Tuesday, 29 December 2009
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Glutton for Punishment?
We all do it, we want what we can't have and not what we have. We all like a challenge but when is enough enough. I am sick of dating assholes and trying to understand them. I am sick of putting my heart and my emotions on the line for guys who act like they don't care. Everyone does it male and female. We all want that someone who is unattainable. WHY!
I am tired of the game. I am tired of dating and finding jerks over and over. Do I create them? I don't know anymore. Maybe I am just attracted to that type of person. I know I can be that person also. Why is it so hard to attain the one thing we all want? LOVE.
I honestly do believe if a person is interested they will act that way and they will put forth the effort to get you if they really want you. Why do I pull when they push, or push when they pull. Why is there no middle ground. Its like a constant power struggle, either you subdue or I subdue to you. You can wear the pants but just remember who takes them off!
What are we to do? I wish I was born a few generations back when there wasn't so much outside forces that basically doom relationships these days. Internet, texting, bars, tv... It all creates havoc for any relationship.
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- From: skeeziix
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Comments (27)
Relationships were always and will always be complicated. No matter where you live, what your gender, or sexuality, people are complicated and two people put together is complicated. Lol. Truth of the matter is, you need to search out good guys. Let guys know you don't want to play games. If you text someone and they blow you off, don't text them again. If you extend an invite to hang out and you hear nothing back, they must not be interested, move on. Hell, I had this one friend who would text me on her own time. If I texted her and she didn't text me back, I'd delete her number half of the time. Then when she'd text me I'd ask who it was and she'd tell me and I'd tell her I deleted her number and why. We laughed about it, but I was dead ass serious. It takes all of 10 seconds to text someone, "Hey can I call you later? I'm at work." Or if they aren't allowed to text when they're at work they can text me later and tell me they didn't respond sooner because _______. :shrugs: Man, when I was younger and someone said they were going to call me later. I really thought they meant it. Then I found out sometimes people just say crap like that. Which drives me up the wall.
Its simple, women only fuck dicks. The nice guy in high school who would never leave you and cherish you, well you missed that boat and chances are that "nice" guy has found another nice guy. Women want the nice guy but they never notice him as being "worthy" until its too late and the nice guy figures out that this woman they like is not what they want and move on.
i'm sorry, you'll find a good guy one day, just keep your eyes open, there are plenty out there. :)
@modern_mans_hustle20@xanga - some* women.. i only go for the nice guys.
@My_Imperfect_Words@xanga - You said it best. Commenting should now be closed, there isn't much more to say on this subject. Nicely done.
@modern_mans_hustle20@xanga - That's how I used to think too, since I was the nice guy who was mostly overlooked in high school. I've come to realize that the mentality you're talking about mostly gets abandoned after high school and almost always after college. People grow up and hopefully that includes learning who is truly good for them. Of course, there will be those exceptions, but for the most part, girls wise up around college.
@mcmeister89@mancouch - lol, the ones who dont are usually shallow or cant see people for who they are. All they see is well physical features. I have found being the "nice guy" it tends to lend yourself as a doormat to the women who cant figure out why all the men they meet are jerks.
@HollowTendencies@xanga - how do you know who the nice guys are? dicks are just wolves in sheep's clothing, they want you to think they are sweet and nice and then it all fades and your stuck with "tah dah" a dick.
@modern_mans_hustle20@xanga - or MAYBE they are a nice guy pretending to be a dick.. ;)
i know my boyfriend is a nice guy because, as beyoncé would put it, i can see his halo
@HollowTendencies@xanga - that is a good point, but its very hard to tell the two apart. I have seen friends who are the dick and what they say to their women and what they tell friends are 2 different things. Nice guys tend to not show who they can be to very many people because they have been shot down for it.
I speak mostly for myself but have seen it many times.
@modern_mans_hustle20@xanga - yeah, i know what you mean. i've known quite a few guys to be that way. and the truly nice ones will always win in the long run.
i've known my boyfriend since second grade and his sister is my best friend so i guess he doesn't count lol
I thought I was dating a nice guy, then two months into the relationship he slowly started to change. Started insulting me, hitting me etc. Somehow he managed to make me feel like it was all my fault. Maybe it was.
I can't seem to attract a genuine nice guy. I agree with you about wishing to be born a few generations back. Everything seemed so simple then.
I am sorry but I think it goes for both sexes. Men want what they can't have and always try to upgrade; sorry charlie you can't upgrade unless your a computer come on already! I mean if you get stuck in the friend zone that means the women around you don't find you attractive. There has to be some sort of physical attraction to make someone want passion. I have tried to date the 'nice guy' while foregoing that physical/chemical attraction and it just doesn't work. I am not trying to be an asshole but that is how most people are we want someone that is at our own level, beauty is only skin deep. I sometimes think confidence and being cocky helps make someone attractive because they are a challenge.
