Monday, 14 December 2009
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To"Pedestalize" Someone
What does it mean to "pedestalize" someone?
Depending on the relationship it can have a variety of meanings.
I challenge every reader to come up with there own definition in regards to there own situation and relationships.
Would you like to be the one who is put on the pedestal or the one who is putting someone else on the pedestal?
Now I am going to give my reason and motive behind this topic...
If you have read any of my posts you would know that I am in relationship with the mother of my 8 yr old son and we have been in this relationship for about 13 yrs except for a few yrs when I started screwing up my like by using and selling drugs which caused me to lose her for a few yrs and I lost my freedom for a couple of years. But anyway, now we are back together and I am happier now than I have ever been. Life is going good for us and bend over backwards to please her. I bring her food to her in bed, cook for her, when she comes home from work I rub her feet, back, neck, ass, whatever she needs to make life easier at the time, I do!
If I could do more I would. I tell her how much I love her many times a day. I tell how beautiful she is constantly. I give her everything I can within my means. She is my Queen. Therefore I put her on the pedestal that I think she needs to be on.
My other way of "Pedestalizing" her is to uplift her with words of encouragement. When she is down, I try to cheer her up. When she feels like she can't go on, I give her drive.
I think the world would be a better place if we all would put each other on a pedestal. I call it "Pedestalizing!"
So what is your definition?
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About the Author
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- From: mikepaperchaserb@xanga
- Name: mikepaperchaserb
- About Me: My passion is to help others not go down the same road I traveled. Stop recidivism or try to keep someone from going to prison in the 1st place. A couple more years of college. Psychology/Sociology.. And LOVE like I have never Loved before!!!! "And YOU???"
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Comments (27)
Putting someone on a pedestal is a dangerous and unrealistic thing to do.
@haloed@xanga -
this is very true, i have been destroyed because of this.
@haloed@xanga - I agree. I hate being put on a pedestal--I will eventually fall off and hurt the other person.
Putting someone on a pedstal generally an unhealthy thing to do. It is looking through someone's faults that are hurting you and making up excuses for them.
I've never been in a relationship, but if I were in one, I don't think I'd like being put on a pedestal.I can see myself giving encouragement, cooking up a good meal and everything EXCEPT rubbing his ass or his feet. Doing these things once in a while is sweet, and can make the relationship more interesting, but 24/7 would suffocate me. I'm a very independent person, so I like to do things on my own and happen to like my space. I can see why you put her on a pedestal, it's probably because you two have been together for so long.
For my definition, I refer to pedestalizing as the act of placing someone above everything else and admiring it. In other words, one of my friends used to always "chase" girls, meaning he would place them on pedestals, but never really engage to go after them. That's my definition: where you only admire but never go after.
Pedestals are for worshiping. If you're in a healthy, equal relationship, you'll both be on the same level.
I think you treat her more with respect, love, and encouragement than putting her on a pedestal b/c that in my opinion means to look at someone unrealistically which eventually can lead to heartbreak as a person fails to see the person for who they really are sometimes and sees the person as infallible.
I tended to put one of my good friends on a pedestal alot, and was not good. It really tends to piss his girlfriend off. Its not only me, but alot of his friends do also because hes a great person. I've learned to see the boys faults and realize hes not perfect, but talking to him every once in awhile still makes me happy because I hardly ever get to.
Yeah I wouldn't want to be put on a pedestal. One wrong move/mistake and everything comes crashing down. I want someone to accept my flaws and everything and still love ME.
This is bad. He's out of my league, and I placed him high on a pedestal.
@haloed@xanga - i dis agree because i love my girl so much
@makerm7@xanga - if the person who puts you on a pedestal truly loves you they will accept yr flaws and still keep you on that pedestal
i respect all of you guys opinion and some of you may be right but i will take my chances and continue to wait on my girl hand and foot. she loves it and says it makes her feel loved by me and as long as she is happy i am happy and that is the ultimate goal
I get placed on pedestals too often.
I think it means placing someone in high regard despite reality and their apparent flaws
What you're doing for her- taking good care of her, loving her, pleasing her, romancing her, is sweet, a very good thing. I think a lot of the commenters saw the word "pedestal" and immediately thought of the negative connotation and didn't really read anything else about what you were actually doing for her. Most people understand the word to mean that you idealize someone inordinately and basically see them as infallible, while not even necessarily doing any such lovely, nice things for them. But what you're doing is not that. You're not expecting perfection. I mean, goodness, you've been with her for so many years...!
It really seems like what you're talking about is healthy and supportive mate behavior. My husband and I do thoughtful stuff like that for each other every day and it makes us both very happy. I think you're making a smart investment and keep "pedestalizing" if that's what you want to call it! Do whatever works! It seems like your marvelous treatment of her is really good for her and the relationship.
@sarahflorida1085@xanga - i like that you made a distinction between the two.
i think the big thing here is semantics- i think it's great that you treat your girl so well!!! i know, however, that i have been on a pedestal, and it's a very scary thing! i would be fine with being treated well and waited on hand and foot, even, but that's different than the feeling of being high up on a pedestal, because it's a loooooong way down. you feel like you can't possibly stay up there; it feels like the other person's feelings aren't really real and will eventually go away, and that one false move will cause their bubble to burst and they'll see you for who you really are and you will be alone.
on the other side of the coin, i have seen guys as perfect, and that is a GREAT feeling, to feel like you've found someone so wonderful and "pedestalize" them. so i'd say it's a much better feeling to PUT someone on a pedestal, but a very disconcerting feeling to BE on that pedestal yourself.
The sentiment behind this is nice, but in practice, it will often result in heartache. Either the pedestalized person will come to take the other for granted, or the pedestaler will resent its royalty.
@DistantStarlight@xanga - agreeeeee
i don't understand most of these comments. it's like "how dare you cherish your girlfriend!" i mean, why the heck not? ya know.. you guys have been together 13 years, it's obviously working, so you keep doin' what you do
it sounds like you are trying to make it up to the mother of your child and son by treating them better because you couldn't be there for them when you were incarcerated. I think what you are doing is called redemption, not putting her on a pedestal or pedestalizing, because putting someone on a pedestal means that you have high expectations of other people, so she is putting you on a pedestal to repent for your mistakes. my definition is expecting people to live up to their own expectations of what they expect of other people.
To me, putting someone on a pedestal is more like having impossible expectations for someone, not being in love with them, but who they'd like them to be, up on that pedestal.
You sound like you are loving and supportive. I'd call it just being an awesome boyfriend/husband as opposed to pedestalizing, but then again, it can mean different things to different people. For me, it's something unhealthy that I used to see a lot of my girl friends in high school do with basically every guy they dated. What you do, and what they were doing, sound like two different things entirely. :]]
pedastal is not love
everybody is entitled to they're opion but my motives are good. i want my girl to know that i love her and will continue to love regardless of any flaws she may have. i know we all have defects.
It's hard to put a person up on a pedestal when he won't even fall for you.