Monday, 07 December 2009
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How To Tell If You Are Being Used
Let me get directly to the point - an ex hook up and I have been talking again. I have always had a crush on him, despite the fact that he is 21 and I am 18. He called everything off with me about a year ago, and we did not talk again until about 3ish months ago. I was fully aware he was an asshole, so I had my guard up. I ignored a large percentage of his calls, and always blew him off. I did not want to get played for the second time by this loser.
My friend thought he was a genuine guy, and that I should just let him into my life. I thought otherwise. To prove her wrong, I texted him, and made plans to hangout. He said he wanted to watch a movie at his house because "we would have more fun alone."
Then, I decided to burst his bubble. I told him I would NOT do anything sexual with him. I then got the one word answer: "Oh." So I asked him if he still wanted to hangout, his response? "we'll see." That was four days prior to this post, and I have not heard from him since.
Have you ever had something along these lines happen to you? Would you let yourself get used?
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- From: Believe_InMe
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Comments (86)
First, 3 years really isn't a significant age difference once you're an adult.
Second, getting used is a little different from a guys perspective. It's rare that a girl wants sex from a guy and not much more. I was in such a situation once, and stayed in it until something 'real' came along.
Whoa nelly! You got him where where you want him with that one.
Nice move.
Women use you for money,
Men use you for sex.
It all makes sense now...
Everything evens out.
Well that was easy. Some guys act genuine for a long time and don't give up right when you send a text
Derp derp derp! He pretty much blew what little cover he had there! At least he didn't really attempt to lead you on. Good move on your part.
I hate that feeling of being used. My ex boyfriend and I went through that whole spiel and while I was aware of it happening to me, I still went through it anyway. I tried to convince myself that I was using him so I would feel a bit better about the situation. I didn't and it backfired on me anyway. Needless to say, I sure felt like a fool. :|
Why are you talking to this guy at all??
Umm... didn't you refer to the guy as an "ex-hook up" in the beginning of your blog?
That would insinuate that you two didn't have a bf/gf relationship, and more or less had a friends w/benefits type of relationship instead.
So why take it personally if he wants that same friends w/benefits friendship as you guys once had before?
what a douche bag.
you are very strong and confident. i like that about you.
He sounds like a genuine guy who would definitely never use you. *sarcasm*
I don't like being used...
Usually, when a college student shows interest in a high school student or a 20-year old shows interest in someone still in their teens, they only want sex and nothing long-lasting. I've had friends go through the exact same thing and I can count the exceptions on one hand.
Seems like a decent guy to me.
I think he's being standoffish and wasn't in the mood for any relationship. Don't offer him anymore strings for him to play.
a guy is using me right now, to get to my friends...
we used to hook up, occasionally.
recently he put me in the friendzone.
ya know, the zone where you dont get any love or sex.
sucked so bad.
but i still like having him around...
i fell.
@Gerald_Washington@xanga - you must be single.
i love this! it relates to the situation i am in at this point. thanks for the post!
ok so let's get this straight. you were an ex hook-up. not ex gf. and so when you tell him that you want to hang out, and not do anything sexual, he's surprised. this seems to make perfect sense to me. i might also add that you've not given us any reason to believe that he's using you (based, again, on your own statement that you were an ex hook-up).
@TrishaJustTrisha@xanga - you say this as if it's an insult.
@snowisreallycold@xanga - whoops, didn't realize you beat me to it :p
I think I love you.?
Men don't want sex? *SHOCK*
Has not happened to me, but has happened to a very close friend of mine. Guys like them DISGUST me.
Props to you for calling him out!
The person should not want
youjust for your body, money, or anything that's out in the world, if he really likes
youthen he/she would start to hang around
youor smile sometimes even be pretty shy ( i had a guy who liked me and he started asking my friends a hundred questions about me funny long story)
Love is a very big word to use now, especially these days, but when
youthink a guy or a lady likes
you, here are some tips for all of us. As a guy I should be willing to spend some time with
you, even though that time will be spent listening to your boring stories. Secondly I should wait for the right time to have sex with
you, but I promise it won't take more than a month, because I believe that it will strengthen the relationship. Thirdly both parties should know its 50-50, I'm not going to pull 90% of our relationship we are both involved here.
@TrishaJustTrisha@xanga - she/he is using
youshe/he will be all over
youwhen another guy/girl comes around
you.
that friend that told you that he was a genuine guy, pfft that happened to me before. trust your own instincts.
@Gerald_Washington@xanga -
I felt so disturb by your comment. I never used any of my ex's money... You got to realise that most women these days are very self-sustainable. If we use you for money, we probably just want to make you feel good about yourself.