Thursday, 10 December 2009
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I Want to Grow Old with You
There is a question I was recently asked that I need some other views on.
Is there a difference for the love you have towards your significant other and the love you have towards your best friend?
When you are in love with a boyfriend/girlfriend, they mean almost everything to you. You can trust them with your life, and would probably die for them. They are the person you go to when you're feeling down, and they're the person you want to grow old with. You want to be in a retirement home with them, talking about the old days.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that a best friend?
I know your significant other is supposed to double as your best friend. But can a best friend double as a significant other? Most people say it doesn't work in that manner, but if you really sit down and think about it, why not? A friendship may be lost in the end...but a great love may also be created.
I pretty much see it as a risk we may need to take. I know jumping can be frightening, and someone may not always be there to catch you, but what's life without a little risk? Maybe someone will catch you at the end of that jump. Or maybe you'll end up having wings and being able to fly by yourself. Or maybe, just maybe, your best friend will have wings and fly right beside you. Who knows.
Maybe this is a bit different in my eyes. My best friend is a guy. He means everything and more to me. We talk about getting married, and living together, and growing old in a retirement home. We're a lot a like, but we do have differences. Our differences make us even better friends. He makes me smile, all the time. And I know for a fact that I make him happy. Everyone always tells me to date him, but I'm not sure how that would end up happening. We've discussed having feelings towards each other, but it never went any farther than that.
I may need to just listen to myself, and jump. Take a little risk when the time is right.
Do you think that best friends can double as a significant other? Would the risk of losing a great friend out weigh the risk of gaining a great love?
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About the Author
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- From: Believe_InMe
- About Me: I'm an 18 year old girl that enjoys expressing how I feel. I like to see everyone's opinion on what I have to say too. I always have controversial views and will never hold back.
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Comments (36)
I am, and have been, dating a guy who started out as my best friend for 3 1/2 years now. You're best friend is the best person to date, imo, because they know you're good days, and your ugly days, lol.
He's my best friend, but I have other best friends, too. I also have a girl best friend, and I have school best friends because the other two are hundreds of miles away during the semester. I like the relationship we have as both lovers and best friends, because I think there are different dynamics there. But I also wouldn't give up my girl best friend, because some things he just can't empathize with.
I don't think you lose your friendship just because you fall in love, especially if it works out. My husband and I have a GREAT friendship, he is without a doubt my best friend. But we're also incredibly in love. I think it's possible to have both....an amazing friendship and a great love. :)
We were best friends for about 4 years before the timing was right and we dated :)
I feel it's rare to have both sides reciprocate the feelings ... so seize on the opportunity...and never ask what if. I haven't looked back."A friendship may be lost in the end...but a great love may also be created." --- I like this line.
I don't like it when people refuse to try things because of the fear of the wrong that might happen without really considering the possible great outcome of a decision.
My boyfriend is my best friend. :) But we became lovers first before we became best friends. It's weird but it happened.
I believe love and friendship are completely possible =) . I love your post.
Well, my best friend is a girl and that wouldn't work out very well for me ;) But what you're saying makes sense.
my boyfriend was my best friend before we started dating...
I'm never looking back.
I refer to him more often as my best friend, honestly.
My boyfriend and I are more than just lovers, he's my other half and best friend. He's the only one I can tell basically everything to! If you want to be more than just a best friend with him, than go for it! If you guys feel no "chemistry" with one another after going into a committed relationship, than you guys should go back to being friends.
But how would you know otherwise if you don't try it? Better trying and knowing rather than being curious for the rest of your life.
I am (and my bf) a walking example of this. Your lover can definitely be your best friend. Best relationship I've ever had. Long conversations at night, just being happy they are in your life...couldn't ask for better. <3
Love and friendship should be synonymous...as long as you dont love your friend who doesnt love you in return "in that respect", you're a-ok. I think that's the best ways couples work out is if they have the trust that a friendship always has, but the love that is necessary to carry them a step further than just friendship.
we were best friends for like 5? 6 years? before we kissed, and started dating. it's been a year and a half so far :)
I've always believed that your best friend will be your significant other, either you start as bffs and then become more or the opposite. I think either path, you end up with the same result.
