As I was lying in the bathtub reading a book, I began thinking.
I've always believed that there is a reason for everything. I'm the person I am for a reason. I attend this college for a reason. I was born into this family for a reason. Sure, there are simple answers to these questions, but I believe that sometimes things fit into a bigger picture that we, as humans, almost never see.
My focus is about relationships. As I began to become sad about my previous relationship, I pondered: If I had changed anything about myself, any action, would the result still have been the same? It was said that I seem like the right person, but it didn't seem like the right time. Unfortunately, that doesn't guarantee that there ever will be a right time, but let me stay on topic.
I believe that God knows his own desire for my life, and He is constantly putting me through experiences to help me get there. This applies to my future spouse. Maybe my previous relationship didn't work out because it was meant to direct me on a truer path to the person I'm meant to be with. In one line of thinking, maybe it was to direct me to the person I met at the party of my ex, who I wouldn't have talked to if my ex and I had never dated and broken up. Or, maybe it happened so that I'll have a better view of the type of person I want to be with.
Or, maybe it was the right thought that it was all just bad timing, and it happened so the same mistakes won't occur if we try again. Who knows, but God?
The thing is, almost everybody wants to end up with someone, and we are all placed on different paths to get there. Some of us have been in plenty of relationships and just can't seem to find the right one. Some of us have never been in a relationship. Some of us have been in relationships that seemed perfect, but ended unexpectedly. And there are infinite different reasons for each situation for each individual person.
People say, "when one door closes, another opens".
But my questions are, should we spend time examining why the first one closed and try to see the big picture? Or should we stop questioning why things didn't work out and just try a different door?
Or is there even a correct answer?
True
Comments (12)
I'm one of those who believes everything happens for a reason as well. Mostly when it comes to relationships. When my previous relationship ended, I started looking for reasons why it did, whether it was something about me or what I did or even what she did or thought. I also look for clues and direction in events that happen, just to see if there was some sort of connection. One event that I didn't take advantage, I'm still kicking myself about it. It was a Sunday and I was suppose to drive to the city for a staff meeting at work. It turned out that it was raining and flooding that day and they cancelled the meeting. My grandma was in the hospice that time as well, but I never thought twice to take that time to go pay her another visit. Later that night, she passed. And now, I still blame myself for not thinking of the flood and rain as a sign for me to go visit her that one last time.
But, in life, we learn from these connections and realize later that if something doesn't work out, there's a reason why and we must look at the bigger picture (as you said).
pretty sure it was helen keller who said that quote.
I'm a "find a different door" type of person.
You absolutely, for no reason, change the past. You can't do anything over or fix things. So why look back and question it? Why regret it? There's no purpose in that - it'll only make you miserable.
So let it close. Choose a new door.
@llunachick2319@xanga - Agreed
Things happened the way they did because there was no other way for them to happen. I don't like lingering on "what ifs" or regrets; there's no point. Simply be aware of your options and your surroundings in the moment, and don't let opportunities pass you by. If you're active and alert in your own life, you'll do fine.
I'm happy I made the decision to visit the mall arcade to play some ITG in May 12, 2006. If I hadn't gone to the mall arcade, I would never have met my now-boyfriend. I also would probably be in the nastiest emotional black hole, ever. Things do happen for a reason! =)
I don't believe you can see the big picture. Or put it another way, the big picture never turns out to be the one you thought it was. So I say go for a different door, and see what's on the other side.
I'm a stupid follower in; fate, everything happens for a reason etc.
You can't regret things in the past, or wonder what would have happened if you did this or that. It happened that way for a reason.
I'm sure the way I see things will kill me one day. Haha.
i ask these questions a lot.
I think it's both. Examine why the first door closed, and learn lessons from it, but also look forward to the new door with optimism and hope things will get better. And they usually do.
yeah, this describes my view of things perfectly, too! i used to try really hard to see the big picture; i thought i had found "the One", and the chain of events that led us to one another seemed like fate. but that fell through, and i realized that i can't see the big picture except in retrospect. now, rather than analyzing, i just trust that i'm on the right path and will do and think what i need to do and think to wind up in the right place at the right time. and that's all we can do, isn't it?
I'm a firm believer that regrets are mistakes you don't learn from.
But I also think "fate" is also just a way to take responsibility off yourself. Even though it kinda felt like...fated (just because it seemed so perfect) when my boyfriend and I got together...It wasn't. We were just THAT AWESOME. haha.