It's really hard to not feel like you have the support of your family. Even when they tell me "do what you want, it's your life" I don't like feeling like they are letting me make my own mistakes when I think of my relationship as the farthest thing from a mistake. It's not that they don't like him, they hate me being in a relationship...they are all unhappy in their marriages and they don't want me to settle down until I'm 30 and have dated everyone on the universe.
I know, they just want me to be happy. I just want them to be happy for me, to be glad I'm in a relationship. They know how fantastic he is, and they admit it. But they still won't accept that I'm not dating a bunch of people. I only have one friend who I know doesn't support it and she would never say that to me now that I'm in a relationship, and that means everything to me.
Why is communication always so hard in families?
Why can't I ever get through to my mom? I have a great relationship with my mother but despite that we still can't seem to communicate effectively. I just want her to hear me, which I don't feel like she ever has. I know she tries, and I love her for it. I just wish families were easier. I wish I wasn't constantly worried about my father, I wish there was someone that could convince him to take care of himself so he could be there to walk me down the aisle someday. I'm terrified he won't be. The same is true of my mother though. I've been begging her to quite smoking since I was 3 and all my attempts have failed. It's so hard to watch the wonderful people in my life sink. It hurts. I'm never going to be that way. Me and Josh stopped smoking because we want to be around as long as possible.
I don't want to just exist, I want to live. I'm scared because I know so many people who say these things and then end up like my parents. I just have to be in control of my own future. I just hope my parents are happy for me and I hope that they are around to watch me live. Someday when I get married, will they be happy for me? I hope so. It hurts me that I know that I can't tell my parents that it's a very good possibility I will end up with Josh. I suppose I need to stop worrying about everyone else..
Do your parents support your relationship?
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Comments (6)
they just want you to see what's out there bfore committing yourself to just one person. they don't want you to get hurt. i had a hard time understanding that before, but after a few heartbreaks, you learn that your parents just want the best for you, and they won't stop nagging until they know you have the best of everything...which is impossible, but at least they have the right intentions. i found talking to my mom about my relationships really helped, what i feel, how i want to go about doing things, what my SO and i fight about...things like that. it's nice to know that she's there to support me and figure out my problems with me, and if i ever need to convince my dad about something, she's the perfect person to step in and help out with it. families are never easy to deal with, but you love them and you try to work it out no matter what, and that's what counts.
I'm not in one, but my parents don't approve of me marrying someone of a different religion. But that won't stop me. (=,
*sigh* im in a similar boat...my parents dont accept my relationship...they make excuse after excuse and bitch all day.
I was in the same boat as you with my last boyfriend. My parents actually did have some legitimate complaints about him, and in the end I broke up with him, but the "you haven't dated enough" argument was one that always irked me.
I think parents today are just unaware of how the dating scene and male-female relationships have changed since they were growing up. When my mom was younger, you got to know a guy by going out on a few dates with him, now it is more acceptable to just be friends with someone of the opposite sex. The dating scene has changed too - when our parents were dating it was just going out for coffee or seeing a movie, now, with a lot of guys, if you don't have sex within a month you're a boring prude! I explained some of these things to my mom, and with my current boyfriend she has pretty much left me alone. Of course, she also likes him, as opposed to the last guy, so it's possible she could have been using any argument she could think of to get me to get rid of him. :P
Haha, mine stay far away from my personal life. My parents are really controlling and emotionally and verbally abusive, to the point where I'm ready to leave at a minute's notice. I can take a lot of that crap, but I told them that if they got involved in my relationships or dating life, I'd get the heck out and cut all contact with them, no questions asked.
I reiterated this when I got serious with my current boyfriend, who is my "one". If they make him unhappy, if they try to interfere or hold me back, I'm leaving, and they will never see or hear from me again.
My home life has been hell for 7 years, and I've gone through some tough shit. I can't stand losing the one thing I have to hold on to, so I keep them from interfering when I can.
Actually, I have the exact opposite problem, but the general lack of familial support is the same. My ex of not quite 3 years and I broke up this past August but have remained friends, and everyone keeps hassling me to take him back when he's the one who ended things in the first place. It does suck not to have your parents or anyone else close to you supporting the decisions you make, whether its school or jobs or relationships or whatever.
I feel for you on this one, for sure