Sexiling in college dorm rooms may become obsolete now that schools such as Columbia University are now allowing boys and girls to live together in
coed dorm rooms.I can't decide if this is a good or bad idea. It seems like a crash course in living together for couples. A mindset along the lines of: "If we can survive being college roommates, we can survive anything." Living in sin has never been made so easy, especially when your parents are paying for it!
There are obvious benefits:
- You no longer need to force your roommate to sleep in the lounge when you invite your SO over for a sleepover.
- Puts an end to the infamous Walk of Shame.
- The chances of cheating seem to be cut down tremendously seeing as if one or the other doesn't come home at night they will have some explaining to do in the morning.
- It can also be educationally beneficial -- having both the male and female mind working together and playing to each others' strong suits in the classroom and studies.
But there are also drawbacks:
- This is a college setting, not a marriage. There are bound to be gender-caused conflicts. Such as when I want to stay in and watch The Notebook while he wants to throw a pregame with his frat brothers and then drunkenly play Madden into the wee hours of the night.
- What happens if a couple moves in together and then decides to call it quits? I foresee a lot of roommate reassignments coming Columbia's way.
- Distractions, distractions, distractions. I can't decide if this will ease or put more pressure on sexual tension.
- And for those of us who are single, I can only imagine the shame that will come our way. "Oh, so you're not living with anybody special? That's too bad."
I truly wonder what will come from this experiment. If it works out wonderfully, I predict a lot of young couples getting engaged right after or even during their college years. Living together is a big step in that direction after all. But if it doesn't work out, I can expect a lot of clothes being thrown out windows and fights breaking out across campus. Good luck, Columbia!
Would you ever live with your SO in college? Do you think mixed-gender dorm rooms are a good idea?
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Comments (61)
I think it's an OK idea. Not entirely good. Not entirely bad. Good because, well, I encountered having a hard time looking for a dorm room that wouldn't allow me and my brother who goes to the same college I do to be in one room. I find this really ridiculous. But I suppose the culture is just different. (Filipino, btw).
It definitely has its pluses. I agree with DISTRACTIONS. Very much.
I think it's a good idea. People just need to make sure they know what they're getting into if they dorm with someone of the opposite sex.
I'd rather live with boys. I'm not a big fan of girls. Theres exceptions tho but i find i can tolerate boys way more. Its not a big deal. Not every girl and guy wanna bang eachother so why not.
although i don't know that it would have benefitted me at all I went to a private Christian based college for my first year and a half and got in minor trouble for having my boyfriend stay the night, yet down the hall there was a girl who was a lesbian whom i know for a fact was able to stay over in her room whenever she pleased. And will i'm not bashing anyone why is it fair that a gay/lesbian couple should be able to room together as they please because they are the same gender while a heterosexual couple can't room together because it's "wrong" but it is a very interesting idea...i almost think it should be something reserved for upperclassmen, because i see a lot of high school sweethearts rooming together and realizing they can't stand living together.
interesting. well, I guess. I always said i wanted to room with my best friend, who's a gay guy, and this would allow that. the only problem i see is that the dorm is going to have to deal with a buuunch of room-change requests, and that could be a real drag from an objective point of view.
I don't like the idea of living with someone before marriage. But I'm old fashioned. But, all of that aside...
I remember the guys I went to college with. They were gross. Like, never changing sheets and only doing laundry twice a semester and leaving empty pizza boxes lying around for months. Ew. I'm SURE this gets better with age but I can't imagine having to share a dorm room with an 18 or 19 year old male. I really like to keep things somewhat organized and definitely clean. But that's just me. It's hard enough to clean up after my husband and I LOVE taking care of him, I can't imagine dealing with it in a space the size of a dorm room. I would go crazy. (Not to say girls aren't messy....I just think about the guys I went to college with and, they were way worse.)
"Distractions, distractions, distractions"
I could foresee myself neglecting my lab reports and assignments IF I lived with my SO. Whoever he is. So the answer is NO. :p
sounds like an interesting idea. Not sure if I would partake but then again the offer was never on the table.
