It's been a long time since I was in a serious relationship, having spent the last couple of years dating around and "sowing my oats." Now, I'm interested in someone again and before it has even started, I'm thinking of all the ways it could go wrong.
I know this new boy is not my exes, but it's like I can't get my head to shut down and stop thinking about all the ways those relationships got screwed up. (Maybe it doesn't help that a
recent song I've become obsessed with is about how a relationship will fail.)
I'm a lot more ready to get serious now than I was at 19 or 20, which is why so many of my relationships ended. I dated boys who were older than me, ready to settle down and start their lives. But this one is my age and definitely has a life similar to what I see myself having.
Has this happened to anyone else, or am I alone with this brain that won't shut down? Am I doomed to mess this up before it even really progresses? What did you do to get over yourself?
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Yeah, and every time I jump in anyways, and every time it turns out exactly the same as the time before and I swear I will never do it again....and then I do. Horrible.
It's really hard to open yourself up to another individual. I wish you luck! Maybe this one's the one!
Try not to stress about the future. If it looks good, it probably is. Take it as it comes, and if it works, it works. Don't try to force things- otherwise, it probably will go awry.
I have the same issue. I just try not to think about the past too much but that's always easier said than done. Good luck with the new boy. :)
I feel you, but don't let your past shadow your future (I'll take my own advice eventually), just learn from it, if you are really ready for the relationship to go somewere you and the new boy will work on it together and it will work. Good luck to you.
i have the same issues too but to get out of that way of thinking, think of all the good things that may come out of this new relationship with this new guy. you gotta stay positive.
Yea...I know what you mean. I also tend to thing about the downsides and all the possible problems and ways the relationship could fail. Idk exactly how to fix this pessimistic way of being but I am trying to start trusting guys even though I know it may not work and sure I could get hurt...but I just think that if it doesn't work or ends badly it wasn't meant to be.
There is a possibility that you've sensed a red flag that you overlooked.
However, I would suggest letting go of the past and think positively.
This happens to my girlfriend all the time. She analyzes and over analyzes things constantly. I think she stresses herself out and knocks herself down more than anyone, or anything else. Just try to take a breath. Maybe there's something else going on that you need to solve before you get involved with someone else. I love my girlfriend so much, and I'd do anything for her. It's just hard sometimes when she's always wondering what I mean, and why I say things. I say what I mean and I remind her all the time that I don't "just say things." He's not going to be able to help you calm yourself down, you need to be able to. Or maybe he will. If so, drop me a comment. Lol. :p
I'm sure this happens to everybody at the start of a new relation. For myself, I would say there are a few things that went wrong in my previous relationship that I do not want to repeat. They would be 'dealbreaking' things. I think then that it is important that you talk about things at some point or another with your new partner. As an example, let's say that your ex used to flirt with other women and this annoyed you enormously. Try to make that clear from the start and perhaps you will fare better this time.
Other than that, relationships brings many good and happy times with them. Think about those, and enjoy them. There will be trouble along the way, sure. But that's normal and you shouldn't worry about these things now. Good luck!