Tuesday, 08 December 2009
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Hold My Purse, Will Ya?
Last week, my brother and I decided to head to the mall hoping we’d find ideal Christmas presents for my other siblings (and shopping for me too, of course). We probably walked into about three stores until I asked a question that apparently, a woman should never ask a man:
“Can you hold my purse while I try this on?”
That was when my older brother felt the need to criticize what I had just asked. Since he is in his thirties, he always has some sort of “mature” relationship advice to give whenever we meet up since he believes I still have a lot to learn (I agree) and that he has had enough experience with girls to write his own book. It was completely wearisome to have to hear my brother go on and on about how I should never request for a guy to hold my purse. It was almost as if I committed a horrifying crime. But at the same time, it was comical that that single question bothered him so much.
“Never ask your boyfriend to hold your purse” was basically what he was advising in his little speech. Totally respectable since he is my big brother and he feels the need to try and give me the best advice possible. (Even if it turns into somewhat of a lecture) “I don’t hate it, I just don’t do it” was also something he mentioned.
Obviously, he thinks it’s not a good idea to hold a woman’s purse out in public. And this topic isn’t that serious so don’t jump to conclusions and think that my brother has some sort of defensive purse phobia. He’s a good guy but has his own take on certain things he will do.
But it makes me look back at all my boyfriends. Of course they were all bothered when I asked them to hold my purse, but I had boyfriends who refused just like my brother and I also had boyfriends who didn’t mind holding my purse. It was only recently with my brother that I was confronted about the question.
Personally, I believe it’s kind of charming when a man is willing to hold a woman’s purse. I loved it when the boyfriends who were willing to hold mine and didn’t complain. It’s not like I’m leaving the boyfriend in a corner of the mall with my purse while I browse through different stores. I hold my purse when I can but it’s nice not to have the hassle of a purse in the fitting room and such. And if a guy refuses because he doesn’t want to be embarrassed, that’s fine with me too. It didn’t hurt to ask!
Are there any girls out there who have boyfriends/husbands who are willing to hold your purse? (If so, LUCKY! :D)
And what about the guys, do you mind holding a woman’s purse while out, or will you refuse just like my brother?
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- From: shillykins
- About Me: I love talking but sometimes have trouble finding someone who will listen to me rant... That is why I blog. JUST created a Datingish account but still use my Xanga! I just want to start arranging all my Datingish blogs on something seperate than my random, unorganized Xanga so add me! :)
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Comments (106)
I don't carry a purse, but if I did, I would like to think the guy I was with wouldn't have a problem with it.
My woman asks me to hold her purse while she tries stuff on, its not very often...but we even coined a term for it 'purse monkey'. It's not that big of a deal...especially if she is getting to try something new on.
I wouldn't mind, and don't mind at all...its my girls purse, more than likely im at the mall, and people seeing me with it will get the message.
Either way...I'd have the desperate urge to look into the infamous endless pit, to see how much crap could possibly be stuffed into this little bag. (Seriously...do you girls play tetris? You should, for fitting this much into that small a bag!)
I don't carry a purse, and my "girl"friend doesn't either.
We have wallets. For the win.
guys should just suck it up and hold it. it's a nice gesture to hold something for you when you can't. what's the big deal? does it emasculate you? does holding a purse define your sexuality? does it bother you so much to care about what people in public think about you holding a purse?
cry me a river. please.
my boyfriend holds on to mine when I can't. he. does. not. give. a. fuck. he's nice about it.
my guy friend absolutely refuses to hold my bag or purse. he's completely obsessed with megan fox and i asked him if i was megan fox, would he hold it? he said he'd consider...and probably say no.
i don't see what the problem is. it's just a bag, and you only need to hold it for a couple minutes. not for an hour or so.
on the other hand, i have a friend who would grab everything i have on my hands. such a gentleman. haha.
My boyfriend has no problem with it. And I don't see the big deal. I hold his things when he needs me to as well. It's just a nice gesture. Not a statement.
My husband will hold my purse if it gets to heavy to carry, I carry around big purses because I can never seem to fit all I need in a small purse, or like you mentioned if I was trying on clothes. I don't ask him to do it all the time and I'm sure he finds no shame in it...at least I hope not and I never heard him complain about it. But for the most part, I like to carry my own purse.
This whole argument is so stupid. (Not the post, the point.)
I would be willing to hold something for my boyfriend if he asked me, and I do. He would hold my purse if I asked him to, and he does.
WHY is there this uber-masculine trend that men seem to think women are trying to feminize them by asking them to hold a purse for a whole goddamn 30 seconds? YOU try wearing something with pockets so tight you can't fit your wallet in it, or even without pockets. Or how about we start dressing like slobs with baggy clothes, and quit wearing makeup so we don't carry any of it around. Surely then this type of men would have something to say about that, as well.
Damned if we do and damned if we don't.
My ex always held my purse. Even when we were walking. I never had to hold a thing when we were together.
However, my current boyfriend refuses to hold my purse for very long. He'll hold it if I'm trying something on, but he won't carry it around :(
I don't really care that much either way, but I do like it when they'll hold it for a little bit when it's kind of needed.
