Wednesday, 23 December 2009
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Let's Stop Calling it Love
It seems there's more to the phrase "I love you" than I thought. I know the phrase should be carefully used or else it will result in pretty dire consequences. I understand this pretty well since I've misused it quite a bit (accidentally) and have dealt with the consequence.
However, there are instances when I don't know how to respond when someone says it to me. I know a lot of people (okay, mostly mainly girls) where the phrase simply rolls of their tongue. Do something nice for them and "THANK YOU, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH" or something like that. I know they all don't mean what they say but I can't help but feel a sense of... irritation for a lack of better terms.
There is though, times when certain people have said it to me and probably meant it. Those are the times when I feel the most uncomfortable; not because I'm afraid they meant it, but rather, how do I respond to this when I don't exactly feel the same way but at the same time not crush them emotionally.I guess what I'm trying to find out is: what do you think of this phrase? What are some ways you have responded when someone said "I love you" to you when you know you don't feel the same way back?
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About the Author
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- From: diCHETdimay@xanga
- Name: Khoi
- About Me: Just a 17 year old trying to live life to the fullest.
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Comments (52)
Well, for me, I've only said it when I meant it. As for those who said it to me, it's after I said it. So, I never encountered that particular situation. I guess it's a matter of how long and how involved you were in that particular time period. Each person is different, so it's really a matter of how you feel towards that person.
The only time those three letters were said to me I replied with the same thing. Because I meant it with my heart. I only believe it should be said when it's truly meant. I don't like when people say it for the hell of it..
Say it.. When you mean it.
I've come to accept that it's a flexible word. I'd rather say it than not.
I really don't want a situation to come up where I'm not for sure, so I don't say it, then something tragic happens.
Yea, I don't just throw it around. When someone says it to me casually, through some sort of typed words I put a heart instead lol. But if said in person, I just ignore that I hear it and focus on other things they said haha
My best friend and my boyfriend are probably the only two people I not only say I love you to and mean it, but the only two people I believe when they respond in like to me. I'll occasionally respond in kind if my roommate, other friends, or parents say it to me.
In any other situation, I'll ignore it. Even if you feel that way, I don't, so why give someone false hope, regardless if it's "friend-love" or "love-love."
Lets see, this one is a difficult one to talk on, but easy all at the same time. Many guys have told me they loved me in my high school days. I was with that at the time but I just wasn't feeling the same towards them. They always chose to say it in the moments where everything was going good and I always just smiled and sometimes blushed, of course being flattered, and said awh, thank you. Now this hurts them a little since you don't say it back but I always reassure them that I like them a lot and happy with them just not ready to say it back because I want to truly mean it and be so sure. :] it always seems to lift their spirits and everything is great again. :]
Latoshia love your way.
@lewk@xanga - I agree.
its obvious when someone says it in a joking manner, its not them its u who needs to learn how to not take shit to the head cuz all u doing is getting ur hopes high and u going to get ur feelings hurt. relaxe and enjoy the fun. that person could also really love u as a friend so say it bac and if that person takes it to the head dont feel bad when explaining it and tell that person to stop taken shit to the head before they get hurt. UGH lol
I've had two people say it to me, relationship-wise. The first one was easy because I was sure I loved him back, so I of course said it back without any hesitation. The second was a bit more delicate. I knew in my heart that I didn't love him, but I also knew I still wanted to be with him. So I let him know that and he was fine with it and we kissed and held hands and walked off into the sunset like a scene from a movie.
Hahaha no I'm totally kidding about that last part.
But yeah. I don't say those three words in relationships unless I truly mean them. But as for friends, well I tell just about all of them I love them even though I only mean it to a few. But if you think about it, when a friend says "I love you!" in the typical way girls say it to each other, it would be silly to respond with "well I really like you and we're friends, but I don't love you", ya know? So I just figure no big deal, whatever. It doesn't bother me. What really matters to me and fits my morals is just not saying it romantically until I mean it.
I say it a lot in reverse, not really meaning it. Right after I irritate one of my female friends due to an obnoxious moment: "Well that's why you love me!" They always smile. :P
Of course, in a relationship, I'm usually so slow to say "I love you" because I MUST be sure.
Platonic love is easier to give than romantic love.
I'm not a romantic to any degree.
What the eff... if I say I love you, it's probably only because you said it to me first, like a knee jerk reaction.
I consider it as a polite nothing phrase.
Like "How are you doing?" "Fine, how are you?" even when you don't care how the person is doing, and you're not doing fine.
They say, I love you, I reply I love you too.
Chyah~
It's no big deal to me. 8)
it means so much less to me now.
What's so hard about responding to the phrase "I love you"?
If you love them back, say it back.
It you don't, don't.
Anything else is unnecessary. Or lying.
casually once i said to a girl 'you know i love you' -- she freaked out and was like 'you barely know me', blah blah blah... yeah, we didn't really talk after that. lol.
I just yawn.
I dont say it unless I mean it..but when someone confesses to me romanticly and mean it..I only tell them Thank you but I'm sorry..dont feel the same way.
when someone tells me that they love me and I don't feel the same way or if they throw it around a lot I tend to smile slightly awkwardly to be perfectly honest. Something about those three words that should be said between those you truly care for. In my eyes, those three words are up there with trust
Just say thanks...Period. No need to be mean or whatever...
@lewk@xanga - Very beautiful comment. :)
I've only said it romantically to my ex, and I made him wait a few months to hear it after he said it first. It's a serious thing, and even though I throw it around a lot with my friends, I do so in the confidence that they know the context. I would never say it seriously without meaning it with all of me.
In the past I came across a couple of situations when people would say it to me and I knew I would never feel the same way. All I could do was say, "You're sweet," and then some variation of "but I don't feel that romantically about you." It's awkward, but it's the best way to keep anyone's feelings from getting hurt later down the line.
I've once realized that when a friend of mine told me that the "I love you" phrase is sacred. Whenever someone tells me that s/he loves me, of course I respond back with "Hey, you know what? I love you too." And it is even in a very dry and untruthful almost joking manner. You see, whenever I respond like that to someone, the essence of the phrase lessens (for my part that is) and I end up being undecided on what to say to people who tells me they love me and freaking mean it. I end up joking though. Oh well.
@wiredXecstacy@xanga - Absolutely true . :)
the word love has been over-used so much that everyone from this generation has lost the meaning of it. fuck love.
I use it when I mean it - but I mean it a lot haha.
I use it when I'm talking to my best friends, my family members and my fiancé.