Wednesday, 23 December 2009
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Question of the Day
Imagine this scenario. You are in a loving relationship with someone. Now, what would you do if, out of the blue, an ex/lover contacted you after a number of years and asked you to be 'friends?' Do you think that trying to befriend an ex is asking for trouble?
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- From: hundredsongsinhundreddays@xanga
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Comments (28)
It could work for some people, but it didn't work for me. The old feelings came back, and I started to wonder if I would be happier with him, instead of my husband.
I wouldn't do it. There's a lot of destruction in this. You don't know the motives of your ex (they're not going to actually tell you if they want to be more than friends), and you don't want the potential friction with your SO.
nah. it won't work for me.
Well, I can say without a doubt that the guys I dated before my husband are men I would never in a million years consider dating again. In both cases, the romantic affection I felt for them was well and truly killed. But one does still talk to me occasionally. The other got married and I don't think his wife lets him even think of contacting me. Ironically, he's the one that I'd actually want to be friends with if I had to choose. He was the nicer of the two, even if he was...odd.
Still, before agreeing, I'd ask my husband how he felt about it. If he was okay with it, I wouldn't have a problem, but he's my one-and-only, and I'd never do anything to make him feel uncomfortable.
-Katie
I dont even think i would stick around long enough to figure out why this person all of a sudden contacted me, but what i would like to figure out is how did that person get my number and leave it at that. other then that i love my husband who is now my future, the man imma grow old with, and there is a reason that ex is my passed thats why he is an ex and so there is no reason to even try and figure out why he contacted me who cares as long as im happy =)
This is kinda funny, as I'll be seeing an ex soon that I haven't seen since April.
I don't know if it'd be inappropriate. I don't want to sleep with him or anything, and I wouldn't mind being acquaintances with him. I'd never date him again, so to me, it wouldn't be a threat to a relationship.
(It might be different, though, if I wasn't single right now.)
Eh...it really all depends. Like what their true intentions are. Don't get too close with your ex, but still keep in contact. But yeah.. staying away from exes is probably the best idea.
noway. as much as i say i won't care, i'll get jealous. for sure
Depends on the ex. I've stayed in contact/friends with my ex-girlfriend for years. I don't think there would be a problem there, even if we still lived in the same state and could hang out. I wouldn't, however, want to be friends with my ex-fiance again. He's good at intentionally throwing wrenches into everything.
I've stayed positive acquaintances at least with most of my exes, so it wouldn't really be unusual for me to be friends with most of them after the initial break-up is well over and done with.
However I'd get suspicious if a certain few were to suddenly pop up and decide we can even speak to one another again.. they'd probably just be plotting to sabotage my car or something and need to find out where I live these days lolwhy would my ex, out of the blue after a number of years, ask to be friends? that's suspicious.
brads beard is horrible - what the hell?
i wouldn't automatically think it's trouble. but i would be curious...
Depends entirely on the Ex. I'm friends with quite a few of mine, but i don't think the relationship ever turns back to just 'friends'.
I'm in the middle of doing that right now. It really depends on the person. Mine, in this case, has really changed, since we dated and broke up when we were both really immature juniors, and he was my first boyfriend. Now that we're both more experienced and more considerate, things are showing improvement.
Depends on how you feel about that ex. It can work for some and it won't work for others. You can try to accept them back into your life, but if things don't go as you would want it to, maybe it wasn't meant to be (to be friends).
It depends...I think if it's been long enough (I'm talking years) and you have both completely moved on, it should be okay. If you see each other and start to have old feelings coming back, you either never got over that person completely or it's not a good idea to see them at all.
Yup, I think so. I mean, I wouldn't want my bf being friends with his ex, and since I've only had one other bf - in my experience, I ran as far away from him as I could, even when I wasn't with my 2nd bf.
Hm.
It depends. Some can be friends. Some can't.
Personally, I don't think I want to reunite with any exes, anyways, even if they are just asking for friendship.
No. You have to know what it is you want. If you do not think you can handle being their friend, do not accept the invitation. I speak when I see my ex, and keep on going.
It would depend on the person. I'm good friends with one ex, but not the other. If I were in a good relationship, I'd be wary if the "other" ex tried to come back in my life.
would not work for me
I don't think being friends with an ex is trouble for everyone as long as they know their limits and can handle themselves.
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is this his first attempt at contact? is he or was he at the time a completely sincere person?