Sometimes It doesn't work out though. I was best friends with this guy and he liked me, then we started dating, and it hasn't worked out too well. We're on a "break." Whether we get back together and it all works out I don't know, but I can say that sometimes your best friend is best left at that - a friend.
My boyfriend is currently my EVERYTHING. I think about him when i go to sleep, when i wake up, when i bake cookies, when i'm watching a movie, when i saw a cute shirt, when i saw a cute something anywhere, any time... however, i am not that obsessive about the liking of my best friends (I have one that's a girl and another that'a a boy). I would love to grow old with my best friends, have their kids play with my kids, and have family bbqs and what else. I want to have KIDS with my boyfriend (yes, yes it's true) and not with my best friends.
the love for my best friends are not equivalent to the love of my boyfriend. however, my best friends have outlived many boyfriends and although with this boyfriend, im feeling heights of my emotions like this for the first time, my best friends are with me because i don't date them. I do love them but I don't want to date them. I don't want to live with my best friends, I don't want to wake up to them, I don't want to sleep with them, I don't want to feed them all the sorts of things I can cook/bake.make, whatever... there is a clear distinction of LOVE between my BOYFRIEND and my Best friends. So yes... THERE IS A DIFFERENCE.
My husband is definitely my best friend. Absolutely, beyond a doubt. Sure, I have other best friends, but none like him.
i took that leap back in '95. I had known my best friend for about 5 years at that point and we decided to take it there. We were together for about 2 years then we fell apart. I lost him as a friend but i dont mind due to the circumstances that we broke up under. Its worth it IMO.
Yeah, I think that in some cases best friends can become lovers for life. I married my best friend this year. :) It was scary to take that leap to start dating back in 2007 but one day I realized that if I didn't I would always regret it.
I'd rather be in a relationship with someone first, starting as just friends, and grow into best friends over time spent together as a couple. If you stay together well, there you go. But if you don't, you're not losing the complete other half of you either.
You're right, they're close, but I think the difference is attraction & how you perceive each other romantically... like, some guy/girl best friends are more like brother/sister, where you care about them like family, but like family don't know if you'd want to share a room with them for your life or sleep with or be intimate with... depends what 'kind' of love you have for each other I guess
I want to grow old with my SO/best friend/partner in crime/ someone whos willing to complete a honey do list etc etc etc.
it works. im in a relationship with my best friend right now, and its working out great for the both of us. best friends know what makes you tick, what you don't like. they know EVERYTHING, they can tell if you're being genuine or if something really irks you without you saying it straight out. i'd say go for it.
It can work.
I just started dating my best friend of 3 years a few months ago, and I've never been happier. :]
Even if you do decide to date this guy and it doesn't work, it's not entirely impossible to go back to being friends with someone you've slept with. I've been in that situation and we remained just as tight as we always were, maybe even moreso then before. It's even funny to joke about having seen eachother naked before, haha. I wish you the best.
sometimes a friend needs to be left a friend, guys are always different so outcomes can be different but it doesnt always work out as planned. i had a friend who we could talk for hours and hours, i loved him sooo freaking much, but i had a b.f, my friend and i just stayed friends, until he did somthing really awkward he sent me a pic of this thing @_@ just to me, and it felt insulting,
He just wanted to see my "reaction" he wanted me to start liking him different, we stopped being best friends, then theres my current b.f we used to be "Really close friends" b4 dating, once the "dating" happend, its like we stopped being "good friends", he used to tell me everything, then he started hiding that he would flirt behind my back, and be friends with these whore bags. The fighting was emotionally draining, it doesnt happen anymore but that "friendship" we had we can Never go back to anymore. I found out meeting a guy that isnt a close friend to begin with and starting fresh worked the best in my past, but good luck to you, i really hope things work<3