I still like a certain amount of privacy in any relationship. I don't care if you've seen if all, when I'm peeing, I need the door closed. When I'm in the shower, that's my time. I don't like being watched as I put on my my makeup - I don't care if you've seen me without it, I still don't like you sitting there watching me do it. My boyfriend however, doesn't seem any of those things should matter.
His theory,
I've seen you naked, what different does it make.
- I've seen you without make up and without your hair done, why do you care if I watch you do it. - The shower curtain should be enough privacy... I'd never been in a relationship where any of this was a problem. I'd been picked up at my door for a date, and dropped off again at the end of the night. If I'd spent the night, I'd make sure I had my privacy, and not give the guy a chance to see me before I was ready to be seen.
He doesn't invade
my privacy, which is awesome. It's the other way around that
bothers surprises
me. He lives alone, and I have no problem if he chooses to leave the bathroom door open when he's peeing...when he's alone. He's started peeing with the door open, while I'm there. I was in the bathroom getting ready while he was out on a run - with the door open. Nothing I really
needed privacy for. He comes home and we start chatting. I see him walk behind me in the mirror, and kiss my cheek as I'm getting ready. Not a problem. The problem? He's butt naked, and hops in the shower, and continues the conversation.
Okay, so it's not really a
problem. I just think it's funny, in a relationship, when it suddenly becomes okay to leave the bathroom door open and shower while the other person is in the room. It leaves
nothing to the imagination. I know it's been over a year, and I should have expected that this point would come, it just still somehow surprised me.
And while I say those harmless little things sort of bother me, I love what that means. It means we've made it this far already, and we're not scared of anything.
How much privacy do you like in your relationship?
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Comments (61)
I'd like to be comfortable in a relationship that I don't have to hide anything in privacy from my partner, but that's really unrealistic.
we shower together soo.. i dont think that's weird. and i dont really care if he watches me do my makeup. peeing w the door open or the other person in the room tho? = still weird ....
yeah...no guy is ever going to see me use the bathroom. i'm ok with him watching me get ready, primp, put on make-up, and for some reason brushing our teeth at the same time warms my heart
even showering together...that can be fun 
but when i'm peeing (or more!), that door needs to be closed. the end.
I think the only line I draw is with pooping. Pooping is not an activity to be shared in this relationship! Everything else is ok --peeing, showering, brushing teeth, primping, shaving, etc. But no poop! =P
haha...i had the same thing happen to me. i hated how he would start peeing when i was in the shower...how he got in the shower when i was in there..how he shaved while i was peeing, lol. i told him i hated it and all he said was...well, we have already seen each-other naked. lol. its funny is all that you have the same problem. i just had to get use to it cause it was his place...not mine.
Yeah, I like my privacy too but we still go to the bathroom with the door closed...I mean, it wouldn;t matter..but still! its more comfortable that way
@just_the_average_jane@xanga - Agreed.
I guess it may be a little different b/c I'm married, but we never care. We pretty much do everything in front of each other. My only exceptions are going #2 (he keeps the door open, but i can't do it. plus, who wants to smell that?!) and (for some reason) masturbating. those are the only things i won't do in front of him.
I'm pretty comfortable in most relationships, but I draw the line when it comes to going to the bathroom. Just a time that doesn't need to be shared.
@just_the_average_jane@xanga - Yea no poop. At all. I need my alone time with that. I can't stand if someone is trying to talk to me during that situation. XD
Typically I will aim for being alone when using the toilet or shower but the rest of the stuff doesn't matter. However my husband is one of those who is really weird about peeing/pooping privacy so I purposely start peeing or pooping in front of him just to be evil. LOL
@just_the_average_jane@xanga - Hahaha, that's my rule, too!
Some of the things you posted seem really high maintenence.
The usual common sense parts when privacy comes into effect.
I think part of what's so annoying about it is that yes, he has seen you naked, but in a sexy, sensual way. Peeing in front of a guy? Not so sexy.
My boyfriend and I shower together, but we don't use the restroom in front of each other, or shave in front of each other. He's seen me do my makeup, which feels weird but I think he has a deeper appreciation for how I look afterwards.
Lol. I have been in the bathroom while my girlfriend was peeing, or visa versa, but we giggle and grin about it the whole time. It is a little awkward, but I mean, everyone pees. Lol. :shrugs: Pooping.. Uhh... I don't even talk about it, let alone do I want her to be in the room. Lol. After that, I like brushing our teeth together, even if I'm not one of those commercial brushers where it's all neat and glamorous. Lol. I try to keep the access toothpaste running to a minimum but whatever. Lol. :smiles and shrugs:
I don't wear make-up but my girlfriend doesn't seem to mind me watching her get ready. Unless I'm not and then she tells me to go get dressed because when she's done she's leaving. Lol. Love her. Shaving? It's not that big of a deal, legs, underarms, not a problem. "Down there" lol. It doesn't really happen unless we're showering solo.
I close and lock the door to go to the bathroom, of course, and as does he. Way too weird, even if we are engaged and about to get married. Also, we do shower together, but I won't let him watch me shave lol i don't know why. Other than that, everything is pretty much out in the open.
seems like he's just that comfortable with you. i mean it's all individual basis on what comfort level they have
I hate it when my ex would watch me put on make up, even though he's seen me without make up all the time though. We would always take showers together though, brush teeth together and most of that stuff.
I don't particularly like seeing a boyfriend pee, and there's no way in hell any boyfriend of mine is seeing me do my business on the toilet. Showering together seems great to me, though.
My recent exboyfriend once walked into the shower while I was in there. I was not comfortable with this at all. For a couple weeks beforehand he had threatened to do it, and I'd be like, "Seriously. No. Don't." Well, this particular time, he didn't listen and walked right in. So I walked right out. Luckily it was at the end of my shower (Yeah, I don't think he exactly walked in there to shower). To get him back, I took the towel out with me and then made him stand in there for about ten minutes dripping wet before letting him have the towel. The reason why he didn't walk back to my room without a towel? I have three roommates. :)
But no really, I should have known right then that he wasn't worth my time when he couldn't respect my wishes/privacy. He'd also share drinks and that's just something I've always been weird about. If a guy can't accept your quirks and what you ask him not to do, he's really not worth your time in my opinion.
(Oh and for the record-- he would pick the bathroom door's lock to get in.)
I don't really like it a lot when he watches me do my makeup, but I just let him because he thinks it's interesting and I know he'd get annoyed if I started shooing him away.
Definitely would draw the line at the bathroom thing, though. There is such a thing as too much information. :/
@mirrorslie@xanga - wtf... props for dumping him.
If he HAS to come in while I shit, then fine.. but only if he's late and needs to grab his razor or something. but why the hell would he want to come in when im stinking up the restroom? Who knows. I'm okay with anything, as long as he know what he's asking for.
@just_the_average_jane@xanga - i agree!