Wednesday, 06 January 2010
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Kissing is Overrated ...
Or so he says.
Q. So I'm currently seeing this guy whom we shall call Jeremy. Jeremy is handsome, nice, sweet, good personality and everything you look for in a guy when you first meet them of course. Now, on our third date, we shared our first kiss which turned into a pretty hot, steamy make-out session. That was a month ago. It has now come to my attention that Jeremy refuses to kiss me now. He doesn't mind holding my hand, or cuddling, or all of the rated "R" stuff but if he has to kiss me, he acts as if he'll die. I practically have to beg him to kiss me and when he does finally cave in, it's one small peck.
I love kissing. There's just something so passionate and magical about it and I can't imagine being with someone who does not like to kiss. But I also like Jeremy ...
So what should I do? End it because he doesn't like to kiss? Or suck it up and never get to have another passionate kiss?
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- From: TheUglyTruth
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Comments (76)
I would see why he was willing to have a "pretty hot, steamy make-out session" with you then, and then refuses to kiss you now. There has to be a reason for it, otherwise he would have skipped that phase.
@makerm7@xanga - I'm with you. Find out why...
Maybe it was too much too soon for him and he wants to step back a little, or maybe he's afraid of committment and decided he liked that a little too much.
Or maybe it's a clash of kissing styles, or bad breath, not even on your part, maybe on his.
Then the next step, is it something that's really important to you? If yes and this is it and you can tell by his reason it's not going to change, then I'd say it's probably a crucial compatibility issue. If it's not and you care more about him than him kissing you, or if it's going to pass, stay with him.
Just my opinion.
As makerm7@xanga said, there must be some deeper reason to all this. It seems baffling on the surface... so try digging deeper, because there's likely to be something there. Premature judgments and decisions aren't going to help anyone.
Yeah, there has to be a reason. Bring it to his attention.
Maybe he just thinks you're a horrific kisser and doesn't know how to tell you, so he's avoiding it by being a pussy.
What? It could happen.
Wow that sucks. Seriously. There's no way I could be with someone who doesn't like to kiss.
Definitely try to find out why. You're just going to have to be blunt and confront him about it.
The #1 Relationship rule: Do Not Settle! Meaning, don't compromise anything less you want to give. It's okay to be picky: that's the "weeding out" process. There's another "Jeremy" out there, however, the other "Jeremy" kisses.
Maybe he's like me and doesn't particularly enjoy kissing ANYONE, but made out with you because he felt he had to because that's what's expected, and once you were in a relationship and he "had" you, he no longer had to do something he didn't enjoy.
Definitely talk to him about it, though. You might be surprised at the answer, at least if he trusts you enough to give an honest one.
Maybe he wants the kisses to be special. The less, the more you crave for them.
fruit by the foot
my old bf ... we didnt kiss for like a month into dating ... then when we did, he like raped my face with his tongue. then the next day he said he "wasnt ready to kiss like that." (that was my first kiss ever, so i was afraid i did something slutty or something .......... i was 20. he was 24.) we never swapped spit again and broke up 2 months later. i'd ask about it, honestly.
my bf now: BEST kisser ever born.
Dude, haven't you guys heard of the HONEYMOON phase? It disappears from after one month to about a year after initial dating. Kissing is probably something he's just not into. Like my boyfriend, ha.
Coming from someone who's "sucked it up", here. I learned to deal, and not let it bother me. I tell him from time to time I wouldn't mind, and sometimes he does when I don't bug him about it. Just a thought.
You definetly have to find out why he refuses to kiss you. There has to be some kind of reason. Then you can compromise and go on from there.
I couldn't be with anyone who doesn't want to kiss me either so if he still doesn't budge then don't settle for second best.
@HeartOfPandora@xanga - haha agreed. i actually refused to makeout with my now ex boyfriend the entire time we were dating because the first couple of chances i gave him to makeout with me, he bit my face. :P
i'd find out why, honestly that's really lame.
@Mary - my honeymoon phase is still going after 16 months :D
@sarahhs_thoughts@xanga - Holy shit, WAT!? Like...literally bit your face with his teeth? Lol. Lololol!
@HeartOfPandora@xanga - LOL
You SUCK, at KISSING. Accept it. lol
bad breath? O:
ask him why
I never dated a guy who didn't like to kiss ..no kissing is a deal breaker...find out why that's my advice
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I feel you. My boyfriend that i have been with for over a year doesn't make out. kinda sucks but you learn to deal if you really wanna be with the person.
Why dont you ask him about it? You'll never know why unless you ask him. If its that he doesn't like kissing its ur choice weither to stay with him but it may cause problems in the future.
@HeartOfPandora@xanga - haha YES. bit me. i had a mark on my face. he was absolutely adorable though and i was crazy about him so it didnt exactly bother me
This is strange for me to hear, my boyfriend always wants to kiss.. I'm still getting used to it.