Monday, 14 December 2009
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Meeting His Ex and Kids
I am together with a guy who is at the moment getting a divorce. We have been together for a year now, but he had been deployed for the better part of our relationship. When he came back, we moved in together and things are really going great, but then he came home from a visit to his kids and announced, that the next time he would like me to come along, to meet them. Well, meeting them also means, meeting the ex and I know from him, that she tried recently to get him back...
So this meeting will be awkward enough, but that is not my main concern. What I am really worried about is, meeting his kids for the first time. They are 7 and 9 year old girls and since my man had been on deployment quite often and for long periods of time and he missed a lot of time with his girls and of course he wants to make up to them and catch up.... So they will come over every other weekend and I don't have anything against that at all, I support it.
The only thing is, that I am terribly nervous about that first meeting with them.Will they like me?What if they don't...?Will they accept me as the new woman on their daddy's side?All that kind of stuff is running through my mind at the moment...Anybody who has been through the same experience, any tips or advise...? I would be really thankful.
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- From: delishis1@xanga
- Name: dying2Be
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Comments (8)
Well I don't know about anyone else, but when my dad was dating another girl other than my mom, I was okay with it. Just don't try to be best friends with them. That gets extremely annoying. Every single one of my dad's girlfriends has tried it to get closer to my dad so they have more leverage. Just be nice, but not "oh! let's be best friends!" nice.
when my dad began dating i did not like seeing them kiss in front of me, but i did like seeing them show unsexual signs of affecting, like hugging. I always felt like my dad was sad and alone so seeing him be happy made me happy. But i hated that he acted differently to me when he was around her. make sure everyone acts normal, and just be nice. my dads gf never made any effort to get to know me and i felt really unwanted
Be thankful that his ex isn't a spiteful bitch that won't allow him to have his kids every other weekend. I'm going through that right now with my fiance. His ex has had him in court for everything under the sun just because I'm the "new" woman in his life. Kids adjust wonderfully. As long as you're a good person they will see that. As long as his kids are disciplined and not hellions, there should be no problem! lol
@LetterstoChes@xanga - wow, i'm sort of in the same situation...although, i haven't met the kids yet, but the ex wife is a complete bitch.
i wish i had advice for you, but i'm sort of in the same situation. i'm 23 years old and his kids are in that pre-teen age...i'm scared to death how to act around them when or if that time comes...actually, i'm really good with kids around that age, but i don't want to come off in a bad way.
just relax. best to assume only good things will happen. can't be controlled anyway. good luck!
I was nine when I met my Dad's girlfriend. I accepted her, she was very nice and easy to talk to. Just be nice, and yourself, and the kids will respect you. I mean do thye know that he's in a relationship? I guess it was easier to deal with because my Mom was remarried.,...good luck though! You can do it! Even if they don't like you at first, they'll warm up to the idea of dad getting remarried. it's inevitable.
They are 7 and 9... Chill out. You should be more nervous if anything, that they're mom has told them something horrible about you which would make it even more awkward. Just relax and be awesome, it's SO easy to impress kids haha. BUT don't retaliate or do anything disrespectful in her home. In truth, you shouldn't have to meet them all in strictly her territory, shouldn't you meet at some neutral, public zone... With witnesses?
Just be yourself.
That's about all you can do. Be nice, and be yourself. I was nervous to meet my ex's kids, but it went OK. She hated me at first, but she learned to accept it, and like me. We eventually got to the point where she'd go to the mall with me.
It just takes time. You can expect them to like you right away. If they do, great. If they don't- don't feel like it's your fault. It's not. It's just how things work.