Saturday, 12 December 2009

  • How was 2009 for You and Your SO?


    Gosh how time flies, it's just two weeks till Christmas and a little bit more than three before another new year begins - 2010.  I don't know about you, but I have often found myself, at the year comes to a close, looking back and reflecting about what has happened over the past year.  I start to mentally evaluate what kind of year it was.  Based on my own experiences, some years are totally forgettable.  You know, nothing much happens and you just plod along as usual.  Then there are years which alter you life for some unknown reason. 

    As I look back at this past year I find myself asking, for instance, if 2009 fulfilled any of my expectations?  Were there any surprises?  Was it memorable or unforgettable in some way?  Was it a ho hum and mediocre year?  How has it been overall?  Well, before I analyze this year, I want to talk about 2008.  This time last year I wrote a facebook note about the year that was passing... 

    2008 was one of those years that altered my life.  Initially I didn't understand why I was feeling the way I did, at my age.  Throughout most of the year I seriously thought, silly as it may sound, that I was under some horrid curse or perhaps going through a prolonged stroke of bad luck because everything (that mattered to me) seemed to go wrong.  Or so I thought so at the time.  While I had everything most people want such as a husband, kids, financial security, good job and various other material things, why, in God's name was I feeling so restless?  Why was I asking myself so many questions such as "is this it?" Was I going through some kind of midlife crisis?  Isn't that something that is supposed to happen to men, or so I thought at the time?  I really didn't understand what was happening to me.  I didn't understand why I didn't just shut up, count my blessings and accept my life as it was. 

    In retrospect I don't think that you realize at the time that the events that unfold in a particular year happen for a reason.  While you may initially resist the radical thoughts inside your head and while you may try your best to keep the peace by not ruffling any feathers and basically continue plodding along, deep down you know you can't.  You know this because a little voice inside your head keeps nagging you to listen to your heart and go with your gut feeling.  Your inner voice, though you may not know it at the time, is guiding you towards the right direction.  You're at a crossroad - that much you know.  You need to make a decision - a crucial one.  2008 was the year it had to be taken.  Perhaps a little earlier than I ended up doing.       

    I kept on stalling for many months because crucial decisions, no matter how long overdue they are, are scary to contemplate let alone actuate.  This is simply because people, in general, fear change. We get used to the way things are and get scared of having to face unknown territory and upsetting our lives even if they aren't the ones we want to live. Still, the inevitable is inevitable.

    Though I have the habit of overanalyzing, I have come to the conclusion that it's useless trying to overanalyze life situations in the hope of trying to come to some rational understanding of why things happen when and the way they do. They just do!  For me 2008 was an unforgettable year in so many ways.  I met many new people.  I met Jan.  I experienced both highs and lows.  I had a few unpleasant surprises and pleasant ones too.  And I eventually garnered enough courage to make a life-changing and long-overdue decision towards the end of the year.  It was not easy to make and because I made it...there was trouble.  Yet, hard as it was, it was the right one.  As for this year, well... I need to think about it some more :)

    Today's song post is Trouble which was released by Coldplay in 2000.  I chose this song for the simple reason that I listened to it so many times during that year and because I'm truly sorry if my actions were interpreted as trouble.

    Have there been any years that altered your life in any way?  How has this past year been for you and your SO?

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