Sunday, 13 December 2009

• Regret and Letting Go

  
  

  This past October, I dated this guy who was Muslim. I, however, am Catholic. We talked about our different religions but decided to give the relationship a try because who knows what could happen and plus, we're only in high school.

  Anyway we dated for three weeks and everything was good, that is, until he showed up at my house one day saying I wasn't "romantic" enough for him and that we were bound to break up anyway because of our religions. I was devastated because he knew the kind of person I was and how hard it is for me to break out of my shell and trust people. Instead of showing that I was hurt and telling him that I didn't want to break up, I got angry, said some things I shouldn't have and left, while he sat in my driveway and cried. A few days after I apologized saying I missed him, but it was too late. He wanted nothing to do with me.
  

  So, I tried dating someone else. He got pissed, and texted me saying never to talk to him again. Apparently he was angry that I decided to date someone else while I was trying to get back together with him. But that wasn't the case at all. I was just hurt and alone and needed someone to get my mind off things, which I know, was wrong. I broke up with the new guy and tried being friends with my ex. However, he hated me. We have a class together and now ignores me everyday like I don't exist, flirting with every girl in the class. He tells me to move on and forget the past because he has, and that he can't be friends with someone who acts this way. But he doesn't understand. I regret our break up every day.
  

  Not a moment goes by that I don't think about him. It's been nearly two months since we split, and here I am, still not over it. I understand now that I wasn't ready for our relationship, and I pushed him away when he really needed me. I would give anything to change how I acted when I dated him and appreciate him. I didn't know what I had. Now I'm stuck in this situation where I care entirely too much about this, and he doesn't care at all. It's hard to move on from something when it's all you want. If only there was a way to go back in time, and fix my mistakes. He has no idea how much he means to me and it's all my fault that I figured it out too late. I know I need to let go, but it's a lot easier said, than done.

  Have any of you been in a similar situation where "you didn't know what you had 'till it was gone"? What did you do to fix the situation, if you could?

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