I can categorically say I have the pre-first date jitters worse than anyone I know. It's the not knowing that always gets me. You see first dates have the potential to go one of two ways. The optimal way being everything goes smoothly. Conversation comes easy and no food gets stuck in your teeth. Major score. But this isn't always the case. First dates can also go terribly wrong. The tear out your hair with boredom as you watch him slurp soup off his spoon kind of wrong.
Bad first dates are like bad romantic comedies, the kind you get second-hand embarrassment from just watching. There are a few things that I wish all guys would inherently know to do on a first date to ensure that things will at least end pleasantly, if not amazingly.
1.
Pick the girl up. As much as I like to have my own getaway car, I find it's easier if we both arrive together in the same vehicle than having to awkwardly stand alone at the restaurant until he arrives. Especially if you thought he meant the Olive Garden on Main St. while he's waiting across town at the Olive Garden on Rt. 35. Unfortunately, that's happened more often that I'd like to admit.
2.
Ask questions! Nothing is worse than feeling like the pressure is entirely on my shoulders to keep the conversation flowing. Besides, showing an interest in my life gets my date one step closer to that goodnight kiss, I'll tell you that much. Now, this doesn't mean you should go all Law & Order interrogation style on me, nor is this an interview. It should be a two-way conversation, after all. So ask me what I did today, how I like my job, what my dog's name is, engage me. I lead a very (at least mildly) interesting life, I promise, so ask me about it will ya!
3.
Listen. There is nothing, and I mean nothing, that makes me happier than when a guy recalls something we talked about earlier and remarks on it later. So listening to what I have to say on our first date is crucial if you really want to make me squirm on our second. (If you've earned a second, that is.) Just knowing that you weren't thinking about video games as I was talking about my holiday plans is huge. There won't be a quiz or anything, but you'll definitely get extra credit if you ask me how I enjoyed my Christmas Eve at my grandfather's house the next time we get together.
4.
Pay for the meal. I'm all for equal rights and the women's movement and all that. But if you asked me out on this date, I think it's only right for you to pay for it this time. Sure I will offer, but waving away my money without a second thought screams "financially dependent husband material" right in my face. Right up my alley. And I'll get ya next time. Don't worry, I'm good for it.
5.
Don't force the goodnight kiss. If you've earned it, you will know when the time comes. Don't make me give you the awkward cheek, please. I've seen so many accidental nose-in-eye scenarios happen that way.
What are some things you wish guys would do on a first date?
Guys, what do you wish girls would? (and I'm not accepting sex as a valid answer, although to be fair, we are discussing your ideal world.)
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Comments (14)
If I could have a dream first date I'd want my date to play First Date by Blink 182 in the car. It'd be an easy way to break the ice and to giggle about. I'd like it a lot!
Then go somewhere fun, like an interactive restaurant or sushi bar. He cannot look at his phone unless it rings & it's important or he's looking at the time. And then a walk around town or wherever to get to know each other more.
That'd be nice. Mhm
:]
Do not talk about other dates that you've had recently. My boyfriend unfortunately did this to me for...an hour? On our first date? It made me feel like a female friend doling out relationship advice to her guy friend -___- Way to friend-zone me.
Good thing I gave him another chance though ^^
Movies but no dinner, or even better, we can play video games. If he has an xbox 360 on hand, and doesn't let me win, it's obviously a love connection.
haha cute post...one BIG no no...dont answer phone calls or text on dates (unless it's of course an emergency)...horrible! I havent experienced it, but I can just imagine how awkward it might be.
Question for the ladies....do most of these points seem spot on to you? I had my first official date with this girl I really like last week, we talked and texted every day (and still do) before the first official date, and all these points seemed to be covered on my end, except no goodnight kiss. I dont go for the kiss until a mutual establishment has been settled. If most of you ladies agree, then I must a-ok
I love this post. SOOO true (:
Take me out to the ball game, take me out to the park!
Good post, i enjoyed reading it....Im married so no first dates for me anymore. just dates here and there when the hubz and i have the time and babysitter then we go out to a movie and a dinner.
For my ideal first date, I'd rather a guy to get a little bit more creative about what we do.
(a movie is just bleh)
Of course I'm not sayin' he needs to take me bungee jumping or rock climbing or anything, but maybe just something a little different, like going for a walk around the lake or maybe an arcade or something. ANYTHING besides sitting in a theater!
I'd want to have a decent level of communication. The first guy I dated we literally could NOT get a conversation going. We tried every topic, but couldn't find any middle-ground, lol.
It was a DISASTER!
It wasn't either of ours fault; we just had absolutely nothing in common, and since we both weren't chatty to begin with that didn't help matters, either.
I'd also like the guy to be himself, not try and play it up for me, or pretend he's something he's not. Honesty is sexy! <3
I'm not really a date kind of person...they can be intimidating. But I would love if the guy is making me laugh the whole time. It'd make things less awkward, and it's also something he should be able to do if he's the kind of guy I'd be with. Haha. And, of course, be yourself. It's not smart to only do things that you know are good for a first date and not really show who you are. That's kind of important. You also should not be texting or getting distracted by people around you. That just makes the person you're on the date with feel like crap.
This is easy and although most of the things you listed go both ways, heres a few more:
1.) If you talk a lot and you know it, shush a little bit (aka listen as well). We wont remember everything you say when youre talking 5000 words a second. Also, if you talk a lot, you may realize that youre not even really letting him open up. Then you cant blame him for "being too quiet". He was probably trying to be polite and not interrupt.
2.) Do not keep us waiting when we pick you up. I know every cliche post has this as one of things girls should or can do. Let me tell you, it doesnt "make us want you more" or "build up our anticipation". It builds only annoyance. Look, we made a reservation for a specific time and we arent going to miss it because you felt like primping for an extra 5 minutes (when you knew you looked fine).
3.) Most of the time, you women are the phone culprits, specifcally texting. Do not excessively text during a date. Its incerdibly rude and makes us feel completely uninteresting, which may or may not just make us shut up more. I mean hey, you obviously dont care what we have to say, might as well get through with the meal and get out early.
4.) (This probably doesnt apply to most women, but it happened to one of my friends)
If we are treating you to dinner and a movie or what not, do not then start asking to go other places that youre going to expect us to pay for. Some ice cream after everything is fine, but when you start mentioning other things like "OHHH, we should go bowling or mini-golfing!" or whatever, its obnoxious. Its a first date and we dont know if youre worth the financial investment yet. (Needless to say, that girl didnt get a call)
I think you meant "financially independent."
man, the park, nobody ever takes me to the park.
i don't usually go on first dates.. i don't think
omg, i just thought of something.. i've been with my boyfriend almost 5 months and we haven't ever been on an actual date.
wait, we did get high together once and drank a whole 2 liter bottle of dr. pepper while watching family guy.. maybe that counts as a date
I'd take a girl on a walk around town. Show her some of my favorite shops, have her show me some of hers. Hopefully we'd have some similar tastes... I'd buy her something cool...
All this after enjoying a good meal at home which we made together... and maybe closing the night with a movie at one of our places (or out on the big screen...). I'm more of a reserved person. I'd like to be more private/intimate but still romantic.
Any takers, ladies?
@nodnarbassoon@xanga - cute! haha i love the idea!
I'd like to go to those pier rides then a walk on the beach along with a picnic or at a restaurant ;P those are insanely cute. but obviously very movie like!