I understand brand new relationships where you want to see each other 24/7. Honestly, I really do. What I don't get is why you insist on bringing out your SO and then dumping them onto your friends while you go mingle.
This is what happened. My friend "Z" started a new relationship and she really likes the guy. She's been M.I.A. for the last 3 months and we know she's holed up with her new boyfriend. So like a bear coming out of hibernation, her first task was to track us down and see what we've been up to. We gladly invited her out to group gatherings and also to our own girls night out. Problem was, she would bring her man wherever she went. At group gatherings, it's okay because we're not all single, some of us are married and others are coupled up. But when it's girls night out, he's the only guy there and when we asked her why she brings him out, she said it's because he wants to be near her. Yes, it's sweet but oh so clingy? Come on, it's one night. We're not taking a 2 week trip across Europe.
Anyway, that's not the worst part. My girl friend has the tendency to leave him with us while she goes off to mingle with other people she hasn't seen in a while. Now, I won't question why "Z" is with this guy but he just doesn't click with us. We try to make conversation with him but he's so dull I wanted to just spill my drink on myself so I can make an excuse to leave.
We don't want to hurt her feelings by complaining about her man or not inviting her out and we know she doesn't want to hurt his feelings by telling him that she wants to go out alone. So how are you suppose to deal with a stage 5 clinger?
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ummm I'm confused. What are the other 4 stages?
if they've been dating for that long she really shouldn't have to worry about "hurting his feelings". he's a big boy and i'm sure he could survive one night without her. just tell her that it makes you uncomfortable when she brings him to girls nights because thats when you get to talk about girl stuff and its just weird with a guy there.
it sounds like he is insecure and is there to watch his gf to see if she is flirting, not to befriend her friends or he seems dull at first because he is socially awkward until he feels comfortable. she should directly let him know she needs some space to be with just her friends. if he insists on accompanying her despite that, then maybe it isn't insecurity due to jealousy of other guys around his girlfriend but maybe he has lost most of his friends when he was revolving his life around his girlfriend, so that is understandable why he would feel lonely and clingy because she is all he has.
Mmm. Yeah. That really is clingy. I don't know if you should worry so much about hurting her feelings, or that she should worry about hurting her boyfriend's feelings. Something should be said. o__o Not being able to leave one another alone is clearly a problem.
@chicken1672 - Stage 5 Clinger is what Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn Said in wedding crashers
sounds like they are still in that "isnt he just the greatest?" phase, wants to show him off, see if her friends will adore him as much as she does. It also sounds like one or both of them are very young, like a few years out of high school. Give her time.
Firmly state "GIRL'S night out". And then, if he still shows up, ask him if he has dingleberries.
If the answer is no, he would be stating the obvious.
If the answer is yes, well...what kind of a man is he that he answers "yes" to the question "do you have dingleberries?"
I hate people like that. My solution... is to not hang out with them until they dump the boyfriend.
@hyunj09@xanga - WTF definition of dingleberries are you using??!
Get him drunk and see if he's any less dull =P.
From the description you're giving, he doesn't even sound clingy, Z just sounds like a moron.
She should be able to talk to him, but she's way too scared of hurting his feeling or something. Is he even having fun?
@LoveYouToDeath16@xanga - hahaha it's from a movie called "she's the man" with amanda bynes. such a cute movie. and so unrealistic. but very cute.
Maybe suggest some things for him to do while she's out with you guys. It's just for one night and bringing a man violates the "girls night out" thing, doesn't it?
I would suggest that perhaps you guys just don't know him. I know that I must be SO boring when I go out, but it's just because I'm uncomfortable. It takes about five outings with the same people for me to start talking. And usually I don't disappoint. But, then again, neither my fiance or I indulge in "guys/girls nights out", (I never got that concept).
Hm, wow. That's pretty rude to bring your significant other and dump him upon your friends. If she wants a "girls night out," she needs to stand her ground and tell him so. But all in all, maybe she did want him to tag along as well.
lol. what the hell. if i was the guy i'd refuse to go out with her.
Tell your friend that it's a GIRL's night out, and if she brings her bf, don't bother coming, simple as that.
I'd say it's Z's fault. If she'd just tell him that it's a girl's night then he'd probably understand.
dude! no dicks on girls' night. period!
all the rest of the time, though, i think it's kind of cute
yeah, he needs his own friends.
Wow I'm so sorry
It's interesting how you jumped to conclude that it's him that's the clinger. Your friend Z might have implied that it's HIM that wants to be near her 24/7, but have you ever wondered if she brings him out voluntarily too? I'm not saying your friend is a moocher, but I've seen girls who bring their s/o out so they can get their bill. It's horrible, I know, but I've seen it happen with guys bringing their "financially stable" gfs to foot the bill on the night and etc. Perhaps, it's not HIM that's the clinger. Perhaps, she bugs HIM to come out with her so she can have two birds with one stone?
If you are really concerned, you should sit her down and explain to her how her bringing her guy out ALL THE TIME look and effects you and your friends. Does she not have an individual will to entertain herself with her friends without a male escort? Does he not have any friends, if so, maybe hanging out with her all the time made it happen? Does she appreciate the opportunities you guys have made to see her and realize how difficult it is to "click" with someone (her bf) that's not interested to make friends? Etc...TALK TO HER. Friends do that.
@P0RCELA1N_D0LL@xanga - To me it sounds like the girl here is clingy, if the guy was clingy.. Why the hell would he stay with her friends while she goes out and about mingling at gatherings. A clingy person would just follow around. :/
To be honest, just tell her not to take the guy with her to girl's nights out.