Thursday, 07 January 2010
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Is He Playing Mind Games?
Q. You could say my ex and I have a rocky history. Actually, an extremely rocky history is more accurate. It was a very messy break up, and the months after it have been even worse. The other night, he, out of nowhere called me, and we actually had a pleasant conversation. Hoping for this atmosphere again, I texted him last night. It was a fairly dull conversation, and so once it had pretty much died I quit replying. He texted me again, and somehow got to talking about how I was doing, and he said "I still care about you a lot babe". His use of babe really confused me, but I just ignored it. The conversation died again, plus I was half asleep, so for a second time I quit replying (politely. The last text he sent me was just ":D") Then, he texts me AGAIN, just asking what I was doing, so I told him I was really tired and wanted to go to bed, so he says "Alright, good night babe :)" I found this very strange again but managed to fall asleep.
During the above conversation, he mentioned getting together to swap some CDs so today we met up at a smoothie place. When he saw me, he handed me my CDs, we talked briefly, and he left. I was left standing there extremely confused, and wondering what really just happened. Can you think of any reason why he would be so flirty over texts and then so brash when we met up? Am I overreacting by thinking he was flirting? Or am I overreacting by thinking that it was strange that he left so early?
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About the Author
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- From: advice@xanga
- Name: Candace
- Location: Georgia, United States
- About Me: Do you need advice? Im not qualified by any means to give it to you.. but come post your questions in my comments slot.. or even my quest book.. and ill publicly answer it in my entries.. Thanks :)
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Comments (25)
I don't know if you're overreacting about anything. I wouldn't understand it either..If he sounded sweet in his texts I don't see why he'd be in a big rush to leave once yous were together in person. It doesn't make any sense to me. I would be confused as well. :-/
He's a douche, don't make contact with him anymore.
He sounds confused, give him space and let him figure his crap out while you enjoy yourself.
i think he is a bit confused, i wouldn't look in to it too much, i know it might be hard with him calling you 'babe' but you should try to move on, he had his chance, you deserve more than that =)
maybe at the smoothie place, you acted as if you were distant, or weirded out.. in ways that he thought you didn't want to reunite anymore.
I understand you wondering about that but sometimes we can overthink things. I don't think anything about it when someone calls me sweety or babe it's just the way some guys talk to females . Hope that helps
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I'd be very suspicious, the same thing happened to me lol. Ignore him, he's not worth your time. My ex eventually stopped trying to talk to me when I gave him the cold shoulder, but he still calls every now and then.
This sounds exactly my ex and me...I'm as stumped as you so I'll be checking back on this!
my only advice is that if it's rocky once, it will always be rocky. i've been there, done that, and only got hurt in the end. guys like that never change.
I say cut off all ties and get a new guy.
It sounds like he wanted CD's an was being nice so he made sure he got them. I cant stand guys that play with girls heads.
maybe he was prepared to be more enthusiastic when he saw you but just got nervous in person.
he cares about you but only if you have some benefit like cds to swap. anything more, he isn't ready for due to his past.
Sounds like he doesnt really know what he wants. He knows he can get you back for some reason or another. It also sounds like he was trying to do just that but maybe seeing you made him nervous and he didnt want to make it awkward, yet he did. I would just give it all time. Don't not talk to him, but dont think too much of it. I just got out of a long term relationship and my ex was a dick to me. It was a rocky relationship and a horrible break up. I had my heart broken and made an ass out of myself. In due time, i may be in the situation you are in. I do know I am probably going to ignore my ex for a while and play my cards right. Not to get this person back or something, but just to show i am stronger now. :P Its all just one big game.... even the people that hate games... play them. :(
Sounds like this guy that liked me. He'd awkwardly stare at me when he walked by me at school, which was creepy, and then text me saying; 'i seen you=)'
Scary??? Haha.
all men are the same. asses.
well first off, i feel like the word "babe" can be used as guys as something meaningless or maybe he just was so use to calling you that and not by your actual name that it became a nickname for you so to speak. and it also sounds like he was just trying to get his cds back as well. but like some of the other people said, you weren't really responding to anything he said with great enthusiasm. How would you have felt if he sent nothing really exciting back for you to respond to? i think you should look at this as probably a good thing. give you time to really get over the guy.
You broke up, then he called you out of nowhere...and was all sweet in the texts and then acted 'brash' in person...I agree with CrimsonxBallad@xanga. He sounds like a douche. Like he wants to keep you on backup in case his other plans fail. As to using babe...maybe he's just trying to reestablish 'ground' with you. Choose wisely whether or not you want to let him back in, since you've already had a rocky history and messy breakup. I'd totally walk away.
haha i had that before. my ex bf was playing games with me,, ugh i hated that. that is a total turn off for me
I hate it when guys act like jerks. Im going throo something similar. guys think they know what they're doing, but they don't . Remember tho you're in control! The ball is in your court. I agree with others in that just ignoring him and letting yourself heal is the best for now.
honestly .. my ex does that ALL THE TIME .. trust me .. it never ends .. even after years .. i just decided to cut off contact .. i know he'll come back eventually .. but like always .. itll lead to no where .. honestly .. just leave him be hes not worth it .. just like my ex .. let them play their games by themselves =)
@MistressAislin@xanga - i so agree with you on that
@BlehhItsTu@xanga - that could also be true!
@successjournal010@xanga - good advice!
Well, those are definitely mixed signals...Either way, though, I think that since your history together was so rocky, its just best not to dwell on it and just to not get involved with him again. :/ It will probably just end up the way it did the last time.