Monday, 21 December 2009
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WYD Someone Who Lied About Being Poor?
A little about me: I'm a finance graduate and I'm still going to school. I worked for one year after my graduation and I inherited some money from my parents. With that money, I've invested in the stock market. A few years later, I've have more than quadruple my net worth.
Everyone who's met me, except for people who work at the bank, thinks I'm poor. They know that I'm unemployed, I live with my parents, and I use the public transit (yes I don't have a car). But the truth is: I'm not poor. I could upgrade my wardrobe if I wanted to, I could afford a car if I wanted to, I could buy a home if I wanted to. I just choose not to. The reason is: I don't want a girl to love me for my money. I meet girls and I tell them I'm just a student, but I never say anything about my impressive stock portfolio. In addition, I have never gone far enough into a relationship to ever tell the truth.
Which brings me to this question. How would you feel if your significant other suddenly tells you he's not poor after two/three years? Would you feel that he doesn't trust you? Would you feel that he might lie about other things too?
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- From: anonymish
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Comments (89)
Honestly, that would make every girls heart melt if they were with you while you were poor, and then you just dropped a bombshell of "oh by the way I'm almost a millionare"
that's some cinderella shit right there
PS First
Yes, I would.
I would be suspicious and wonder if he's been spending the money on something shady all this time.
2-3 years!?
grow up. if you're as successful as you say and insightful enough to multiple your money by 4, you should be smart enough to know if a woman is with you for your money.
I hope you fall for someone with a good heart, only to find out 2-3 years later, that she was born a dude.
dude thats bad ass. i'd totally do it if i didn't have a thing for tube amps, gutiars, bose, and macbooks.
I'd actually feel better if my partner didn't mention being rich. I like the thrill of working for my own money, and he gets to maintain his own share. It's not like if they mentioned being rich, that I would run through their account.
I don't really think it's necessary to tell someone how well off you are to start a relationship. Personally, I wouldn't be suspicious of you if I was the one assuming you are poor. Basically, don't lie. Don't lead her on by enforcing that you're poor when you're not, but you don't feel you have to tell her all the details. Leave that for girls you're in a long, committed relationship with. You want the girl to respect that you're responsible with money, not that you have a lot of it.
But@MaximMan@xanga is right, if you're smart enough to work the stocks the way you apparently have, you should be able to tell if a woman is using you for your money.
yeah i'd feel lied to. it's not even about the money, but the fact that you lied for all those times. i mean since i personally, don't look for guys with money, i'd feel offended about it. WHat you can do is feel the girl out for the first few weeks. then after you tell her, see if she changed at all or not. then you can figure it out from there.
Telling her after 2 or 3 years is too long. You can tell her after a month, or when you see that her feeling for you is sincere, not for your money. I mean, of course you can tell a materialistic girl from the first time you meet her, high maintenanced ones. Usually, the simple modest girl won't hook up with you to 'rob' you :) :)
I'd be a little suspicious and probably ask for an explanation, but as long as it was for legit reasons or out of humility, I don't see why not.
Honestly it would kind of bother me. It's misleading and I would feel like I don't even know who you are. I understand that your money isn't who you are but you're basically saying that once you have a woman who loves you you'll "upgrade" everything about yourself which is weird if someone has fallen in love with the seemingly poor student. I wouldn't be happy.
you obviously don't date, because if you did, you wouldn't have to pretend to be poor. you would just be poor. magic 8 ball says to ask again when you are in a relationship for 2-3 years. cheers!
@MaximMan@xanga - you took the words right out of my mouth.
Well, I guess it depends on how you go about hiding your wealth. If you actually lie about it, then that's wrong, but if you don't just don't bring it up...that's fine. A little mystery might be fun lol.
atleast get a car haha. Get a beat up one... but I'm not as rich as you, but I too have quite a bit of money and I also like to pretend to be poor. Love shouldn't be about money, but about the individual...
its personal preference. my dad drove a mercedes to pick up my mom on day one, and the next day he drove his own car, a pick-up truck. my mom stayed with him and realized he wasn't poor. i think that's more of a blessing in disguise - for you to find out that your woman loves you for you, and not for the money - and the extra cash...well, at least you're not poor.
2-3 years??? Yes, that would piss me off. But waiting until things get serious/until you find out if she's a gold-digger, that's totally acceptable. Money doesn't matter to me, my husband and I have both been dirt poor since we first started dating - if he'd revealed a few months in that he had a lot of money, it wouldn't affect how I felt about him, but it's always nice to know someone has financial security, and the fact that you did it on your own in the stock market is impressive and shows that you're intelligent. So sure, don't mention it right off the bat (it would probably sound boastful, to be honest) but definitely don't keep it secret for years. That feels shady to me.
i dont understand why you need to hide it. and what is your standard of being poor? do you wear shabby clothes, or do you just not shop. the latter isn't so bad, and not disclosing your stock profolio isn't that bad of a thing, but make sure you aren't intentionally hiding EVERYTHING. the girl may feel guilty and want to pay for things, so make sure you still eventually split things.
i'm sure you're smart enough to figureout if a girl likes you or not
If you told them you were poor then that is cruel...
Yeah- I would feel that he would like about more than money. I understand where you're at though. There are a lot of moochers in the world- not just girl friend type people, but FRIENDS. Money is a touchy subject with people- whether you have it or you don't.
I wouldn't make a comment about my financial situation, unless they ask about it.
@MaximMan@xanga - Lol, I love this completely.
idk about three years... but really if someone was rich and didn't tell me till we were serious and they trusted me. i would assume they wanted to make sure i wasn't after their money. No big thing. Money isn't something people in non serious relationships ever talk about in my experience anyways.
2-3 years..?!
That's a bit much, don't you think?
@MaximMan@xanga - Lmaooo. That was hilarious.