Saturday, 12 December 2009
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You Pushed Me Away
I was really getting good with the whole not texting you thing. Ya know, wait for you to text me, yet even then I wouldn't respond. I know how you get when you think I'm mad, especially at you. You hate it. You hate the fact that somebody might actually be mad at you. Why do you do the things you do? Honestly, tell me.
A month or two ago I would have come running back to you every single time I was upset. You would in return, push me away. That made me feel even worse though. So now, why is it that when I'm finally starting to move on, you come running back to me?
Back when I was vulnerable, your texts, your smile, your smell would have made me fall, sure. Seeing you would have made me want you, and being upset would make me need you. But now, now I'm doing okay without you. I'm still living, aren't I? That's something I never thought was possible a little while ago. I said I couldn't live without you. I guess that was my lie.
I think what you're trying to do, is make sure I'll never stop loving/wanting/needing/missing you. That's why you barely talk to me, but the times you do, you make them worth it. It's like when I talk to a new guy, you do something extra to make me want you more, but this time, it's not working. You can talk to me all you want, flaunt yourself in front of my face, tell me you love me, kiss me, and guess what, I'm still not going to want you.
Because, this time, this time I'm moving on and letting you go.
I know we should be able to be friends, but friends don't lie to you, they don't stab you in the back, they don't make you distrust them, and they sure as hell don't break your heart.
So, maybe one day we'll be friends, but for now, I'm letting you go.
Have you ever had to do this? Are you in the process now?
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Comments (35)
Yep. Best friends for 7 years and dated for 4 years and we both dont want to let each other go. Its sooooo hard when you generally love someone, despite the fact that you know you deserve better and so does he. But its true, time, friends, chocolate, and violent videogames solves all!
its life the hardest thing is always "lettin go" b.c the mentality is afraid, always afraid of the outcome, sometimes ppl cling to a certin relationship, even when its been faded is b.c
A) thry dont want to re go thro it with some1 else drama wise
B) they dont want the person they arent completely over, Happy with some1 else, that could of been them
C) b.c that person has once accepted them for their flaws, as well as all the memories special with just that person.
kool green room btw Cheers!, your the first girl i know to have her broom green besides myself,
sigh. this is exactly how i feel towards my ex fiance. it's been one year, and i'm finally moving on, and he's shocked by this lol. turns out i'm stronger than I thought.
Yes, I was in that situation before.
this is exactly what is happening in my life right now. wow.
I was in the exact same spot a couple months ago during the summer. This guy and i had been having what i call an emotional affair back and forth for a couple of years. He'd tell me he loved, he wanted me and everything else but the catch was he had a girlfriend. Well one day they finally broke up and he started dating again and every time he was down or upset, he would text me and come see me at work. After that break up we finally decided to date. It was great, it lasted a whole month but the month to me was great. After we broke up we were cool and then everything hit the fan. I told him that i had to quit talking to him and lose all my connections with him. Even though sometimes i try to take it back and try to talk to him, he refuses. This might not be the exact same thing as what your going through but i think it's pretty close. I to thought things would never be the same without him,i would be the same without him. I am though. I sometimes wish i could take back everything i said because i honestly regret it but i feel like i'm a stronger person for it. Sorry this is really long and might not make sense!
definitely. she's so bipolar, and says one thing, then does another. it's all very childish. what's even worse is that she tries to guilt trip me, and tries to blame me, when all i ever wanted to do was make her happy. well, i guess now it's time to make myself happy.
so there with you!!
I wish I was in the process.
I just can't let him go!
But he does the same exact thing to me.
yeah. it's so difficult when that other person does the things they do. they say they want to be friends, but they think you think of them so much that it makes you think that way too.
it's screwed up. but we move on.
Well, if he was treating you badly, that's no good. But as for the, friends don't break your heart, I mean they may not want to, but if they don't feel the same way anymore, you can't blame them.
I'm glad you're moving on, I feel like we've all had ex's who hold on just slightly. I dated a guy for 11 months, broke up, didn't talk for 2 months, and then he'd call me every now and again, and then I met a guy who I fell in love with, actually my best friend, and my ex still calls me from time to time... it sucks, but luckily I found someone who treats me better, and I have a lot more in common with.
Good luck! He's not worth your tears!
@yourherworldkidd@xanga - You can let him go, not talking always helps. as hard as that is.. :(
my goodness. i remember being 15 and going through exactly what you're going through.
i am 20 now, and for the first time in 5 years i can honestly say i don't love him anymore. i once thought he wanted me to hold on forever so he plays these game, but really, hes just an ass. i guess guys do this for a variety of reaasons, they came from a broken home, they don't have a mother, more commonly they just wanna feel like they're important.
ANYONE IS TOO GOOD FOR THIS BULLSHIT.
I HOPE U NEVER WENT BACK LIKE I DID
I'm practically dealing with that right now. Although he's the one that is moving on me I'm just trying to be happy with my life and yet he's trying to come back. It sucks going through this but at the same time. The only thing you have to do is move on. If someone truly loves you they wouldn't want to hurt you right?
ya, i am in also in the same process right now, I know is hard to let go and only be friends, but I know I have to do it anyway and I believe I can, because I know this is for the best for both of us, especially myself!
yeah. i am. i have been for awhile now. he always came back whenever i was talking to somebody new. i text him, he don't text back. so now, its like whatever. i pretty much never want to speak to him ever again. it hurts too bad to think about what we had, and what we have now (which is nothing). moving on takes time, but in the end, it's worth every second.
In the process right now. It's touch and go. I have good and bad days.
"Learn to let go young. Cause it's when you're older is when you need it the most."
Anyway, Going through that current;y. It's so fun isn't it? [/Sarcasm.]
major.mother.fucking.props.
don't give up.
i felt like i could have written this exact same thing. i know all the reasons to let go, but my heart won't listen...
yes this is happening to me right now, we was friends for 1 year and together for 6 months, he ended it broke my heart and is now trying to flaunt himself to me, but it doesnt hurt as much as it used to and im happy im moving on and it feels good!
You're a strong girl. I've been on the brink of these feelings for a few weeks now. It feels good, in a sad way.
It's really good to know I'm not the only one :) Thanks so much for posting this.
beeen there & still going through it. i had a boy that i went out with at the least 8 times; a few months here couple weeks there. it really depended on him. but everytime i would find someone new to talk to he would pop up & text me or try to talk to me when i saw him. but when i wasnt talking to anyone i wouldnt get a text or call or anything from him. we just broke up & i told him this was it. im moving on & not loooking back. this time he isnt gettting back into my lifee
story of my life.
*jumps up and down raises hand* ... yes me me.. :) ...
oh well i'm about to make that move... but i'm unsure... *pfffff*