I've been reading personal finance blogs here and there for awhile, and lately I've been seeing a lot about discussing money and finance in relationships.
One
website cites a New York Times article that said that before couples get serious, they should sit down together and check out each other's credit history. That kind of shocked me, because if I'm not already serious with someone, it's definitely not their business. I understand if you're maybe getting ready to get married, it becomes relevant then, but definitely not before getting serious.
What do you think? Do you discuss finances with your significant others? Is a person's credit history a concern when you're deciding to date them?
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Comments (9)
I discuss finances with my current SO. We both go to college and have large loans, so we compare. It's just another part of the relationship or something to talk about.
The only time I've had issues with finances and my SO was my last boyfriend. He was a moocher. I've never paid for so much in my life for someone, it was ridiculous. And why I started paying for it? Because he eventually told me about his 8k credit card debt and I felt bad for him.
I don't care if someone has money or not, I care if you can handle what you have. Because I don't want to have to handle me and someone else.
I don't mind if people know I have had bad credit. I mean sometimes people mess up, as long as you're getting back on track, then good for you.
Because I have.
It was identity fraud and it's been taken care of now, but I mean that's not the first thing I'm going to tell someone.
Nope, i dont think thats any of there business expecially if we just recently started dating. they can take that mess else where because thats nobodys concern what people have in the bank, so what if you guys dont workout guess what? that person is going to know everything about ur money...Now its a diffrent story when you guys are already serious and plan on getting married then yes thats when its best to start talking about finacial situations, thats more reasonable.
That's why its best if you're financially stable, so you don't put the burden on your so.. especially if its a significant amount of money.
Not when you're dating, but like you, I agree when they are engaged and ready to get married.
When you're about to get married is when you should start talking about that. You shouldn't talk about it when you're just dating, of course.
First of all, I'd just like to say that I'm celibate and I plan on NEVER getting married.
I once mentioned that if I did, however, (totally a hypothetical theory, as I WON'T) I would want a prenuptial agreement. My dad says that that's ok as long as I'm not marrying someone wealthy -- if my future husband has money, than I should not sign one, because I would want to be able to take something away if it ever came to divorce.
See, the problem is, even though I'm middle class, if I were to get divorced, I wouldn't want anyone to take MY stuff. "My stuff" consists of a portable TV from the 1980s, a Hello Kitty trash can, and some beads that you hang in your doorway, but still, I would want a pre-nup because I wouldn't want them to be able to get their hands on what's MINE.
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In my opinion, it's all about what you value. Some people value very much financial stability, and are only looking for a serious (read: permanent) relationship. They might not have time to date/dick around casually. Likely, they both think that somebody with a similarly great financial situation shares the same values they do.