or how pretty or funny a person is, no matter how you get along as friends, you just couldn't see yourself being romantically involved with him. ive been on both sides. as to your question on how to deal, i guess one way to cope is to understand that there's really nothing wrong or lacking in you, it's just not meant to be...
interesting question, but yeah, nice girls DO exist, despite comments above, and alot of them care more about the guy's feelings and the friendship to just risk it all in one confession.
in your case, and especially since he's going through a rough patch, i recommend being there for him as just a friend, as relationships that are entered into during rough times tend to be strained and not-quite what you expect them to be.
so my advice to you is, be a friend to him right now, and if he realises the lengths you were willing to go to as "just his friend", he might reconsider your "dateable potential", and when things have eased out for him, i reckon you should take a deep breath and tell him. if you like him enough, and there's no reason for you not to confess (ie, him having a girlfriend etc), DO IT!
you might be surprised :)
PLENTY of girls have been in your situation. If he's really your best friend you wouldn't lose him by telling him.
I have been in this situation. There's really nothing you can do about it. If I do figure it out, I'll let you know. In the meantime, don't miss out on a chance for a great relationship with someone else just because you are still waiting for your best guy friend.
I've never really been in love with my best friend, but I am definitely "the nice girl." It honestly gets to me sometimes, being called that. I'm proud of being smart, and nice, and not a trouble maker and all that good stuff, but people step all over you if you don't watch it, just because they think they can.
Nice girls are just called pathetic, clingy or lonely. It's sad but true.
@pouttwistsing@xanga - Hi dear , do not be so frustrated because of that , when you meet the man who is meant by God to be yours , you will find your soul mate and he will be the nice guy for you . Please , try yo look to the full half of the glass , do not let your frustration hang on you all the time . Believe me , your nice guy is kept for you and he will be sent to you at the proper time . Have a little patience my dear nice girl . Bye with my best wishes .
@Adwaiy@xanga - wow thats pretty harsh.
@coolmonkey@xanga - hahaha. ouch.
i think a lot of these unrequited love stories get turned into nice-guy/gal-getting-rejected stories.
Story of my life.
"Nice girls are just called pathetic, clingy or lonely. It's sad but true."
yeah what she said. just start being a bitch to him or ignoring his calls. he'll want you.
stop being a doormat.
i'm the same way.
I know what you mean. I've loved my best friend for 6 years & going. We got separated for 5 years, and now he's back in my life since 2008. And, surprisingly, he returned my feelings that I still had for him so long ago. But, I do understand how it feels to love your best friend, but the feelings aren't returned /:
I have a huge crush on one of my guy friends and it sucks knowing he isn't interested at ALL :(
This is one interesting blog.
There are nice girls out there, but either most of them are taken or just don't show interest (unless they're shy). But I will agree on that, 100% :D