I defiantly dont think it should be for couples. I agree, cuz what will happen? Every time they break up they change roommates. Really, I dont think it would work out so great anyway. None of your benefits really justify why they should have coed dorm rooms. A girl needs her personal space separate from a man (and vise versa), and a dorm room just isnt big enough to accommodate that. Its hard enough living in that confined space with another person of the same gender. I dont think its smart to start mixing it up. If a boy and girl want to live together they can get their own house or apartment. But not in a dorm room, thats just begging for disaster.
i like the idea of coed dorm rooms. however, i foresee lots of housing issues with people breaking up, pulling bitchfits, and wanting room changes. that's not really acceptable because the poor housing department isn't responsible for your shit. guy roommates are cool, but if you want to live with an SO, proceed with caution...
Lived with a bf for one year in college - it was the worst year of my life, lol.
I dont think it's a great idea simple because of if they do break up the college would have to spend a lot of time with reassigning and what not or there will be constant dorm room drama (more so than already). If a couple wants to live together they can just live off campus so they arent bringing the school into their problems, like my boyfriend and I.
what if you aren't placed in the same room as your so?
i don't think it's any different than living with the same gender. same issues also arise. more so if you were actually dating the roommate..don't think a lot of parents would consent though.
To say that the policy doesn't bode well just because you're assuming that a co-ed dorm room consists of a couple is completely false. The roommates could be best friends, friends who share similar living habits, or the like. (For example, I live in my apartment with 4 boys and only one other girl! I just live better with boys!) Columbia is just trying to be progressive and giving the students CHOICE. (But the policy is sort of weird and foreign; when I told my sister -- who graduated from Columbia a few years ago -- she just said, "Really?! How weird...."
About it being a couple in a dorm room, well obviously -- it could be problematic, but it ultimately -- like always -- depends on the relationship between the two people. I think Columbia's great in giving people the opportunity to choose that if they wish.
When my school first opened up the idea of co-ed housing, the first person my mind jumped to was my male best friend, NOT my SO. The apartment they offered it in was too far away for my tastes, though, so I ended up rooming with some girls instead.
@black_lie@xanga - That's who I thought of when I read this: my best male friend.
I think this whole coed dorming would be ok if they made a "no SO" rule or something... don't really know how they'd implement that or keep tabs on everybody.
a lot of unis that do this (columbia is definitly no the first) refer to coed rooms as glbt-friendly housing. students request these rooms because they don't feel comfortable sharing with people of the same sex because of their sexual orientation, or because they want to ensure whoever they are assigned to (they both request this ttpe of housing) is understanding.
Pros and cons. But I do think there would be too much of a distraction if I were to always be with my boyfriend.
the post made it seem like its only for couples but i'm guessing its for non-couples and randomly assigned roommates too.
i think more of the issue could be that neither one would be to really relax and just be comfortable or do whatever the fuck you want without caring what your roommate thinks in their own room which is kind of key in your dorm room. (yes, i realize that can happen with same gender roommates, trust me, i do but its to a different degree with opposite sex roommates)
@XxFireXboltxX@xanga - yeah, boys are vile. i mean my room was usually messy but boys take it to a whole other level, the unsanitary level. i think that would be a main cause of roommate conflict
I think it's a bad idea. If you're with an SO, there should be time for you to be apart, as absence truly makes the heart grow fonder. What if you get into a fight? You can't sleep two feet away. There's going to be some storming out of the room and if it's a shared one, that'll be a problem in itself. I think the differences in males and females really heighten in this age demographic and this is way too early for most people to be responsible and mature enough to compromise and be understanding of the opposite sex. That's my rant, do what you will, Columbia.
I went to UC Santa Cruz in the early 90s. In the on-campus apartments, males and females could mix, so long as it was 2 females and 2 males. Of course, once the 4 moved in, the university couldn't dictate how the 4 chose to live.
im totally for it. it would solve a lot of problems especially for steady couples who need a place to live on campus, and can't really move out because of financial strains, parents, etc.
Wait, can same sex couples partake in this? What about polyamorous relationships in which more than 2 people are involved? I think the idea is OK. Many college students in relationships sometimes live together in apartments after all. I just want to know if everyone can be included in this, so no one feels left out or marginalized.
i think its a good idea, i dunno that i'd necessarily live with an SO though... my best friend's a woman and i think it would be fun to live with her if i could