Much of what I'm trying to describe here is contingent on your social background (what kind of school you went / go to, and so on), but I guess establishing a specific dating regiment was never my highest priority; I liked who I liked, which is, essentially, my topic. Many of the kids in my high school "focused" on one or maybe two guys / girls whom they were interested in at the time, basically. I guess I had a more flexible set of criteria, or I just found a lot of girls really fascinating, or something to that effect, but whenever one of my friends asked me who I liked, I would list off anywhere between four and seven names. Granted, though, that I wasn't actively pursuing all of the names I gave, I still would have dated all of them.
Upon hearing this, my friends' reactions were typically either confusion or shock. I didn't normally think much of it. I still hold the same beliefs today, although there aren't nearly as many girls at my college whom I find interesting. My question is, do you limit the scope of your romantic investment to one or two people, or do you allow yourself to be attracted to as many people as you please simultaneously? Is this is a matter of self-preservation? Lastly, how does it affect your outlook on dating (which perspective do you think leads to a more prosperous dating life)?
Recommend
Comments (9)
I don't date unless it's serious. It's not serious if I don't have real feelings for someone. I am incapable of carrying romantic feelings for more than one person at a time.
I dislike wasting my time, so the thought of taking someone out on a date and paying and whatnot when I don't even know them that well just isn't attractive to me. I'm a nice guy, but I'm incredibly picky and critical. If I really care about a girl, chances are that on some level, her and I have been friends for a bit (though, maybe not close friends. I tend to keep a bit of distance, so as to avoid the whole 'you're just too good of a friend' thing).
I really don't even lust after that many people at a time. But that's probably also because of my perfectionism.
I keep my eyes open. I'm in a monogamous relationship at the moment, but when I'm single, I find myself attracted to a variety of girls. Before I started seeing my current gf, there was her (girl-next-door type), two indie/hippie type chicks, a black girl who was conventionally beautiful and did some modeling on the side, and two more preppier chicks. I find that I don't really have a "type" and I don't put blinders on when I start liking a girl. I don't necessarily take all the girls out and spend money on them, but I'll hangout more, flirt, and get to know all of them.
It just so happened that I clicked more on a personality level with my gf and so I pursued her more.
I could do that if I were able to find that many people interesting, but I just don't. I'm fickle and I find many people bland and not worth perusing romantically. I don't feel like I'm on some kind of specific time limit (I don't want kids) so I don't need to have it any other way. It's funny that you say you had more openness in high school because I had less :/ I wouldn't have even bothered speaking to any girls in that picture above- assuming they were idiots. Now that I'm older I don't generalize as much, or base someone's personality just on looks- but I'm increasingly picky.
I mean I have divisions in my head of who I'd date, who I actually like, and who I'd never ever ever date (the friend-zoned).
I like who I like, but not for long! My interests aren't limited to just one type,but after a few days or so (maybe a few weeks), I'm bored with them. So, as a result, I don't date. I guess my type would be a guy who holds my interest over a large span of time rather than just a few minutes.
i cant date several guys at the same time. when I am attracted to one person they are my focus. I wonder if that makes me loyal or obsessive????? lol
@Posh_Barbie_Doll@xanga - haha...me too. Loyal or obsessive? Hmmm...good question.
If my friends and I decided to revert back a few years and played the "who do you like game," I would list one or two names of boys that I really, really like. If I were to be asked, "who would you date," the list of names would go on and on. ...perhaps that's the difference? Who do you like vs. Who would you date? I would date a lot of different guys that I don't "like" at the time...those feelings can be developed, whereas the general attraction is already there. And for some guys, the only reason they're not on my "like list," is because I don't know them well enough...which makes them go to my "date list." Haha.
I always like one person at one time. When someone caught my eyes and heart (clearly), I'd pay my whole attention to him and only him.. not in a obsessive kinda way. :p
But hey, I can't even multitask in my life.
There are many guys I find attractive, but one being attractive doesen't necessarily mean I am interested in them. I find myself pursuing and actually being interested in someone once I've already gotten to know them, and once I'm sure that I have feelings for the person. I keep my eyes open to all sorts of people. I don't want to judge them fully by their looks, because It's a persons qualities and values that mainly move me.