I always thought it was a girl thing to be curious about an ex or duck and cover to avoid an ex. But apparently it applies to guys too.
I was out with some friends celebrating a birthday and the minute I stepped into the bar, my guy friend pulls me aside and tells me "God, it's going to be an interesting night." Of course I asked him why and he whispers "Do you know who's here?" It turns out his ex was at the same bar but in the back room.
A little background story on them. They went out for a year 2 years ago which ended with him breaking up with her. She was a very controlling girlfriend and they constantly fought. She then tried to get back with him and waited a whole year for him to reconsider which during that whole entire time, he avoided her, ignored her text and screened her calls. Then last year, we heard from a mutual friend that she's moved on and is now with another guy.
So back to the story, my friend then asked me to go to the back room and check out her new boyfriend because he was curious to see who it is or what he looks like. Now, I do not condone on what he did because he pulled such a dick move during the whole entire time she was trying to contact him and he wanted nothing to do with her. I admit, I was curious to check him out too but I said "No" and told my friend to leave her alone. After all, I'm pretty sure she doesn't want to see him now or maybe she doesn't care. But since I'm his friend first, the minute I step back there and she sees me, she's going to know he sent me to check them out. He tries to convince me and gets my curiosity going. He then tells me he really wants to know if she "upgraded" or "downgraded" from him. My answer to that was a smack to the back of his head.
Yes, I was guilty of that behavior in the past too but it's usually the other way around. As in, I'm only curious if it was the guy who broke up with me, and not me with him. So does it not matter? Are exes just curious no matter who broke up with who and why are you so curious if you're the one who wanted nothing to do with them in the first place?
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Comments (13)
well i mean. i would be curious too.... and i would go over there and check them out myself with a hint of sneakiness of course. i guess it's just human nature sometimes. to be curious and wanting to know something we're not suppose to.
I want all my exes to end up with tight-fisted, small penised, grumpy and balding men. Not a downgrade as such - but definitely not an improvement.
http://plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/
I think it's human nature to be curious and also everyone is at least a little insecure to some degree. Your friend may have ignored her the whole time but secretly loved the fact that this girl just can't get over him and he's probably flattered by all her attempts. Even though he's not reciprocating them. Now that she's with someone else and has stopped all the flattery, he wants to know who's getting all the attention now.
Everyone, boys and girls, loves the fact that someone is up their ass kissing it because it's a sign that you're desired and it's a big ego booster. Regardless if you like them back.
curiosity is natural. i guess if the guy broke up with you, you'd be curious who he finds "better" or more suitable to date. if you broke up with him, you probably don't care as much. you did the right thing at the bar, though i'd probably be too curious and try to be sneaky about it. lol. otherwise, i'd have to keep hearing him wonder/complain about it.
@c0c0nut - this is true
I don't think him avoiding her was dick at all. If you break up with someone because it's not working out and you've made up your mind, you shouldn't be obligated to talk to them. He did a good thing because she probably would have held on even longer if they communicated.
As for the curiousity thing goes, people are curious creatures. Hell, that why we discover and invent things. Trail and error. We do things just to see what'll happen. :shrugs: Anyway. Just because he doesn't want to be with her doesn't mean he doesn't care. Hell, obviously he cared if they dated so long even though they fought on a regular basis. It's completely believable that an ex could be intereted in who you're dating because they want to know if that person is a piece of shit or not.
It was very nice on your part! Good job (= I believe more people should behave like you! Unfortunately my friends are NOT like that....they tell my ex what i say about him, and what he says about me....it's very annoying and inconsiderate. So kudos to you!!!
It's very normal to want to see who your ex ends up with. It can be in a derogatory way or the opposite, depending on the person. I think your friend is just curious even though he broke up with her. I mean, even he did break up with her, he DID cared about her deeply when they were together. And I'm assuming he loved her once, so it's normal to be curious about who that person you were so in love with ends up dating in the end.
@MissPixieGlitter@xanga - I like the way you put it.."curiosity is natural. i guess if the guy
broke up with you, you'd be curious who he finds "better" or more
suitable to date. if you broke up with him, you probably don't care as
much."
Um a lot of the time, I don't care who an ex- or whatever is dating...but I am curious just to see what they look like...or what they seem like..just to know I guess...no biggie.
I don't usually care what an ex is doing with his dating life. I mean, if someone happens to tell me who they're dating or whatever, that's cool, it's nice to know what people are up to when you no longer talk to them but I'm not going to go out of my way and snoop around.
Well my ex was a college drop out, assistant manager of an ice cream shop. My best friend said he looked like the keebler elf! But after I broke up with HIM, I still checked from time to time to see whom he'd discovered better than me! Just like they all said, Human nature! :)
~Andy (OTBV)
I'm always curious to see who my exes end up with after we've broken up. But, I really don't go out of my way to find out or have my friends find out who they are with these days. I think it's normal to want to know who they end up with after you've broken up.
I prefer not to know who my ex is going out with now because it just hurts if you think about it too much.
However, if they're publically dating I would like to be informed in case I run into her. Otherwise, I don't give a duck.
I don't really care what my ex is doing or who they're dating. People move on, and after awhile it just shouldn't matter anymore. Especially if you're content with where you are now.