Thursday, 31 December 2009
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Platonic Texting
I have a male friend who is in a long term committed relationship that he is very happy in. Being good friends, we stay in close contact, mostly through texting. However, lately it has gotten to be a lot of texting - so much so that my other friends have begun to notice. He texts me all day long - he is usually the first and last person I talk to. It's gotten to the point that I've become uncomfortable with it - I worry his girlfriend would not be alright with this. I know it's just platonic texting, but it makes me feel like we are becoming a bit too close. I feel like it would make his girlfriend uncomfortable to know he is in constant contact with me - even more so than her.
Would you be comfortable with your significant other always texting a friend of the opposite sex - even late at night or in the early morning?
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- From: beepfish@xanga
- Name: Michelle
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Comments (64)
yeah, i kind of would.. unless it's a text like "lol, i just farted in front of the girlfriend. FUCK!!" or "damn this poop just came out green with sprinkles.. i didnt even think that was possible".... i hope nobody was eating when they read this comment....
EH, It may bother me a little bit if it was every day. But thats it really.
My husband can text whoever he likes as often as he likes. He doesn't even know how to text though, so it isn't a problem. I'm quite likely to text 100 times a day guys and girls and he doesn't really mind much either.
well if its making you uncomfortable, I would just start responding a little slower so he stops texting so much, if your just friends, I doubt it would matter too much
That would be annoying. You're practically playing with fire and as of now, you could be a tool that he's using for his own end (possibly to make her notice something).
just tell him to cool it if you guys are no more than friends.
i'd be annoyed (with the SO, not his friend - unless she encourages it!)...i'm ok with my SO having friends he can talk to, that's fine, but i wouldn't like the idea of him being someone else's first and last thought...i don't share that place.
@wolvenchic@xanga - yeah i agree, she should start responding slower. might avoid future trouble.
I trust my husband 100%, but if he was texting a girl throughout the day, all day, every day then I'd definitely be annoyed. I guess it really depends on how he acts while doing it though, ya know? If he's doing it right in front of me it would probably bother me less, but if he was keeping his phone on silent, jumping up to get the texts immediately so I couldn't see, or leaving the room...then we might have a problem.
I would definitely not be comfortable with that unless I know that person of the opposite sex is a homosexual. But even then, I wouldn't be happy because your significant other is the one that you should be talking to more than just a platonic friend. Bottom line: if you are becoming uncomfortable, there is a very good chance that your instincts are right and this is not a good friendship to maintain.
Sometimes but not everyday and definitely not frequently during the same time period.
I'd probably get annoyed if she would do it while we would be hanging out, but if she would text her guy friend while I am not around to keep her company, I wouldn't care. Nothing drives me more crazy but to see guys controlling their girlfriends all the time, so I definitely wouldn't make it a big deal.
It's about proportion.
If he's texting/talking to another girl (you) more than he talks to the person he's actually with (his gf) that sends mixed messages. Who does he actually like? Why doesn't he text/talk to his gf as much as he talks to you?
I certainly wouldn't take kindly to it if I were the girlfriend in this situation.
oooooh i'd be mad.
that would bother me if it was an all day thing! that's too much. he might be growing attachment to you..
I wouldn't be comfortable with it, but I'd deal with it. I've been there before, twice. One time was with one of her ex's. I'd say that if YOU'RE this worried about it, imagine how worried SHE is. I think you have a right to text him, but you should know where to draw the line and say, "Enough is enough." You don't want to be the reason a perfectly well established relationship breaks up. I'd be like, "Hey, we can text, but not as much as we have been." That's what I'd do.
This is not okay.
Platonic texts are fine, but this sounds like things are way past overboard.
HELL YEAH i would. and ur a good person for caring. most girls i know would TRY to get us to break up.
but maybe he likes you?
I have a guy friend that texts me all the time and I didnt think anything of it but my fiance gets annoyed/jealous
I would probably feel a little uncomfortable at first, then probably ask to see the conversations and upon finding out they were platonic, not really make a big deal out of it...
What WOULD bug me a lot is if my boyfriend was texting someone else a lot when I'm with him. I mean, come on, if you're bored I get it, but you're with me, I should be your main focus when we are together.
lol.. My boyfriend isn't cool with it. :/ I guess I'd have to say I wouldn't be okay with it, either..
erms that's just asking for trouble. try not texting him back as much, and sometimes maybe ignoring. keep it to a minimal until he chills.
I know it happens.. I know the guy I'm seeing does text a girl from work. Its pretty uncomfortable at times.. But I think I have a pretty legitimate reason for being suspicious. Every girl that has texted him before for a while thought it was more than just a friend to friend basis.
I would definitely be bothered - any time, day or night. I was kind of in that situation when my boyfriend and I were on the extreme verge of dating. It upset me even then, namely because 1) he used to like her and 2) she down talked me anytime she texted him. They eventually lost touch, but I'll never forget it.
@liiv19@xanga - oh my. i know how you feel! haha, the same exact thing happened with my boyfriend. she was his ex and she always called me a liar and stuff when she texted him! hahaha, he eventually stopped talking to her too. it still bugs me though when i think about it