you'd probably have a really hard time letting go even if you tried because you want to be with him. but you deserve a lot more than to be his back-up girlfriend and you both need to realize that. if you leave, he'll realize how much he needs you in his life and maybe that will trigger change, good or bad, i don't know. but if it's meant to be, it should work out.

I have been with my boyfriend for two years and feel no connection there at all anymore. I like other guys that have too been my friend for months and I talk to them everyday. I feel as though I wouldn't mind being with this other person but yet I am still with Jaaa and feel as though I'm trapped. I am giving you insight to what the other side of the spectrum is thinking. It's something we know, something that is comfortable. It doesn't always make us happy to stay and put up with shit every day but it feels safe. Part of us wants to let go and be with the other while the other part wants to stay! Mostly we are afraid.. Of what you may ask? That's where is gets tricky. I don't know why I am so afraid to leave Jaaa and try with someone else. I mean it's not like I will never ever find someone else if it didn't work with either guys [Jaaa or the other guy] But I mean I still make myself hold on to a relationship that is practically over. I think you should keep your options as open as possible.. hold on to that fire and keep being yourself with him but also see other guys and weigh your options. Some may think that this would be considered "whore" behavior but who cares what they think. This is your ONLY chance at life, why not weigh options while you can. Why not let yourself fall in love over and over again and not settling when it just burns out, why not laugh and smile all day everyday! Be happy girl and do what makes you happy. You have to, it's you running your life. If you hand it over, you won't ever be as happy as if you just do what you want.

Latoshia love your way!

I dont think i'd ever put myself in that situation. Have you ever met his girlfriend? Because although he may appear to be closer to you than her, at the end of the day he still chose her instead. He's still -with- her offically. If he cared more about you, couldn't you expect him to atleast provide you with the -minimum- title?

"John" is putting himself in the position where he can have a girlfriend & have flings. I'm not sure that kind of guy is worth it but hey, it's your call.

Maybe people should date a long time before they get married so they know if it will suck or if when a person gets in an insecure or bored place they will cheat.

he's a disgusting excuse for a guy. if he was really as great as you say, he'd grow some balls and stop treating his girlfriend like that.

if you stay with him even though you know about her, youre no better.

dude, he's dating someone and is using you.  he'll probably cheat on you if you two go out.

let it go. this is the story of my life.

I had something similar happen to me. I dated this boy, we broke up. Then months later, we started talking again. &, he got a girlfriend. For a whole month, I waited and waited. Then finally, i got tired of waiting and I told him that I felt like I was just back-up. We didn't "hook-up" or anything but he would tell me stuff like how he wished he wasn't dating her because she didn't really know him. And, how he'd feel bad about breaking her heart. Finall,y, I told him that I didn't want to wait anymore and wanted him to make a choice.  &, it worked and I've been with him for almost half a year ! I think you should tell him that you're not sure if you're just a back up and that it's breaking your heart waiting because you want more. If he's scared to try another relationship, that might give him the little push he needs. I'd say just let him go, but I know how hard that'd be, nearly impossible, right?

I've been in your position before. And I've been on the other side. (yeah, my old self doesn't give me a good rep....at all...but I learned a lot).
As difficult as it may be, it's important for you to have a conversation about what exactly it is that you two are doing, and what it means to both of you. Communication is so important in relationships- friendships, romantic, family, etc. It seems there isn't clear communication in the relationship he has with the girlfriend he's cheating on.
I would recommend leaving him. It's going to be hard, especially because you've grown so close to him.
It took me a good five months AFTER what me and my guy best friend had going on ended until I realized he was just using me. He never wanted to be with me in a defined relationship because he didn't want to "ruin our friendship".
We still haven't had a conversation about what really went down, but I've wanted to for a long time. I can't stress enough how important communication is in relationships.

I wish you the best of luck!  

I was reading, but got distracted by the abundant quotations ("   ").

Meh.  Flip a coin.

if you don't know now, you'll never know lol he is a player and is telling you exactly what you want to hear to make you think that you are special, so you'd be attached to him and be his booty call/side companion. he is using you and manipulating your feelings. stay until you get caught and deal with more drama or go with what dignity you have left because he is just stringing you along. if his gf breaks up with him, you are his rebound, and if you break up with him and move on, he'll still have his gf. he'll keep you around with empty promises as long as you are willing to let him sweet talk you. since you are the other woman that he is cheating with, he isn't giving you his full heart like you deserve because he isn't willing to leave his gf to be with you.

If he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you.

Six months?  Having sex on occasion?  He's still with the girl that supposedly doesn't "understand" him?  You're thinking of being exclusive to him?