Thursday, 07 January 2010

  • The 3 Day Rule


    I mentioned in my last post about how this new guy waited three days after we met at a party before asking me to hang out. We really hit it off at the party but afterward I was unsure about how I felt about him because he seemed a little too into me and I am usually one who prefers somewhat of a chase. After he took 3 days to contact me though, I felt a little differently.

    I fully expected him to text me the day after the party and when he didn't I thought he must be busy and surely he would the second day. I mean he seemed to really like me and we got along... Why wouldn't he?

    When the second day came around I began to wonder... Maybe he really isn't as into me as he seemed. Maybe that's the way he is with all girls. Maybe he isn't going to call at all. What a jerk!

    By the third day I was really pretty pathetic. I thought there must be something wrong with me. What's the deal? We had a connection... I even added him on Facebook already! Every time my phone went off I would look down hopefully, and when it finally was him I felt excited and relieved.

    I had never understood the 3 day rule before this. Actually, I didn't really think guys still followed it anymore, but when I talked to a guy friend about it he said that most guys he knows still wait out the 3 days before asking out a new girl. Obviously, from my example it seems to work!

    What do you think of the 3 day rule? Guys, do you use it after meeting a new girl? Is the purpose really to get the girl to want you more, or just to be polite?

Related Posts

Comments (40)

  • Utoppia

    well it obviously worked on you so good for you both. To answer your question, in my past experience, guys wait 3 days because they don't want to seem desperate or too into the girl. That's what I've been told...
  • gatorgirl54@xanga

    Lol I really prefer to have the "upper hand" in the beginnings of a relationship before it settles and becomes stable. I think having the guy calling me again literally within minutes of getting my number is a turn off, but having to wait three days for a phone call is just too insulting in my mind. I'd be too defensive of my pride to answer. You have to want me more than that for me to take time out of my day for you. 
  • Manstration@xanga

    Dating 'rules' are ridiculous. If he really wants to talk to you and is unable to contain himself, he will call and disregard any 'rules'. 
  • coolmonkey@xanga
    The "3 day rule" was some theory popularized in the movie Swingers, which ironically, in the end implied that the theory is bullshit. However, I think it works on a chick if it's her first time being subjected to it. After that, she can smell the bs and counter with a 3 day rule of her own. I'd very much rather skip the juvenile games.
  • anonymous

    I don't think it's fast to know what a person wants on the first day you meet someone. I just met this guy the other night and he was trying to get with me. I told him how I only get with people I date or care about and he actually freaking asked me to be his girlfriend the first night he met me, lol. I was like I don't even know him all that well. He knew a few things about me but not enough. I wish he would have done the 3 day thing. Can't believe he tried to do everything in one night.
  • wholiedtotheblind@xanga

    Seems like these kinds of codes and rules, ultimately reduce the possibility of a mature relationship to a petty game. If a boy likes you he'll call... if a boy wants to win you like a carnival prize then he'll follow macho-dating-rules.
  • coralcwayla@xanga

    @coolmonkey@xanga - that's what I was thinking as well
  • jetnomical@xanga

    3 day rule is for 13 year olds. If a guy really wants to see you, he'll contact you the next day.
  • imperfect_still@xanga

    I personally like the three day rule, works on me like a charm :)
  • thelizomnibus@xanga

    I think that playing games is immature.. if you want to call, call. Don't wait 3 days because of a 'rule'
  • kellouise@xanga

    If you're really into someone, these immature and ridiculous games and "rules" need not apply. Just go out there and get what you want. Forget rules!
  • Shinbi_Belldandy@xanga

    @Manstration@xanga - I agree with you. If someone really liked you, they wouldnt follow "rules". I read Naomi Watts' interview with some mag that when she gave Lev her number at a party before she left, he text her right as she was leaving & that got her interested. In relationships, games are immature to me so if they take too long, I'm gone by the time they call. 
  • Jackassbobby112@xanga

    I don't wait, if I'm into her why not give her a call the next day?
  • wyrdkismet@xanga

    i still don't get it. where did this 3 day rule thing originate from?
  • UnopenedSuitcases@xanga

    the way i see it, if i like someone, i'd go for it.
  • SamiiSaysHaii@xanga

    psh, who follows rules anymore ? Call them the next day and have fun on your date. Obviously if you've acquired each others' numbers, that's a sign that something might happen, so just take the chance. Don't let 'rules' hold you back from doing something that could potentially make you extremely happy. 
  • American_woman_USA@xanga

    I am agreeing with Samii's comment & advice above my comment . I don't  think you need rules or guidelines on anything like that . Do what feels comfortable or right to you   
  • thebeautyofwinter@xanga

    For me, anything past a day is a turn off. If a guy waits longer than a day, I assume he's never going to call.

    Some rules and games are complete bullshit. I only obey the rules from He's Just Not that Into You and Why Men Love Bitches.
  • XoAsianBabioX@xanga

    ah dating games. how annoying.
  • bluehoursky@xanga

    Hahaha.

    Anyone watch How I Met Your Mother?

    The 3 day rule is important.
  • wingedferret@xanga

    Sounds like a pretty decent amount of time. Not too long, not too short.
  • xXDC_luyouXx

    @gatorgirl54@xanga - 


    What the hell with some of these responses with "agreeable times to call after meeting"...?


    Why don't we see things from a guy's point-of-view, shall we?  I'll call whenever I feel like it.  If it doesn't agree with your timeframe then "Oh well".  No, guys are NOT mindreaders and obviously you didn't tell them when it's OK to call.


    If they call at a "wrong time after meeting"(whether it is 3 days or it is 1 days after) to seem like a turn-off, well take it as is... because at least he did call after all... and move on with whatever you decide with him... if he calls.


    As a side-note, I don't see why it isn't naturally perfect for a girl to call first in these times. 


    @thebeautyofwinter@xanga - "I only obey the rules from He's Just Not that Into You and Why Men Love Bitches." 


    You actually believe in those fully?  In my opinion, they are simply books/movies meant to entertain and doesn't account for a lot of the decisions/personalities of men.
  • Tokimon@xanga

    i don't know if it has to be exactly 3 days, but it's good for him to call in the end :)
  • xraindropsonroses@xanga

    These dating rules are so strange, I know theres a lot of them but I don't pay any attention to them.

  • WackyPaky222NINE@xanga

    I don't think its so much about following a rule, but more of a guideline of social custom.  As a guy you don't want to call "too soon" and don't want to wait too long and be a "jerk".  I personally don't follow the rule, but I am hesitant to call right away...on the other hand my life keeps me busy and when it gets close to 3 or 4 days I feel the pressure to call so I don't seem like a jerk. 

    It seems that 2-4 days works out well...not too soon and not too long where you are a jerk for not calling.  I've called sooner and I've called later...just depends on when I find enough time to have a nice conversation. 

  • Choose Identity

  • Give eProps (?)