Yeah, he didn't mind holding my purse/bag for awhile but I had to be careful not to carry any sweets/chewing gum because he would eat them like secretly lol.
Holding a purse wouldn't be a big deal. If you're less than five feet away, I don't see what the problem is.
Being afraid of holding a purse, or being afraid of what it looks like to others (or specifically perhaps to other men and/or perhaps available women) to be holding a purse for someone is one of the more useless things a guy can do. Seriously.
When a guy refuses to hold a purse, I don't care what they say, it is because they are afraid that they will be thought of as either gay or whipped or both. And I have to roll my eyes at any guy who is not secure enough with himself and his own sexuality that he has to worry about what other people may or may not be thinking about him.
However, that being said, I've also never asked a guy to hold my purse. I'm lucky enough that whenever I've needed to try something on the dressing room has been big enough so that I could easily bring my purse inside and set it down on something and not have to worry about knocking it over, stumbling over it, not having a place to sit if I needed to, etc. Not all dressing rooms are so spacious, though. :p
But, usually I shop with other girls so it isn't a problem if I should ever need someone to hold my purse. I just feel more secure having it with me where I can see it at all times. :p
If you're in a regular store (not a mall) its sometimes easier, though, because a lot of times you might have a cart and you could just leave your purse in the cart and ask your guy to "watch" your purse, instead of hold your purse.
And if they're even reluctant to do that much...that's pretty damn pathetic, if you ask me. o.O;
My husband will hold my purse if I ask him, and he won't give it back until I ask him for it. Sometimes he tries to be funny and I have to fight with him for it back, lol. I think he thinks it's part of his job as my man. =)
umm...this is an issue? looking back, i've asked past bf's to hold my bag for a sec and thought nothing of it. if a guy refused to hold my purse for me if it's encumbering what i'm doing, i would think he is inconsiderate and rude. i would never refrain from asking my boyfriend to do me a small favor, and i can't believe some guys would be offended by it. i guess it's a litmus test i didn't even know i was using? haha cuz i've never had a guy with a problem with it...
now, if they want to carry it around for me, that's just weird. it is MY purse, after all!
Purse holding rules I follow:
I will hold a purse if-
1.) It isn't ridiculously oversized OR I can fit it in my pocket/under my coat.
2.) The girl is within arms reach.
3.) I can hold it in some other way than by the actual handles i.e. one hand clutching the opening together (Don't like the way I hold it? Don't ask me to lol.)
4.) I don't have to hold it for more than 20 seconds.
The purse is an identifiably feminine object. (For a lack of the male equivalent, I'm going to go with this) I wouldn't ask my girlfriend to hold my jock strap while I look around at Dick's Sporting Goods.
@mcmeister89@mancouch - Yeahhhh but it's not like holding a purse makes you unmanly, if you're doing it for someone else. Not holding it, though, makes you seem like a wimp, I have to say.
@mcmeister89@mancouch - But if a woman asked you to hold her thong while she shopped, would you?
I don't ask the guy to hold my purse. I don't want to seen dating a 'girly guy'!
@nimbusthedragon@xanga - So you would hold the jock strap? It's the perception of it. I'm perfectly comfortable with my identity as a man, but it's just a courteous thing for women to not ask their guy to hold it. I have in the past, within those boundaries of course. The girl I'm dating now sees it exactly the same way, she never has and probably never will ask me to hold it. She's said that she prefers dating "manly men" and so she wouldn't want to see me holding any purse, even her own.
@i_r_keiko@xanga - I don't know... that may be even worse if the woman isn't holding my arm or something lol.
@mcmeister89@mancouch - Well... I actually wouldn't really have a problem with it, seriously, though I find that your comparison is apples and oranges. A purse is not the equivalent to a crotch-hugging implement. I mean, if I had you hold my tampons, then I could understand your grief, but seriously dude, just man up if it happens. Though personally, I wouldn't ask either, as a girl, for my bf to hold my purse.
Mine would probably carry his own purse if his pants pockets weren't big enough to fit everything he carries around.
I don't really care if she needs to try something on. As long as I don't have to start walking up and down the aisles with it. I if I go out with one of my girl friends, I'll always hold their bags though.
@mcmeister89@mancouch - (for one, let's notice this kind sir's affiliation with "mancouch")
I would hold my SO's purse, tampons, jock strap, biking helmet, DSi, lacy panties, plaid boxer shorts, jumper cables, prenatal vitamins, or puppy if they asked me to do so politely - so should you, it's called *courtesy*.
I think it's pretty ridiculous that you're saying it's rude for a woman to ask a man to hold her purse. It's rude to ask for assistance now? Oh, I forgot, it'll probably give you a clitoris or make you have a wet dream about Adam Lambert if you hold a purse. *rolls eyes*
The idea of "manly men" is one rooted in sexism and homophobia. Newsflash: even if someone thought you were gay because you were holding a purse, that wouldn't be a bad thing (just inaccurate, I assume).
My boyfriend doesn't have a problem with it. Sometimes he even willingly grabs it for me when it seems like I won't be able to get it. I agree, it's charming.