Monday, 28 December 2009
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CRAZY (Psycho, and Insane) IN LOVE!!!
"If you love me, then you'd do it for me."
"I'm sorry, but I just can't!"
"Wow... Are you saying that you hate me? Great. My boyfriend hates me."
"I don't hate you. I never said I hated you!"
"Are you kidding?! You just said it, you big fat jerk!""I am so mad! Cheating is so wrong."
"Honey..."
"I mean, I understand you find other women attractive... but to cheat is completely unacceptable!"
"Honey, I-"
"How could you! I'm in complete shock right now! I can't believe you!"
"Honey! Calm down! How many times do I have to remind you that you only dreamt that I cheated on you..."
"Well... I'm still angry with you!""That's funny... Hey honey, do you know why all of my Inbox messages that I've never seen before are read? ... What are you doing with my phone? ... Are you reading my texts?!"
Any of this sound familiar?
While talking with a friend, the topic of "those crazy girlfriends" came up. You know, those girls who let their relationship take over their sanity... Those girls who are the last thing on a guy's mind to brag about but the first thing on a guy's mind to complain about... You know, those girls.
And at a time, it was girls like ME.
Yup, I'm admitting it. I'm not going to say I was proud of it, heck no.
When I did act insane or annoying, I probably didn't even realize it at the time. That kind of stuff... just happened.
I think the most annoying thing I would do was answer "no" to a question I wanted to say "yes" to.
For example:
"Are you okay?"
"UGH, yes..."
"...Cool, so anyway-"
*Instant argumentI know, I know, guys lack the ability to read minds and I'm an attention-wanting-chick who should have just said what I really meant. But I couldn't help it! Little things like that I seriously couldn't control. (Don't worry, I know better now!)
My best friend admitted to being a psycho girlfriend as well. But when she was psycho, it was at the beginning of her current relationship when she felt more insecure. Then when she and her boyfriend got closer, she became that cool girlfriend. You know, laid back, non paranoid, first thing that comes to mind kind of girl. What most girls are like. Me? I was completely backwards. I must have come off as completely insane to my first couple of boyfriends. At the beginning of relationships, I came off as cool and laid back. My best friend kind of girl. Only because I was trying to be. And it was hard! It was hard to care so much, to be laid back, to NOT be clingy. Hah. So of course the psycho in me came out which really bites. But I wasn't psycho just for fun, I was psycho because I cared about the relationship... (Yeah, I know. That made you laugh out loud, huh?) But it's true! I overreacted, I assumed, and accused only because I cared. I admit I was one of those psycho crazy psycho girlfriends. Again, not proud.
I always wanted to save the relationship but I guess I probably destroy it. I know there are probably some other girls out there who do extreme crazy psycho girlfriends things that don't even compare but my ex boyfriends would consider me crazy. All I'm saying is that those girls just have their reasons of dealing with things they way they do. My reason was because I was just insecure, I guess. I believe I've recovered fully and am pretty darn healthy now, haha. But to the psycho girlfriends out there, stop and BREATHE. It'll be okay.
Guys, have you ever dealt with one of those girls? (Like how I was) If so, how did you deal?
And girls, how do you think you act in a relationship? If you're sane, how do you do it?! (Haha)
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About the Author
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- From: shillykins
- About Me: I love talking but sometimes have trouble finding someone who will listen to me rant... That is why I blog. JUST created a Datingish account but still use my Xanga! I just want to start arranging all my Datingish blogs on something seperate than my random, unorganized Xanga so add me! :)
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Comments (53)
I suggest you read Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood. It's a beautiful perspective of acting like this when "in love."
Love is the best feeling in the world
I've been like that before, and I've found that it's always linked to insecurity. The last serious relationship I had had was with a very attractive person whose friends always wanted to date him. He never told me that he thought I was beautiful, etc....and so I clung very tightly to him - crazy jealous, clingy, and all the in between...I was truly afraid of losing him. I honestly think that I can blame him for my behaviors as much as blame myself. I would always ask him to tell me nice things and he never would. So yeah....don't always blame yourself for your insecurities. Sometimes they are only made worse by the person you are dating.
But now, I am dating a different guy and he is a 100% sweetheart. No crazy so far!
Best of luck in your current relationship!
most of the time i am cool, but sometimes i feel a crazy-monster swelling inside of me. lol i think its just something inside most girls - prob some guys too. i'm usually fairly capable of channeling it well, though.
like, one time, i saw a pic of my bf lying on the floor in his school lounge, and a bunch of female friends were crowding around him, one holding his face, etc... and i know them all, and most of them are actually lesbian, and i know my bf cares more about me than any other girl, lol ... but idk. was still like AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
so i just commented on the facebook pic, "hey hey, that's a one lady job!" and he commented after me that they'all better step down, and most of them just laughed and backed off. simple, nice, easy, cool.
i'm passive aggressive in relationships. if it doesn't seem like that big of a deal, i won't mention that i'm annoyed or anything. but eventually it just builds up and i just get angry at him over a bunch of little things that have happened.
I have a lot of trust issues.....due to some certain assholes in my dating past....so.....I'd probably lean more towards the psycho state.....half the time I don't even realize that I'm doing it until the relationship is sputtering it's last breath.....::sigh::
I've always been the more stable and consistant person. There have been times when I have gotten jealous and started getting bitchy but it's wasn't just because. I'm a confident person, I know I'm caring and honest about my feelings. The times when I have gotten crazy have been after I've been cheated on or when the girl I was with started acting shady. Usually though, I try to be fair and just take a breath. It takes a lot to get me mad or really worked up one way or the other. But man, I can attest to going psycho. I was such an emotional wreck once I was digusted with myself once I pulled out of it. I felt like I let myself down for letting someone treat me that way and for not letting go sooner. I ended up being more angry at myself then her atually.
