I met a boy back jr. year of high school. When I first saw him I had a crush on him. Just by the way he dressed and talked I could tell I was going to get along with him. Sure enough we became good friends. I soon realized he was not the boyfriend type. He was not the most affectionate guy out there. Still I admitted it to my friends that I liked him. Not a month later my friend admitted to me she had a crush on him also. This really got me angry! These were my thoughts toward her: Why are you checking out the guy I have a crush on! Some loyal friend you are!
The good thing was that he was completely annoyed by her. Phew. I had nothing to worry about. Later, after high school, him and I were hanging out again. And I invited my other friend to hang out with us. She knew I had a crush on him still. Also, both she and I had just gotten out of a relationship. Well she practically launched herself at him. Sat on his lap and played footsie with him, right in front of me! I don't hold any bad feelings toward her, but she did go out with him for a month.
Now a couple of months later, him and I have been hanging out. Just the two of us. And Well I still like him. And he has been more affectionate with me now than before...
Is it ever okay to date a friend's ex?
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Comments (56)
they were together for a month, do it.
I never understood why it wasn't okay....
It's completely taboo for me. I tend to date relatively attractive girls exclusively though, and all my friends pick up my "leftovers" so to say. I've never had an ex that hasn't gone out with a close friend after me.
In your situation it seems okay though.
Go ahead and try it out. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. But they only went out for only a little bit.. So it shouldn't be too much trouble.
it's only a month. besides you liked him first.
It isn't as though she doesn't deserve it...
not ok. But..... hhhmmmmm. dang, she messed things up for you. BUt hey...why are you doing this to yourself? He didnt like you before and didnt see an interest in you then...arent you a tad insulted? I say...dont date him for that sole reason. If a guy met you, didnt you like you once, twice, and finally now....he must be Forcing himself to go for you.
As a guy, I wouldn't do it, though I think the rules are different between boys and girls as to what the rules of engagement are and aren't.
@oOBuBBLes711Oo@xanga - yeah i think ur right...n she even says he isn't the boyfriend type.
theres times when its okay and there's times when it isn't.
in ur situation it's okay because you liked him first.
its not like she liked him then you began to like him and him and her went out, then you still like him and want to date.
theres a difference.
but yeah.
go for it.
just forget about her if she has an issue with it.
good luck.
He was yours first. Why feel bad about hurting her feelings if she did it to you? It's only fair.
I've never agreed with the "you liked him first, he's yours" mentality. People change, times change, etc.
This isn't really a question of whether or not it's okay... It's really a question of whether or not the consequences are worth it. Will your friend be hurt? Will it affect your friendship in a negative way? Do you value the prospect of this romantic relationship more than you value the friendship? Will it bother you to know your friend dated him first?
Talk to people. Think it out. Then decide.
You sound way too immature to be dating.
@wingedferret@xanga - You're an idiot. You don't own people. He wasn't anybodies.
@aplynch1@xanga - To say something so girly makes me even doubt you have a penis.
I like it, thanks! You know, I know some people who have been trying to express that same sentiment to me for years, though have not been able to be quite so upfront about their, and your, discomfort with my writing style and other forms of self-expression I enjoy.
hell no, it's never ok to date a friend's ex. if you were my friend and you dated my ex, we'd never be friends again. my ex-bff just did this to me recently, i took her off my friend faster than the speed of light.
They were together for a month? That doesn't seem like a long relationship at all. I would do it, and if she's petty enough to have a problem with you going out with him, then she's not really a friend anyhow.
Depends On How Close Everyone Was If It Would Ruin Your Friendship And They mean That Much To You Dont Do It. If not Freaking Go For It!!! :D
If you don't wana lose the friendship with the girl, then don't do it.
But if you don't really care, then do it.
I've seen this happen to a couple of good friends of mine a few years back. Things are cordial now, but the history's there, and back then it was ugly. After being a non-participating witness, I've come to conclude that if you're interested in your friend's ex, ask your friend before you make the first move. That's a sign of respect, and it goes a loong way in your friend's eyes. Some may think this as unnecessary/corny/stupid/etc. But I'm sure others feel the same way as I do. I asked my pal's permission to pursue his ex, and even though it didn't work out, his response was: "You're all right in my book." No regrets.
was in a very similar situation. let them do what the want. my honest advice to YOU topic creator is to shut the fuck up and not be such a complete dickhead. you'll lose all friends otherwise.
To me this all depends on a couple things.
1.How long they went out. (For them it was 1 month not that big a deal.)
2.How long it has been since they dated. (I am assuming its been a while so you should be good)
and 3. (I know this is childish but...) Try talking to your friend and seeing if she is cool with you two dating.
Personally I try to stay away from friends ex's but that is mostly because my last serious relationship one of my closest friends started dateing less than 24 hours after the break up. We had been together for close to a year (in h.s. thats pretty amazing to date that long) and I called her crying because I had heard a rumer that they were going to start dating and asked her not to because I was still in ...erm well at the time I thought I was in love but now I know better, but then it was a big deal and I thought we were "ment to be." Hopefully I have helped you at least a little and sorry for the storry. >.<
You must seriously be the shitty remains of their relationship. Consider becoming an hero?
how is that your friend's ex ?