Thursday, 07 January 2010
-
Question of the Day
At the risk of sounding incredibly dumb, I wanted to know if you guys could all give me your opinions on something? I am often told that even though I am not "girlfriend material" that I am "wife material." What does this mean to you? And what makes the difference between the two?
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: anonymish
- About Me: This post was submitted by a Datingish reader who wanted to remain anonymous. You can submit your own anonymous post at www.datingish.com/submit-post - just make sure you let us know you wouldn't like to have your username displayed!
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 227 Views: 0 543096 Comments: 0 13046 View all posts by anonymish
Comments (29)
That makes no sense to me. I believe you have to be girlfriend material before you can ever be considered to be wife material. It sounds as if whatever guy told you this crap is just trying to make you feel special and get into your pants. run girl run!!!
girlfriend material- the guy talking to you problem doesn't want a long term commitment right now, and sees girlfriend material as someone he could be with for a period of time.
wife material... i'm guessing is the kind of person someone once to be with once they've got all their wild little fantasies out of the way and they want to commit to someone forever.
It's by no means a bad thing towards you, it's more on his part most likely.
You're someone they'd date, have fun with, but ultimately not be with long-term.
@JaydenWolf@xanga - You can be wife material and still do all the "wild" stuff ;-P
Like @JaydenWolf@xanga said, it's not your fault if guys feel that way but it's just their opinion and by no way true. Unless you're very domestic and the typical girl next door type which is why they can't picture fooling around and doing the nasty with you.
@l0veBabyx@xanga - by wild little fantasies, I kind of meant screw them and have fun and "love" them but don't plan a future. But I agree with you :P
makes no sense to me. i dont look at women that way. if they are good enough to be a gf, then they are good enough to be my wife. but...i do have women that are just friends and i dont see them as being anything but that.
yea this is somewhat counter-intuitive since u'd assume a gf would eventually become a wife. a guy who would say this probably sees u as the stable, long-term kind of girl and not the wild/fantasy kind of girl they want to have a fling with. take it as a compliment =)
girlfriends tend to have nicer bodies, are more interesting, spontaneous, & exciting, give more sex, etc.
wives tend to do your laundry & other housework for you, let themselves go, & are comfy just staying at home to eat dinner & watch tv. also sexual activities & varieties of sexual activities decrease when you're married.
Wife material is someone that a guy can see himself being committed to, someone that he could see himself coming home to everyday...most likely in the future and not necessarily right now.
Girlfriend material is someone who is a little more disposable. Plus, girlfriend material is someone in the "now".
Honestly though, it sounds to me as if the guy who would say you are wife material instead of girlfriend material is just looking for an excuse to not be with you. It seems like a cop-out, unless he's looking for someone to settle down with.
But what would I really know? I'm a girl, lol. Ask the boys. :)
doesn't a girlfriend eventually evolve into a wife? i mean, if the relationship doesn't end. i'm so confused. how could you not be girlfriend material and be wife material?? i could see it the other way around, but this is weird.
I think it can mean several things but I would guess it means girlfriend material is someone to have fun with & good times & wifey material is someone you might be interested in if permanence is what you want. A little suprise or spice might make the guy think twice about where he placed you
.
I guess (to me) it means you're past having the qualities of a girlfriend and onto have those that a wife does. Maybe you have all the expectations of a wife too, instead of a girlfriend.
It's just a bullshit excuse to not date you in my opinion. I don't see any real significance to the terms whatsoever because they read so much like a cop out.
there's a difference? what?
this is an easy one...
it's a sliding scale... if a guy values stability and security, he looks for a woman he thinks will accommodate this, a woman who is wife material. if a guy is more into excitement and surprises, and is willing to take on a little more risk in pursuit of these things, he is looking for girlfriend material. depending where on the scale a guy is will determine whether he's more into wife material or girlfriend material.
also, the sex is different.
There's no way to take either of those as a compliment! Either you're "girlfriend material" short term and screwable but not worthy of being kept or you're "wife material" and worthy of being kept but not fun and wild and someone they'd want to screw!!
What the...?!
I'm sorry, but I'd like to be wife AND girlfriend material.
@liquid_s@xanga - I know a lot of wives with nice bodies who are interesting spontaneous and exciting and have sex. They also do housework and laundry and get just as much comfort from a night in as a night out.
Sex does NOT have to decrease once you're married.
Why don't you just ask him what that means, or what he meant by it?
As a guy I can tell you that this comes up often when friends are dating someone. There is that point when the guy decides is this someone I would want to marry. There is a def difference between "girlfriend material" and "wife material" and its not simply that girlfriends are there to have your fun and wild times with.
The difference (in my opinion) is that there is an expected progression from girlfriend material to wife material. A girlfriend is simply a girl that you are attracted to, like to hang out with, hook up with etc in exclusion to all other girls ...monogamously. There is a level of compatibility that must exist, but that compatibility is only examined in a limited manner.
For wife material there is much more thought and further criteria that has to be fulfilled. We still get married with the expectation that its forever and therefore the person you marry must fit in your long term view of yourself and your life. As a guy I have been with girls who were great people, but just would not fit into my long term, life long expectations. Is someway or another there was something that didnt work. Either she would not make a good mother, not fit in with my family, not fit in with my career, or during the course of our relationship she simply did not grown in accordance with myself...we grew apart. All in all, there is more thought that goes into it and compared to a girlfriend you can be together in the moment, but as a wife you have to make sure she fits in with everything else as well.
girlfriend material-someone that you want at the moment but don't necessarily need
wife material-someone that you can't live without and need
@liquid_s@xanga - You know how many husbands and wives are going to be extremely offended by this? What you just said is really close-minded and wrong... or just maybe you're generalizing, which is just as bad anyway.
Also, I'd think that the only difference is that "wife-material" would be someone who you want to spend the rest of your life with. But then, you have to be a girlfriend before you are a wife, so...
he doesn't want to date you now, he only wants to marry you later.
@WackyPaky222NINE@xanga - I would have to agree with you about the difference between "girlfriend material" & "wife material" & that progression from the former to the latter..
However, the OP is asking why she's considered the latter & not the former. & I think that's what baffles most girls, myself included. I don't get how someone can be "wife material" & NOT be "girlfriend material" if there's that progression.
So is it just a cop-out? That seems to be the opinion of most of the commenters here..
Yeah, I've been told that, too. I'd rather a guy just balls up and be honest instead of spewing crap like that.
Holy shit, I get this all time too from my exes and guy friends.