@modern_mans_hustle20@xanga - "I have found being the "nice guy" it tends
to lend yourself as a doormat to the women who cant figure out why all
the men they meet are jerks." - the truth
Somehow I cant figure out if being the nice guy will get me anywhere anymore, haha. I met a sweet girl, or at least I thought...I still cant tell. Treated her with respect, and made her feel special probably more than shes ever felt...and ultimately got kicked to the curb. Why? I didnt come on too strong, at least I dont think I did. I wasnt clingy or obnoxious, and we were able to talk for hours. Almost perfect right? Then she just stops talking to me. Great. Sometimes I think, maybe that's why we have so many dicks, cause they get f'd over in their lives, and learn that hey maybe by being a dick they'll like me, and I wont get hurt?
hmmmm from a person born a generation or two earlier all I can say is that it wasn't any easier then. Hearts were still broken and both men and women snubbed the other off. Yes, its true that we didn't have as many distractions or as you put them "outside forces that distroy a relationship." I tend to agree that these forces can have a negative impact on relationships. Then again, if someone is really into you, and you are into them, than nothing - not even these forces - will crush the relationship.
A few generations ago, with the exclusion of home phones which we used (and people still do to get in touch) we wrote letters and waited. We had stricter curfews and so we waited again etc etc. The point is that today, advances in technology and communication have made everything (even relationships and getting in touch with someone) "instantaneous." We've also forgotten to play the waiting game. That is, wait until you find someone you really like and who likes you. Look out for clues. If someone likes you, you will know. Don't settle for anything less. Set out what you want from the onset. Let men know you want a serious loving relationship (if that's what you're after) rather than a casual fling.
Hope you find what you're looking for. Until then, enjoy life in the company of good friends.
Everyone's talking about this kind of thing....i get what you're saying but not everyone is like this. First of all, i don't exactly understand what is meant by "unattainable", unless you're comparing super elite high class to those begging on the street. We don't normally encounter those type of people in our daily lives. Well i don't, because the only place i go to is college really. But actually, when you're my age, and feel so worthless and insignificant, anyone you like will probably seem unattainable. And if you actually end up with that person, it will seem like a miracle. That kind of thing happened to me, and it did seem like a miracle. It still does. Yet all i really want is true love from someone, affection and being wanted, you know, all that crap. Some people complain about the people of today never being satisfied and always trying to upgrade... well there are people like me too, and we don't always get what we want either... i don't know, this probably made no sense. I'm not being bitter toward the OP either, just bitter in general. And confused.
No one is ''unattainable'' or ''too good'' or better than you. It's all in your head. I don't think that dating is a bleak as you make it out to be...
Nice guys are a myth too. First few years of dating I always went for the nice quiet nerdy guys and more often then not they were just- boring. Yea they proclaimed to take care of me, but I need more independence than that. I don't want a boyfriend who is squishy in his ideals and tastes, who has action figures and can't let go of his childhood. And I'll NEVER date another gamer.
Agreeeeeed! I This point wraps my life! If you ever find the answer let me know, I am over running around like a chicken with it's head cut off wondering what to do next. Blaaah!
Elll love your way.
some nice guys are attracted to the shallow girls, who might be hotter than the geeky girls and complain when they get treated like crap. why don't nice guys just go for the nice girls. I meet jerks in disguise as nice guys. almost every guy that I've met was super nice in the beginning, then when they know that I really like him, he starts to act like a jerk because there is no more challenge to chase me and he takes me for granted. I look like a high maintenance girl but that is just my style, inside I'm a nice girl, who wants a guy that looks like a playboy on the outside but is also a sweetheart on the inside lol
i always went for the loud, obnoxious guy. then i went for the geeky, shy, wall flower guy. 4 years later i'm still with my geeky, shy, wall flower guy who makes me feel like a princess, still!
you just got to realize what kind of guys you've been dating and turn it around and try to date the opposite. you might find ur happiness. :P
*claps*
@DeathzDezign@xanga - Damn, that sucks. Yeah wouldn't be surprised if thats why there are a lot of guys who are dicks. You try being a nice guy and you get rejection. Eh, I would think in the end though the best thing you could do is keep on trying, cause do you really want to be a dick to a girl? I know a few friends of mine seem to be like that, actually gave me advice about dating and how I should treat a girl. Bad enough they said how I should go to a strip club to see a naked woman. Some of the stuff they said just wasn't right.
@P0RCELA1N_D0LL@xanga - Maybe because those nice girls ignore or are not interested in dating those nice guys?
@mcmeister89@mancouch - Lol. Thanks. ^-^
@Athlyx@xanga - It wasn't your fault. No matter what anyone does, they in NO WAY deserve to be hit. No one should ever put their hands on you. As for being born a few generations ago, the grass is always greener on the other side. Form a distance...
Idk, it just seems like people fall into these two extreme categories: really good or really bad. And there are all these varieties within these extremes. Well, I don't want to date a selfish jerk, but I also don't want to date the guy who is so busy being selfless he doesn't see the world. Another example: I don't want to date a drunk or a Pentecostal. Either way you meet a hypocrite and an addict.