I dont think that was rough at all but everyone has a different definition for everything.  Plus, we dont know this emily very well-was she abused when she was younger? Or was in a horrible relationship before patrick where the guy did the same thing?  Either one of those could elicit a response such as the one she gave.

yeah i think it's all in regards to one's personal preferences. to her, that may have been way more rough than she would have liked. while we see it as not rough at all.

I think when a couple is comfortable in being with each other, the Q&A of what is allowed in the sex department generally happens naturally. The more you think it's a difficult topic to bring up, you just assume what's okay for YOU is okay for your partner, and that's how you end up with a case like Patrick and Emily. I don't know how often they've been "doing it" or if they've been dating for long, but clearly she's not in a comfortable place in their "relationship" to have discussed how far she's willing to act out a fantasy. 

You NEVER strike someone (or pull on them) in ANY way without their consent. Bottom line. NO.

Patrick should have asked, preferably before anything started happening, but you can make the question sexy (i.e., what do you think talking dirty is about? "You want me to spank you, baby?" or something...don't want to get too NSFW...).

Emily WAS disrespected because Patrick didn't consider her feelings on the subject worth exploring before he acted. Emily could have been abused or raped in the past - or she could just really, really not like being touched that way. Her reasons don't matter: her consent does. She did not consent, and thus what he did was unacceptable.

No, he's not sexually deviant - but he is immature and insensitive. An apology is in order, and respect for Emily's (or any future partners') boundaries. Hopefully he'll learn his lesson.

Maybe she brought it up that she wouldnt like that once before, but your friend wasn't paying attention, in that case obviously she's not overreacting or anything. I'd be pissed to.
But if it was never brought up he'd never know. In that case, she should calm down and sit and talk to him about it.

Your friend is a prude or embarrassed to admit she would like to try that. If he doesn't beat her, then why not? Maybe she's a begginner terrified of what she's not familiar with.

What a weakling. Rough sex isn't rough sex unless someone  is bashing the piss out of you. End of story. 

wowwww. that was SO NOT rough sex. but I guess if that's how she feels he should just respect her wishes. although honestly I don't ever expect a guy to ask before he spanks or hair pulls. I would assume he would do it and then see what my reaction is.

@envisionedlight@aol.com - I agree!!!

While I personally don't think it's rough (but that's just me), I agree that he should've talked to her about it. If they're having sex - and obviously, they have been for several months - it shouldn't be something they should be afraid to talk about. A simple, "hey, what do you think if I tried ____?" BEFORE he tries it would clear it up. Obviously, he was an idiot for his comment with other girls, but still. A good time to broach the subject would be during post-sex cuddling, I think (at least, it has been for me)... "mid-plow", as the OP put it, would be awkward haha.

personally, it sounds to me that she reacted more strongly to the fact that he seemed to dismiss her feelings, rather than his actions. I mean, if I were saying to someone, "I don't feel comfortable with that," the last thing I'd want to hear is, "Oh, it's not THAT rough," or "it wasn't anything I haven't done before with other girls." Had he just said, "Sorry, I should've asked, next time I'll see how you feel about it," I don't think she would've been so angry.

Sounds like he and Emily didn't lay the ground rules before doing the nasty. Common mistake, but he should call and apologize. They should also have a good talk about what each considers acceptable (and not acceptable) in the bedroom. Or wherever else he (or she) may think about doing the deed. ;)

"Rough sex" is very subjective. But in this case, I think the girl just make a big deal over nothing. But, yeah, we need to particularly make it clear what Patrick means by 'a little spanking'.

I'm married and my husband and I still make sure to talk about trying new things in the bedroom before we just go for it. And if he wanted to keep seeing Emily's boobies and to continue getting tasty treats from her, he certainly should have talked about it before giving himself a lifetime ban on boobtown.