He said to me that it isn't that I love him, but it's that I want him.
Can wanting someone make you feel this crappy? I may sound dramatic, but does wanting someone make you want to rip out your own heart and never want to feel again. Does wanting someone make you cry so hard, and your heart hurt so much that you cannot breathe?
When do you know when it's love? Or when it's just desire?
I want to know the difference, before I keep chasing after someone who I think I love, but in the end it's just someone that I want more than I love.
I don't look at love that easy, so what is love and how is it distinguished from the other feelings that I feel? Is love never concrete? And if it's not then how do people say I love you?
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When you love someone you want them...
@GiantUnicorn@xanga - Agreed but you can want someone without loving them. Love is much more than the physical, it's also the emotional attachment you have with someone that doesn't change even after circumstances in you, the other person and life changes.
I mean loving someone also means wanting them.It took me a while to realize that I was in love with my SO and he used to tell me that I was infatuated with him and not really in love with him and it used to piss me off. I really sat and thought about it and I realize that I love him because there is not a single night when I don't go to bed thinking about him.There is not a time when we're not apart and I don't worry about him.Thoughts of him make me smile. You know you love someone when you're planning events in the future and you make sure to include that person. You know you love someone when you know longer think about just yourself but you think in two's...you think about how your actions will affect the other person. Loving someone is when you realize that you're totally uninhibited around them and when you feel like an hour with them feels like only a minute.
They definitely come hand in hand. But, if you just wanted him, I do not think you'd feel that crappy. I have just wanted people, and when they let me down, I'm more pissed off then hurt. Yeah it's rejection all the same, but rejection by the one you love hurts far worse.
I love him, but oh how I want him right now. Friday will not come soon enough.
Loving somebody is a selfless interest and investment in their happiness, regardless of what it takes to achieve that, and regardless of whether that it involves you. That's why there is so much truth to phrase, "If you love someone, you'll let them go." It's not about being selfish and wanting to be around them all the time, or thinking about them all the time. These things often come with love, but they in themselves can also just be infatuation. Love is not self serving.
That's not love.
sounds like you love him to me.
Well, if you want someone, they must have something that you want. If you love them, then you'd want to be with them even if they had nothing left to lose.
Seems like you're making him feel as if you only want him, not that you want and love him. Or maybe he just doesn't want you anymore and he's saying it's you, when it's really him.
Either way, you can want someone without loving them and love someone without wanting them too (although that's obviously a different kind of love). But you can definitely do both at once as well.
I dont think its about love and want. If you love someone you want them. I think its more like love or obsession..
Loving someone is when you're more interested in their needs- making them happy, taking into consideration how they feel and what they want, making compromises, and working together. You realize you cant live your life without them in the whole picture, but you can still function a normal life without them constantly by your side because you know they'll always be there.
Obsession is extremely unhealthy and is more when you want someone for your own needs, whether it be physical or maybe you rely on them emotionally. You have a hard time functioning without their presence because you dont know for sure if they'll come back.
It might sound like there's a fine line, but when you look at the little details you realize there's a big difference. And you'll realize whether its love or obsession within time.
there are many versions of what 'love' means. each person has their own.
i think of love as having to be something special and unique (no two loves are alike) and rare (likelihood of falling). of caring so much, and believing so much in the other person that you can do absolutely anything in the idea that you are making the person happy and have whatever sorrow or pain out weighed by joy that you actually mean something to 'em.because of this, love must be before you know them. for once you know them the irrationality of the feeling ceases to be, for you have evidence to make a decision. love is knowing them, and how thon is different without having to ask. but wanting to anyway, just to hear the person speak...
love is when you are disappointed but it still is a pleasant surprise, because you are knowing him.love is when your heart breaks, and you find the broken heart more beautiful than before... because she did it.
wanting is something that develops out of comfort overtime, because people don't like change after all things can change for the worse. wanting is also when something other than emotional or intellectual needs are being met by the other person. but it is not love. not to me at least.
The truly big difference between want and love is the different point of view between the two. Desire is more based on your happiness and what makes you directly feel good (not feeling good as in, oh, i made him happy, that makes me happy. Feeling good, as in, man, having someone by my side sure makes me feel great about myself). Love, meanwhile, is very selfless, and it's a desire to make that person happy above all else. Sometimes, though, it's a downfall. This occurs when it isn't reciprocated. You make the other person happy, but they should be doing it return, as well, for the relationship to thrive.
It takes two! That's where i recently went wrong.
well from my experiences, i've found that when i JUST want someone and then find out they don't want me, i'm like eh whatever within a few days. when i LOVE someone and find out they don't love me back.. that kills for a very long time.
Want and love doesnt always come hand in hand, but wanting can definitely be the aftermath of love. When you're in love, you want them to love you in return...while if you want someone, it doesnt always mean you're in love with them. I think that's how you can distinguish the two.
I agree with what most people are saying here about love but whenever I hear "Desire" or "Want" (especially if it's one-sided) I start thinking Fatal Attraction...
When I love someone, I just want to be there for them rather than them being with me.
I love my girl and I want her.
Hope she feels the same!!
I also agree love should be self-less to a degree. Infatuation is one-sided, love considers the other person's needs but it should be a mutual give and take of attention, affection and needs.
When you love someone you want them also. But if its just want, you get him sexually or whatever, and you don't want him anymore.
I am currently in this boat. I hate him more than I love him but he says I hate that I do love him. It is love though. For me, I know because I'm happier when I talk to him; because he called, it was a good day; and it can't be just any guy-it has to be him.
Want turns into love, love turns into want. Talk to him about it, but give it time, too.
Love is different in many ways and with every person it is different. Your first love, when it happens, you will know. I thought I loved someone once but we were just seeing each other. I learned a year later, it wasn't love. It took me a relationship and to really fall in love to know what it feels like. You will know what love is when it happens. I can say that Love is: Wanting to talk to them about what happened to you today, as well as them sharing there day with you. Staring into each others eyes, Feeling like you fit together, Seeing something at a store and instantly thinking of them, Working things out together and not separately (you have to work as a team),... lots of little things. Things I did wrong would be spending too much time with one person, made it very exhausting later one. We got to comfortable and we kept at our normal routines. Not having enough me/her time basically. Don't let love blind you. Have your friends and let them have theres and don't spend every waking moment together, it ruins EVERYTHING. Oh... and wanting them goes hand in hand. If they don't want you and you want them, they dont love you back. Not unless they are lying to you because there scared of sharing that emotional connection you get when having sex.
along with what most people are saying...think of love more as a verb, not as a feeling. "want" is the feeling, and that comes and goes. love sticks around because it puts the other person first and shoves self aside.
@floater4589@xanga - Well said. Couldn't agree more!