@The_Life_Of_A_Poet2@xanga - You know what helps? Try your hardest to give each person a fresh start. No new guy you meet is those assholes you dated before. Remember that he's not so and so, or so and so. You know what I mean?
It comes in... spurts.
I'm usually incredibly nice...
But, once he's mean to me. It's on. ahaha.
@My_Imperfect_Words@xanga - I knew exactly what you mean! That's one of my new year's resolutions- because what I'm doing is making the new people pay for my ex's mistakes....and that's not fair. You're totally right!
i think it does stem from being insecure but a lot of times when a woman feels like this there are reasons. Would you continue to act crazy if you didn't find anything, if they reassured you when you needed it, or acted like they cared and truly listened. i think men make women afraid to communicate because men are sometimes unable to communicate at an emotional level so instead we pull covert ops to figure out what the hell is going on! Men are simple, women are complicated.
@The_Life_Of_A_Poet2@xanga - I know it's hard but it's so true. Other people can do it, and you can too. :) You'll be happier as a result I think.
@skeeziix - WOOT, I agree.
Oh yes, been there. Women like us get so "consumed" of the relationship, we forget our individuality and forget to keep that aspect up. After 3 exes and now dating my best friend/current bf, I still haven't learned. I mean, I've improved tremendously, but still have a ways to go. And I'm 23.
Just have to take a step back, breathe for a second, and see if it's worth getting crazy psycho over. Most of the time, it isn't.
@skeeziix - This is so true! In my last relationship I got pretty needy and clingy when he wasn't acting right, and at one point took his phone from him to read messages.... I was home with him for spring break, and he'd been texting this chick he just met that night saying they should keep in touch... Wasn't really paying much attention to me while we were out.... We broke up at the end of that week (he still tells me how horrible he feels, but that's another story). My current boyfriend doesn't put me in a position to feel "crazy." Sometimes I am a little "silly" as my bf puts it, and I get a little frustrated over silly stuff, but it doesn't reach the point where I don't trust him, or where I get so mad I want to yell at him... He just hugs me and tells me he loves me when I get upset over silly stuff, and then I feel better. The closest to me feeling insecure about any other girls was knowing he'd be home around his ex, who is newly single... I brought it up and he said he would never want to date her again, that he's happier with me than he ever was with her. End of story, I stopped worrying about her. It's a two-way street... women are less likely to go to crazy girlfriend territory when their boyfriend is reassuring...
I don't act that way because girls like that annoy me to no end. I hate insecure girls who need to make a big deal out of nothing. My sister is that way. And I have watched way to many of my guy friends deal with stupid girls like that. And anytime, ANYTIME, I feel like I am about to have a psycho meltdown, I step back and think hard, and calm down, because I am not that way, and never ever want to be though of that way.
The only time I blow up is with reason, and then I still stay to this side of crazy.
Sorry, but it's my personal opinion that insecure people, not just girls, but guys too, shouldn't be in a relationship of any kind. If you are insecure you should be ALONE! And save all that drama because nobody needs it or wants it. I always find it funny when the insecure chicks I know, either my friends or the idiots my friends are dating finally get dropped for all their stupid, moronic, immature, insecure bullshit.
wow. just wow. that texting thing. thats such an invasion of privacy. thats unbelieveable! im sure you wouldnt want everyone knowing every juicy detail.
i'm sure none of this is that bad though. not every relationship ends (or technically starts sometimes) without someone doing some fucked up shit. of course, im not really one to judge people. take er' easy, breath. noone cares, unless they don't like you. you're writing makes you seem so likeable though, so i can't imagine what reason would anyone would have to try to put you down haha.
my general advice is to know what (or with who) you're getting involved with (heh), take care, have fun, and watch something nice. up's a good movie! but thats always my general advice haha.
@TerrorSak@xanga - I made up those first three senarios. I wanted this blog to start out funny in a way. Haha, I didn't want to anger people.
@shillykins - ah, ok! yeah, bullshit is hard to detect on the internet. good to know that texting thing isn't true.
who's angry? i don't get angry haha.
I admit I'm like this sometimes, haha.
I just recently ruined a relationship by being a psycho girlfriend. I was not always a psycho girlfriend, but recent happenings in my life and having a psycho ex boyfriend, has caused me to turn into a psycho girlfriend. Its good to know im not the only one. I can completely relate to your blog. I answered questions oppositely of how i really felt, I caused drama and destroyed a wonderful relationship, simply because I am insecure. Hopefully one day I can be laid back again and have a healthy relationship....
you should be focused on your own life and doing things w/o your bf too. he wants to hang out with his friends as well. dont always be available, and trust until you have a reason not to. at that point, the relationship should probably be over anyway or shouldn't have started
One of my best friends was a psycho girlfriend. Her boyfriend at the time sucked... but she was horrible to him too. It was the most dysfunctional relationship I have ever witnessed and it lasted 3 years. I knew he was a sucky boyfriend (as in he didn't put in the effort she did... he never mistreated her though), but I felt sorry for him at the same time because he didn't deserve to be treated that way. I mean, she would yell at him and slap him in public (happened at the zoo once)! I think they finally realized how destructive their relationship was to each other and ended it. She is waaay more chill with her current boyfriend now. But seriously, I have stories of how crazy she used to be.
Don't be afraid to apologize. If something is wrong, say so by TALKING not yelling. Also, I try to look at the situation from both sides.
I did get a little insecure about my boyfriend but i just had to remind myself that he's with me for a reason.
@MaNgOGaLx812x@xanga - O.O scary