Saturday, 02 January 2010
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Dating in 2010: 5 Tips to Get You "The One"
Made your fresh start to 2010? Great! Christmas has come and gone, good memories -and a few gifts I hope- have remained. New Year's Eve has come and gone, too. We have hidden the scales away and won't look at them until May or so
Then there are those resolutions... Hmmm... Well if one of your resolutions for 2010 is to Find The One, here are few hints that may help you on your way. How to find that Special One?
Tip #1. Date! Stupid as that may sound, it's true. If you want to find that Significant Other, you have to get off your butt, go out there and Date! There's an undeniable truth in the saying that you can't win the lottery if you don't buy a ticket.
Tip #2. Be courageous. "Faint heart never won fair lady" as the centuries-old saying goes. In other words, if you want the girl of your dreams, you can't sit back and hope for a miracle. You have to pluck up the courage and set about to win her heart. Does the same apply, in 2010, for the 'ladies' in the saying? Well maybe we can adapt it for today's world: "Faint heart never won sweetheart". Now it applies to both genders. It's perfectly normal in 2010 for a girl to make the first move, after all. But guys beware: as the dozens of comments made by girls on this article have shown, many if not most girls still prefer that the guy makes the first move.
Tip #3. Be yourself, always. Everybody wants to show their best side. Nothing wrong with that. You're not going to put an ugly mugshot of yourself as your profile pic on Facebook, Xanga or whatever. But you would also never put a picture of some great looker on and pretend that it's you. The same goes for real life. You can pretend that you are 'better' than you really are, but it's never going to work in the longer run.
Tip #4. Be self-confident. That is the hardest thing tipof all, and the easiest thing of all. Let me explain that. It's hard, because we are all a bit nervous on our first dates. We all want to make a good impression (Is my zip up? Is there spinach stuck between my teeth?). But I believe we are all unique, we are all special in our own way. So just remember that and be assured that what makes you special will come shining through, without you having to do anything about it. You have your own special gifts. You can be shy, a good listener, funny, witty, clever - whatever it is that makes you stand out, will come out by itself. That makes it the easiest thing: all you have to do is just be yourself.
Tip #5. Never have sex on the first few dates. This sounds soooo 19th century, I know. But if you read through all the stories on Xanga and elsewhere about dates going wrong, you will see why I'm saying it. If you have sex too soon, all sorts of negative things may follow. You may feel that you disrespected yourself. Your partner may feel that you were 'too easy' and disrespect you (hypocritically, surely, but true all the same). The sex may well be disappointing because you hardly know each other. And if you think you should do it as soon as possible, because you're afraid your partner might otherwise lose interest - well do you really believe then that he or she is The Right One for you? Respect yourself!
Have a great 2010!
What are some of your tips?
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About the Author
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- From: hundredsongsinhundreddays@xanga
- About Me: Jan-Wouter Stigter and Miriam Cassar write their stories connected with the songs they post for the next hundred days.
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Comments (32)
I'm surprised you didn't list details with #1 like where or how to find dates.
Hmmm, details would be nice. But I'll see where your so called tips get me this year.
You can find dates anywhere...weddings, church, school, any social event. Just be careful. Go on one date and date around...I think that is what #1 was trying to say. That way you see whats out there. Use tip #2,#3,#4 as the how to find dates. And definitely do number 5 on your dates ;) GOOD LUCK
The last comment in number two kind of irks me.
I bet if you ask around you'll find out guys prefer for the girl to make the first move, too. But, you know, they're girls so they get what they want.
@lewk@xanga - It kind of irks me too
but pragmatism comes in here I suppose.
Man, if I even meet anyone who's willing to date. . . that I'm willing to date. bahaha.
I'm definitely wiping "lose weight" off my resolution list. To date, is something I'll really consider now.
I think these are some great tips. I agree with number 3 strongly. Being yourself is the most important thing in any relationship. The "right" person for someone will accept someone for who he/she is. However, I've also discovered that love just happens. It's all about luck, timing, and opportunities. Unfortunately, these are things that people can't always control.
hello, well thanks but nothin special in that to do.. normal but nice...
@LadyofIlluminati@xanga - seconded
I agree with the fifth tip :) People tend to have sex too early upon meeting someone they find attracted, sometimes too soon means you are too easy; so I 100% agree with this. And meeting people through mutual friends is also another way to meet new people.
Oh good.... some more generalized and cliched tips. Somehow I feel like if you're having trouble dating, re-reading the same "Oh, just be yourself and be funny" tip over and over really isn't going to help you. The only tip on here worth anything is number 1. Experience is the best teacher and you'll figure out what works best for you as you go.
#5 is a win. If you don't respect yourself, how will anyone else would?
Flirting is key.
Great tips!
i know that alot of people look down on dating sites, however they do work well. you have an oppurtunity to look at lots of singles and see what they say about them selves and how they present themselves. if your stuck not knowing what to do, try it! just be careful! talk to them alot before you agree to meet them, and meet some place public.
I really liked this list, and it's very true.
sounds good!
make sense.
@mcmeister89@mancouch - Good point my friend. The thing is, I wish that when I was 20 I knew what I know now about dating (I'm 50 now). So that inspired this post.
@LadyofIlluminati@xanga - "I'm surprised you didn't list details with #1 like where or how to find dates."
Well I might just do that, for what it's worth. Thanks for the hint!
uh huh
remember, no picking up girls at the abortion clinic
This is great, I'm going to try and follow these tips! Thanks for posting :)
Define "first few dates."
I need to step out of my shell and just ask a girl on a date, especially if we make some sort of connection. Why would she say no?
Now it's over